Thursday, August 1, 2013

Well I never—and as long as we’re on the subject...


When you have a personal blog like mine, you take very little for granted—you’re always on the lookout for inspiration for your next post.  Well, that’s how I roll and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve posted something here and thought “that’s it, no more, I’ve shared too much already”.  And then something will strike me a certain way and I’m back on here writing, anxious to share it with whoever will listen.

Earlier tonight on the bus ride home from work, I overheard a woman (on her phone)saying “Well I never…” over and over.  Around the third or fourth time, I was biting my upper lip to keep from chuckling; she must’ve been hearing some pretty juicy stuff!  Anyway, it got me to thinking about the phrase, & then I began thinking about things that I’ve yet to do in this lifetime, and perhaps never will.

So in honor of the phrase, here’s fifty (reasonable) items I came up with:

Well I’ve never:

  1. Walked on burning coals (but I don’t know anyone else who has either)
  2. Been arrested (or gotten a speeding ticket, though I’ve deserved one)
  3. Bought a coffee at Starbucks 
  4. Gone skiing (water or snow) 
  5. Been to a professional ballgame
  6. Drank green beer
  7. Eaten sushi, caviar, or steak tartare (but I think I’d like to)
  8. Eaten escargot (and I’m fine with it)
  9. Owned contact lenses (I’ve worn glasses since I was 13)
  10. Watched a single episode of ‘ER’, ‘Law & Order’, ‘Baywatch’ or anything with those Kardashians
  11. Parallel parked (well, after my drivers exam)
  12. Worn braces
  13. Been married (but I did live with a girl once)
  14. Bought a Marvel comic book
  15. Been further west than Ohio
  16. Seen or heard a ghost
  17. Passed a kidney stone (knock on wood)
  18. Owned an Apple ipod, ipad, iphone, ianything 
  19. Found a four leaf clover
  20. Learned to tie a bow-tie
  21. Changed a tire
  22. Played poker
  23. Been to a Star Trek convention
  24. Dated an Asian or African-American girl (but it wasn’t intentional)
  25. Shot anything (with a gun)
  26. Been robbed (knock on wood again)
  27. Worn suspenders
  28. Been hypnotized (though a couple fools have tried)
  29. Asked someone for their autograph
  30. Been to a costume party
  31. Sent a text message from my phone 
  32. Been to a strip club
  33. Flown in a helicopter
  34. Made a tuna casserole
  35. Gotten a shoe-shine
  36. Had my tonsils (or appendix or gall bladder) removed
  37. Smoked pot
  38. Eaten at Red Lobster
  39. Missed an episode of ‘Survivor’ since it began airing in 2000
  40. Worn cuff-links
  41. Eaten sardines (or a pizza with anchovies)
  42. Hunted for Easter eggs
  43. Owned a pair of overalls
  44. Slept in a king-sized, brass or waterbed
  45. Been in a fistfight
  46. Owned a home
  47. Had a birthday party
  48. Used a loofah sponge or pumice stone
  49. Bounced a check
  50. Seen a UFO (but I haven’t given up hoping!)  Smile


  1. Re: 14. AAAAAARRRRHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.... But, hey, try sushi! And steak tartar. And escargots in garlic butter...

  2. Hahaha! Iikka if it helps, my college roommate had a huge collection of Marvel books, I spent most of my free time reading 'em! And ok Mr.Continental, I'll take your word about that cuisine :)

  3. Well, of your list mine would include 22 items. But.. NEVER SENT A SMS?!?!?

  4. 22, Iikka? You? Very interesting! And no sir--not a SINGLE phone text message, ever. No plans to either, cuz I know that once you start...!



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