Thursday, August 21, 2014

Destroy, destroy... I’m ready to destroy everyone in my path (just kidding, folks)

destroy

 

I admit I wasn’t in the best of moods this morning.  After a long work week, I sat there at my desk Friday afternoon & calmly tried to fill out my weekly timesheet while not watching the stock market take a bad tumble—my dreams of early retirement zapped by the evil robots on Wall Street.

And then the next thing I know, it’s around 4am, I’ve just awoken in a sitting position on my couch with my head resting on my right shoulder, and my tv is shouting at me to wake up and watch this nifty infomercial for the “Hurricane Mop”.  Meanwhile, my (very hot) laptop is busy branding the name TOSHIBA into the tops of my legs.  Arrgh!

So when I went to bed and got up (again) still feeling grumpy and out of sorts, I made a cup of coffee and thought I’d see what the folks on Facebook were up to.  I was greeted with this alert:  “Courtney has tagged you in a photo”.  (That’s my youngest sister.)  Oh I hate being tagged in photos.  I clicked on the link and it was this cheesy artwork of a baby deer surrounded by baby bunnies and blue butterflies.  At the top was the caption “Family is…”  and of course I did what any older brother in his right mind would do, gagged on the swallow of coffee in my mouth and then responded with this!

vomit7

Now I was just kidding of course (cough not really) but WHY IS THERE SO MUCH DRECK POSTED ON FACEBOOK.  For example, a couple posts below Courtney’s wretched love-fest were some words of wisdom from another relative:

"Don't expect others to heal you, you have to understand that the healing of a broken heart is an inside job..."

Christ Almighty, c’mon!  Why why why!   Not a day goes by that I’m not getting some life-lessons on there, with those infernal quotes.  Not just from family, but half the women on Facebook.  And then there’s my cousin, who enjoys sharing stuff like this:

Maybe this is his way of balancing out all the putridosity (or he’s just trying to stir things up), I don’t know.  What I DO know, I read this article (you can too, click on the photo) and it made me gag just as hard as that other stuff!

I’m just in an extra-sore mood today.  Normally this stuff doesn’t affect me like this, but it seems today there’s a wealth of it & there’s no stopping me.  I visited ‘The Town of Waynesburg’ page (my old hometown) and these are the types of posts I’m greeted with:

“FREE SOFA NEEDED!  I haven’t had a sofa for awhile but now I need a free one!”   (I need lots of things too—especially when they’re free)

“RINGER WASHER NEEDED!  NEW!”   (Er… it’s a ‘wringer washer’ and they stopped makin’ those contraptions in 1945)

“CHEAP STOVE WANTED!  OR A FREE ONE!!  A GRIDDLE WOULD BE NICE TOO”  (I’d like one with a griddle too, mine only came with burners) 

I know I’m being a real pissy pants here, forgive me.  But if people can post these requests on Facebook for everyone to see, then why can’t I share some of them here!?  Oh I wish I could kick something, it’s just that kind of morning.

wringer

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