Friday, August 16, 2013

Chapter Two in my Diary of a Fat Man: Oh Joy!


Last week when my friend & coworker Jeff  informed me he had cause to celebrate (his wife upped his lunch allowance, which now permitted him to eat out more often) how did we mark the occasion?  By going to the Golden Palace Buffet, of course!

If you’ve never been, it’s a wonderful thing.  There’s a long table laden with steaming metal hot-trays of everything on a Chinese menu (and then some).  I’m partial to the crab rangoons.  It’s all you can eat for $8.00, and if you’re not planning on going back for seconds (or thirds) then you have no business eating there.

So after we filled our plates and sat down, an attractive woman approached our table.  She said “Hello Doug?  Remember me?  We worked together many years ago.”   I said “Um… hi!  It’s nice to see you again, gosh how long has it been?”  (Nope, not a clue who she is—a name or date would help.)  She said “Well, I left in 1996, then got remarried… my last name is so-and-so now.”   She asks how I’ve been, I say just fine and ask how she’s been, she says just fine, there’s an awkward pause & she says “Well it was nice seeing you.”  I say “You too Ms.So-and-so” and she laughs and says “You can still call me Joy!” and walks to the buffet.  My buddy Jeff says “Who was that?” and I tell him his guess is as good as mine.  And just as we’re about to begin our Chinese gorge-fest, it dawns on me:  JOY??

 Here’s me and Joy at a coworkers barbecue sometime in the 90s.  She doesn’t look anything like this now! 

I jumped up & headed to the buffet and said “Hi, please forgive me for not remembering, but are you the same Joy that sat right across from me at the Dept of Aging in 1995?”  

She laughed and said “Yes Doug!”   I told her I was sorry I didn’t recognize her right away & that she looked terrific.  She laughed again and said thank you, she’d lost the weight 15 years ago and it’s been awhile since she received any compliments about it.  Wow.

I went back to work, thought about it the rest of the day, came home and dusted off the digital scales I haven’t stood on since May.  It wasn’t pretty.  I thought “Well, I DID graze at a chinese buffet today, I’ll wait a couple days and try this again…”   No difference, still the same godawful number.  I knew I needed to set a new goal, start posting my weigh-ins again. 

I’m going to update the table below every week until… I don’t know, 2014?  Or until I lose 25 lbs, whichever comes first.  (This may turn out to be one big-ass chart… wish me luck!)


Date Weight Gain/Loss Total
Aug 16 233.50 0 0
Aug 23 232.00 -01.50 -01.50
Aug 30 231.00 -01.00 -02.50
Sep 06 234.00 +03.00 +00.50
Sep 13 232.00 -02.00 -01.50
Sep 20 231.50 -00.50 -02.00
Sep 27 231.50 0.00 -02.00
Oct 04 230.50 -01.00 -03.00
Oct 11 231.00 +00.50 -02.50
Oct 18 231.00 0 -02.50
Oct 25 231.00 0 -02.50
Nov 01 231.00 0 -02.50
Nov 08 232.00 +01.00 -01.50
Nov 15 233.50 +01.50 0
Nov 22 234.00 +00.50 +00.50
Nov 29 235.00 +01.50 +01.50
Dec 06 237.00 +02.00 +03.50

Okay I give up, this is clearly not going in the direction I wanted (and the holidays are not helping)!   Laugh it up Buddha, but I refuse to give up—I’ll be back in 2014!


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