What is LDN? I'm about to find out

Last week, I was having some trouble falling asleep a couple nights  (my long covid flareups strike any time of day or night) so I got on my tablet to do some more reading on nicotine patch therapy.

(I bought them back in June, used them for a few days, didn't like their effect on me.  Maybe I didn't give them enough time.)   But the recent articles and videos I was seeing weren't very hopeful.  More and more users and doctors were saying they did NOT help with chronic LC issues; the nicotine was only serving as a distraction, a mild stimulant.  Now what?

That's when I began noticing more and more articles & videos about something called "Low Dose Naltrexone", or LDN for short.

What is LDN?   It's typically prescribed in much larger amounts, 50mg pills to combat opioid and alcohol addiction.  But some years back, medical professionals began noticing that much smaller doses, typically 1.5 to 4.5 millograms, were helping some people with chronic diseases like fibromylgia and MS, and others with chronic fatigue, brain fog, nerve pain, and inflammation.

But most pharmacies only carry it in 50mg form, so if you want to try micro-dosing, you need to get the pills from a compounding pharmacy.  You'll also need a doctor's prescription.

I found both a doctor and special pharmacy online (at 3am!) and had to fill out a lengthy medical profile.  A couple days later I got a call from Dr. Ira Shika that she was approving my prescription.

I just got the pills in the mail Monday afternoon.  It was $105.00 for a 3 month supply if you take 0.5 mg a day.  I'm expected to increase my dosage by 0.5 every 2 weeks until I reach 4.5 mg daily, so this could get expensive.  Also, you're not expected to see results anytime soon, not for a couple months.  But right now I'm willing to try anything to reduce these LC symptoms.

What have I got to lose besides a few bucks, right?  Wish me luck...

A letter from Shelley and taking things day by day

I occasionally get emails from people who read or have seen my blog and want to offer some advice, or share their own experiences.  Yesterday I got this email from someone named Shelley:

I’m sorry to read about your long covid Doug I’ve had long covid for six years. As a nurse I got it in my lungs in 2020 while working a Covid wing. In that time it took everything from me. Short of breath today as I speak my lungs burn but it comes and goes. But when it hits hard I want my life to end. I get so depressed. Before covid I loved to dance and exercised all the time. Now I work part time with severe neuropathy caused from Covid. I’ll smile through any symptom except for the shortness of breath it gives me and when I feel inflammation in my brain, the dark thoughts it gives me. What did help was antihistamine and Prilosec. That was a game changer but sadly it wasn’t a cure. Take care and good Luck Doug. Shelley.

I know this wasn't a pleasant read, I'm sorry about that.  I don't know this woman, but my heart still broke for her while reading it.  I totally get it, the anxiety, depression, the dark thoughts.  I earnestly pray for a miracle for Shelley.  (Shelley if you're reading this and want to talk, contact me.)

For all the blogging I've done about this, and sharing with friends, it's still something you pretty much suffer with alone.  I am coming up on the one year anniversary of the return of my long covid, and it didn't make sense the first time I had it, and even less sense now.

I suffered with this for 18 months--from January 2024 to late May 2025--before it began fading for good.  Aside from a 20 minute episode almost daily last summer, and a scary 4 day relapse in July, by late August 2025 I considered it pretty much over.

 (Late August was also the time I got plantar fascitis in both feet, and I had a real temper tantrum over that.  I should've been thanking my maker that the long covid symptoms were gone.)

When I made that dental appointment to get one cavity filled (not the 5 or 6 that shyster claimed needed drilled into and filled) I was 100% certain I was LC free.  He saw me on September 4 for x-rays and a very, very intense cleaning with scrapers and a rotating sand wheel that lasted over an hour and I was STILL absolutely fine the next day.  

It's when I went back on September 11 and he began that drilling, injecting 3 shots of lidocaine into my face and then that one injection of articaine, that did it.  I'm convinced that articaine was the "trigger" for the return of the long covid.  It sent me nearly all the way back to square one.

Anyway, it's been nearly a year now and I get glimpses of hope--but they never seem to last too long.  I was very, very fortunate last Wednesday when I was able to go on that lunch outing at the senior center.  While waiting for the Access shuttle to arrive, my dear friend Mary came in and we got to chat for awhile.  It felt so much like old times.  

But later that night, when I called my friend Diana to tell her about the day, the right side of my face was hurting so badly I had to cut our conversation short.

I look back on this past summer, spending those 8 days in the hospital, the 2 surgeries, the at-home physical therapy and rehab for walking and breathing, I'm almost surprised how successfully that all turned out.  So why can't this?   

I have to believe this isn't going to last forever, it just needs time.  But I'm turning 65 in 2 months and time isn't something I have in abundance.  Okay I'm done, just needed to get this off my chest.  Thanks as always for letting me share.

PS.  I'm finishing up a more lighthearted post I'll be sharing here real soon, I hope you dig it! 

I suppose my reading room is now my writing room

One nice thing about writing a personal blog is the ability to go back and find things I've shared, when my own memory is fuzzy.  For instance, on May 24 I posted a blog titled "A Big Setback" where my daily discomfort level from long covid had really escalated, and I was letting everyone know I may not be around for awhile.

Looking back, I was wrestling with a lot of oral inflammation and only eating very bland things when my gallbladder ruptured 2 weeks later on June 7.  That week in the hospital, after the two surgeries and on a liquid diet, I had to keep asking for low sodium broths because my covid-related BMS (burning mouth syndrome) was making me hypersensitive to any spices or salt.  

A week or so after I returned home on June 20, the symptoms began to let up.  And when my friend Kim went with me to Mercy Hospital for a post surgery follow-up on June 25, my covid symptoms had greatly reduced.  I confided to Kim I was feeling pretty optimistic.  I posted a photo of us on my blog, and my sister told me I looked like my old self.

Of course, the long covid symptoms returned that weekend.  They lasted a week, winked out a couple days (allowing me to meet up with some friends from the senior center for lunch, my first outing in 8 months) then returned again on July 17.  

These last couple weeks have been tough.  Lots of inflammation in the eyes, burning in the left side of head and mouth, and that heavy, strange smell of diesel fuel and decayed flowers. 

For the past year, I've been avoiding all videos and articles pertaining to long covid.  But these past couple weeks left me wondering if there's any kind of answers yet.  Nope.  Medical experts claim the US has 10 million documented cases, the UK has 2 million.  They said the real numbers are probably double that.  They also claim LC comes with 300 different symptoms and remissions are common, giving many sufferers false hope.  

Most sufferers remain in isolation, and say they've lost their jobs, family, friends.  At least I can't lose my social security.  Still, I read my blogger friends weekly adventures and wonder when I'll be back out there again.  

My senior center has a restaurant outing on August 12; I asked to be included, fingers crossed...

When I was first hit with this in early 2024, I had a busy calendar and hated the thought of canceling anything, especially a Titanic exhibit.  I never dreamed I'd still be missing out on things 2 1/2 years later.  

For now at least, I'm blessed to still have people in my life I enjoy spending time with on the phone.  My friend Diana in West Virginia, my sister Shawn, my friend Pen who I've known since grade school, my dear friend Kim (who I refer to as Kimba, she's a two-time cancer survivor and white lion).  They've all spent hours with me on the phone, and I would be lost without them.

To the readers out there who read my posts and leave comments, thank you.  You really matter too.  I feel bad, I came in here to do some reading on my tablet and the next thing you know... I need to wrap this up, my bottom is numb.  Until next time. 😌

Medicare Advantage is here--and it's a small world after all

Here it is, my "Welcome to Medicare" letter from UPMC Health Plan and Medicare Advantage card.  Two weeks ago I spoke with Virginia, an independent Medicare agent and it couldn't have gone better.  

Virginia said I could come to her office, she could come to my home, or we could have a Google Chat (like Facetime) on our tablets.   

I elected to do the online meetup, though I still ran in the bathroom and shaved and combed my hair before we got things started. 👨

She asked me how old I was, I said I was turning 65 in 3 months.  She told me the first thing I had to do was go to Medicare.gov and enroll.  She could walk me thru it, but we wouldn't be able to continue until I got my card in the mail.

I said I applied for Social Security in January, which automatically enrolled me in Medicare and I already got my card a couple weeks ago; did she need the number?  She said "I have a feeling you're going to be my easiest client today."

I told her I had several Medicare Advantage plans already selected from 3 different insurance carriers:  Aetna, Highmark, UPMC.  She asked if I had any recent medical history and I said boy, do I.  Two operations in June, one on my liver's bile ducts and then a gallbladder removal.

She asked if I knew how much my out of pocket costs were, after insurance.  I told her $880.00 (including ambulance).  We determined that Medicare thru UPMC was closest to my current insurance plan--and my familiarity with UPMC hospitals made them the preferred choice, so I wound up going with UPMC for Life HMO Premier Rx.

After we did the electronic signatures and everything, Virginia asked about my ice pack (I was occasionally holding against the side of my face) and asked if I was suffering with a migraine or allergies.  I told her I had long covid, a chronic inflammatory condition.  She said "I'm so sorry!  My sister-in-law has long covid!"

That's when the conversation got interesting.  Her sister-in-law got LC in 2022 and was forced to take a leave of absence from her job as a school teacher.  After 2 years, she was hardly any better but was close to 60 so she retired early instead.  

Like myself, Virginia's sister-in-law gets hopeful days here and there, but the relapses just keep coming.  She doesn't see an end in sight.  I told Virginia it does feel hopeless at times but you have to believe it will end sooner or later.

One thing I appreciated, Virginia complained her glasses were bothering her nose and she had to get a new pair soon.  I said I did too, mine fit fine but were 8 years old.  After we hung up, she called me right back and told me to hold off on those glasses a little bit longer, I'd be getting a Flex Spend card soon I can use towards them.  Works for me.

Well, I almost didn't blog about this (it's boring, I know).  But I'm glad I did---when I was inspecting my Medicare card to see what to gray-out before sharing, I noticed it said "NO PCP SELECTED" on it and I did give them my new PCP, Dr. Cole.  I just called and reported this, they said "Someone messed up, you'll get a new card in 10 days."   Not exactly a great start, UPMC!

Here's Dr. Cole's photo.  He's a handsome devil, but very smart and very kind.  I like him a lot.

Gallbladder Chili, hope for nicotine & a couple other things

I know they've been around awhile, but aren't freezers remarkable things?  Back on Sunday, June 7 I made a small pot of chili for dinner.  But while it was bubbling away, I was fast losing my appetite and didn't know why.

I wound up letting the chili cool, pouring it into a container and putting it in the freezer.  3 hours later, I was in an ambulance, headed to the hospital for a blocked bile duct and emergency gallbladder surgery.

It's been hidden in the back of my freezer ever since, along with a frozen Italian roll.  I'd forgotten about them until last night when I was trying to make some room in there.  And seeing as how it's Thursday, and Soup Day in the Teepee... I wonder how it will taste.

Okay, it's delicious.  I just keep thinking, when I made this chili I had a gallbladder.  Ah well!

Yesterday my sister texted me and said she'd recently learned that GLP-1 drugs have been helping people with long covid.  I contacted my doctor's office and left a message, a couple hours later they returned my call and said Dr. Cole would discuss it with me early Thursday morning.  

Last week I had 2 relatively good days, Tues & Wed.  I was able to attend that Senior outing for lunch at the Old Sewickley Hotel.  But since then, the symptoms returned with a lot of inflammation in my temples and around my eyes, and pain in the jaw & mouth.

Dr. Cole is a young doctor, but honest and knowledgeable.  He told me he would not prescribe a GLP-1 for me for long covid symptoms.  He asked me if I'd gained a lot of weight since my last visit (last Sept) and I said I'd lost almost 20 lbs. since last summer.  He said "You probably have a high BMI but not enough to qualify.  Douglas, you have a history of issues with your pancreas, kidneys & liver.  Those GLP drugs put you at a higher risk for further complications."  

I told him about NHS studies of low-grade nicotine patches helping some with their long covid symptoms and he said "Can't you try upping your dosage of acetaminophen?  Those patches are for smokers and can adversely affect people with hypertension.  If you want to try them it's up to you, but you'll need to monitor your blood pressure."  Will do.

After I got off the phone with him, I put my first patch on my left underarm.  Here goes nothing.

It just occurred to me, today is my dad's birthday.  He died nearly 27 years ago and would've turned 90 today.  It's hard to believe he's been gone so long.

Finally, have you seen the movie "Obsession" that was released earlier this year?  Made on a shoestring budget of $725,000 it earned over $400 million at the box office.  I said awhile back I was done with horror movies, but saw the film was playing on Peacock this past weekend and curiosity got the best of me.

The movie is about a young man who has a secret crush on his friend & co-worker Nikki.  One day he buys a "One Wish Willow" stick at a novelty shop and wishes Nikki loved him more than anyone else in the world.  So what happens when his wish is granted?  It both is and isn't what you'd expect, but I found it brilliant as it was horrific.  

The next day, my niece Sophia texted me and said she'd heard I seen it, and would I recommend it.  Her boyfriend Luke wanted her to see it.  I warned her it was very good but wasn't pretty.  She told me later she did like it, but covered her eyes a couple times.

Speaking of pretty, here she is with her young man Luke.  All I can say is... my goodness.

I reckon milestones are like gallstones; they come in all shapes and sizes

A couple days ago I called my barber Roe and asked if she could fit me in.  She said to come on up, and while it took a bit longer to get there (about 35 minutes vs my customary 15 minute walk) I still made it there and back on my own.  That's a half-mile trip each way and the most I've walked in 20 days.

When I got home, there was a letter from the Federal govt in my mailbox.  I thought "Uh-oh, Trump has declared another war and I've been drafted."  Fortunately I was wrong and it was from Medicare.  

I got my Medicare card, which means I've reached the government's benchmark for being classified a senior citizen, effective October 1.  

To be honest, I'm going to miss my ACA health insurance; not only are my premiums $45.00 cheaper a month than Medicare, I think I have better coverage too.  

Now I have to figure out if I want a Medicare Advantage plan.  It looks like I don't really have a choice.  Medigap coverage (keeping traditional Medicare and getting a supplement to cover the 20% Medicare doesn't pay) is outrageously expensive.

Are you on Medicare Advantage?  Do you like your plan?

At least I have insurance.  I've been getting pre-insurance "DO NOT PAY" medical bills for my 2 recent surgeries and 8 day hospital stay and home rehab visits, we are talking tens of thousands of dollars.  The gall bladder surgery alone was $22,700 and my ambulance was $1662.00 before insurance kicked in.  My final bill for that ride is $85.93.  Whew!

On another positive note, I went 4 days in a row with reduced long covid symptoms.  

I was all set to say 5 days, unfortunately my LC reared its ugly head an hour after I got up this morning.  But for the last few days I've been waking up feeling pretty normal.  So the LC may not be gone just yet, but for something that's been ongoing since last September (with zero let up) this break in symptoms seems pretty significant.

I hope I'm not jinxing things by speaking up too soon, but 4 consecutive mornings of relative calm?  I can't help but feel hopeful.  

Still debating whether I should attempt this "nicotine patch" therapy.  I think I'll wait a couple more days and see.

Finally, this isn't important in the slightest but it's still a milestone.  This is my 800th post.    

Back in 2006 when my friend Ross suggested I start a blog (we belonged to an online message forum and I enjoyed sharing stories about coworkers, weekend cooking, etc) I said I'd give it a try but probably wouldn't write more than a dozen posts total.  Who'd want to read about my humdrum life anyway?

Well, to the few out there that do it's been a great motivator.  Thanks everybody.  😏

There is something to be said for old friends and real healing

My friend Kim H and myself, home from the doctor

The day after I posted my blog about spending a week in the hospital, an old friend (Kim H, who reads my blog) contacted me and said "What can I do to help? Pick up prescriptions from the pharmacy, go shopping for you, cook some meals you can warm up later, take you to your next appointment... let me know."

My gosh, she is one of a kind. 

Here's the story on Kim.  We became friends back in 1988 when we both worked downtown at the Allegheny County Dept of Aging.  She had just gotten married, I had just started working at the agency, but we were close in age and clicked right away.  I left Aging in 1998 for greener pastures, and we stayed in touch with Christmas & birthday cards and the occasional phone call or email.  But we haven't gotten together in many, many years.

Anyway, I thanked Kim for her generous offer but when you've lived alone as long as I have you want to take care of yourself.  Several days into things however, I realized I wasn't doing so well.  That's when I made my first home grocery order, and contacted Kim and asked if she would go to my doctors office with me for my 10 day post-surgery followup.  She said of course, and that's us there at the top, home from the doctor on Thursday.

The doctor's appointment went very well.  He removed the last of my bandages, listened to my lungs and heart, checked my oxygen level.  When I told him I didn't feel I was recuperating fast enough, he said "You've been home from the hospital 10 days.  I told you at checkout you'd need 6 weeks to make a full recovery.  Stop trying to be a Steeler."  A Steeler!  I said I was sorry and he said "Mr. Morris, many of my after-surgery patients arrive here in wheelchairs--you're doing great!"

He did make a couple revisions to my recovery plan though.  I have PT & RT (respiratory therapists) coming to my place again on Monday, darn it.  Enough!

I didn't bring up my long covid-nicotine patch idea, darn that too.  I'm going to hold off on that until I'm more my old self.

Afterwards, Kim took me grocery shopping at Kuhn's, then helped carry my stuff upstairs and stayed and chatted for an hour.  We talked about old friends, her grandkids, what our families have been up to.  I enjoyed her visit so much.  

When I was walking her to the elevator, I was thinking how much I'd missed Kim and wished we were closer like the old days.  As the doors opened and she stepped on, she said "I think we need to be better friends and be a bigger part of each others lives again."   She must've read my mind!

A wonderful ending to a great morning.  Kim, if you're reading this... thanks again. 

Meanwhile, life goes on: Thinking out Loud, June 2026

A couple days ago my sister Courtney sent this photo of her & her husband Robert's 3 dogs--Stormy, Shiva & Ace, following her into the basement of their home in Cincinnati Ohio.  For some reason it reminded me of that big dog licking Richard Mulligan's face in the opening of that '80s sitcom "Empty Nest".  

"Life goes on, and so do we... how do we do it is a mystery..."   

I'm sitting here in my customary spot on the floor in front of my couch on a cloudy afternoon, no plans of course (except what I'm making for dinner--a pot of chili) and feeling better than I have been in awhile.

From the neck down, I am healing up nicely.  My four belly incisions from my gall bladder surgery aren't pretty, but no longer hurt.  My stomach's monster swelling has gone down, and last night (for the first time since the surgery) I was able to lie flat on my back at bedtime.  

From the neck up however... the long covid pushes on.  Burning eyes, dry mouth, pressure in sides of my head.  But there is improvement. 

I feel I need to apologize to anyone reading this, as I have a difficult time keeping mum about my health issues.  I've driven a couple people in my life away since the whole long covid thing began, and I'm not sure I'll be able to get them back and frankly I don't think I even want to.  But at the very least I want to thank all the friends and visitors who take the time to come here and read my blog.  I feel guilty sharing so much here, but it sure helps to get it out.  

On a lovelier note, here's a recent photo of my niece Sophia with her beau Luke.  Is it just me because I'm her uncle, or is this young woman as beautiful as I think? 

Heavens.  And speaking of family (and long covid), the morning my whole gall bladder adventure began, I was talking to Sophia's mom (my sister Shawn) who asked if I'd heard about nicotine patches being a possible aid in reducing long covid symptoms.

I did, but never really looked into it until that call.  There's no official studies of course, or documented findings, but some researchers claim 7mg of nicotine daily for 30 days seemed to help a number of cases.  So I figured, why not.

I'm not crazy about the notion of wearing a nicotine patch again (I quit smoking nearly 20 years ago) but at least it's a very small amount of nicotine and right now I'm willing to try anything.   I have an appointment with my surgeon this Thursday (I suppose he wants to review his handiwork) and if everything looks okay, I think I'm going to begin the nicotine patch regimen next week.

Well, that's all I have for now.  After a week of eating oatmeal, bananas & chicken paste I am craving something red.  I'm anxious to see if I can tolerate a bowl of chili without too much inflammation or oral pain.  I normally add a lot of spices to my chili--garlic, ground red pepper, chili powder, etc. but not this time.  My body is way too tender for anything more than ground beef, tomatoes and beans.   Thanks for stopping by, it's much appreciated.

I have Frankenstein's stomach, other weirdness and for 19 things there is a first time

Wednesday morning I got a call from someone named Colleen, my "case manager" at UPMC.  I almost didn't take the call but I'm glad I did, she was knowledgeable and honest.

She had a pretty good understanding of my week in the hospital, and asked what my stomach was looking like.  I said it looked like Frankenstein's stomach, with red slashes and covered in green, blue and brown bruises.  

I said it was also tender to the touch and EXTREMELY swollen. I've eaten so much less since this whole thing began yet my stomach feels and looks like I was 9 months pregnant.

I'm not making this up--I came very close to sharing a photo of my monster belly here but was too embarrassed.

She told me the average patient gains between 10-15 pounds following surgery and a stay in the hospital (from being sedentary and receiving IV bags of various nutrients 24 hours a day).  As for all the swelling and soreness, I have a lot of enflamed organs right now. 

I told Colleen that I was just concerned why I'm not feeling lots better.  A few people have sent me articles or videos on what to expect following gall bladder surgery, people often go home the same day or the next morning, not a week later.  She said "Yours was emergency surgery, not elective.  Plus you underwent two surgeries two days in a row.  And then you got those infections and the pneumonia, so your outcome was different."

I asked her how soon I can begin doing some light exercising again (I always liked to do arm & leg stuff while watching tv) and she said "Nope, none of that.  You can start taking some light walks in 2-3 weeks."   Oh well, I'm still being forced to sleep upright because of breathing problems.

Colleen said I also run the risk of getting a hernia right now, and to avoid picking up anything heavier than a gallon of milk for another 3 weeks.  Easier said than done.

The surgeon wants to do a follow-up with me on June 25.  I hope I'm well enough to go, my dear friend Kim has graciously agreed to go with me.  

As long as I'm doing a health update here, I'm still wrestling with these long covid symptoms.  The left eye and temple inflammation have been subdued for over a week now, but still lots of soreness and weirdness inside my mouth, tongue & gums.  Things like chocolate, salt, tomato sauce are like eating red pepper.  It sucks, but could be worse.

And finally, something I never thought I'd do--I bought groceries online today from Walmart.com.  There was an extra $15.00 added to my bill for delivery & driver's tip, but all the items I requested showed up at my doorstep.  (And no broken eggs.)  A nice convenience but I like my walks to Kuhns.

This past week has been a thing

Before I say anything else, I wanted to thank everyone who expressed concern at my vacancy from these parts.  It meant a lot to see your comments appear on my recent blog post, and to get personal emails from ones like Margaret, Sharon, Robin, Siobhan, Tom... Thanks again everyone.

By Thursday I was showing some real whiskers

Last Sunday (June 7) I'd just finished washing up my dinner dishes, and was here in my living room on my laptop, putting the finishing touches on my next blog.

It wasn't anything too special--some family pics, some chili I'd made, and a radical idea my sister Shawn had passed along for treating my long covid.  Maybe I'll go ahead and post it anyway.

Around 6:20pm, I noticed I was taking quicker breaths.  I thought "Please God, don't let this be a gallstone."  It's usually the first symptom.  I've gotten them on occasion the last 4-5 years.  The pain is off the charts, you pace back and forth and breath hard, but it's usually over in 90 minutes.

So the pain did set in, and I shut off my computer, filled up my hot water bottle (to hold against my stomach, it helps) and basically just stood there as the tsunami started.  It gets so bad, you don't dare move a muscle.  Anyway--90 minutes later it felt even worse.  This had never happened before.  I told myself I'd call for an ambulance if it didn't improve by 11pm.

The view from my hospital bed this past week

I didn't make it to 11pm.  By 9pm the pain was so horrendous, I could barely gasp my name and location to 911.  They had a couple paramedics here in 5 minutes.  Several of my neighbors watched them strap me down on a stretcher while I cried out like a maniac, a couple even followed me and the paramedics outside.   

They couldn't have moved faster in the ER.  Pumped me full of drugs and asked if I had a history of kidney or gallstones.  Yes.  I spent the next 6-7 hours getting chest x-rays, CT-scans again & again, an ultrasound and then an MRI.

The resident physician said "It's gallstones alright, but you have a ruptured gall bladder.  You've got stones everywhere.  We're concerned about your bile duct as well.  You're looking at a couple surgeries here, and if we don't do them soon... those drugs in your system will only help so long."

They moved my bed to the Observation Deck, and Monday morning at 11am  Dr. Singh introduced himself and told me he'd be cleaning out and repairing my bile duct.  (He told me mine had several "scary large" ones.)   I don't want to spend a lot of time on this one.  When I came to, I was in my appointed hospital room, nauseated, dizzy and burning all over uncomfortable.   I pulled back my covers, and was literally soaked from the stomach down in urine and feces.  Boy did I cry out for a nurse, and a young man named Starling rushed in with a bucket of water and suds and assured me this happened all the time.  I later learned the doctor may have poked my intestines which caused the avalanche.  

This looks nice a nice view outside my bed, but I had to give this up and sleep in a chair a couple nights later

Tuesday morning, I was weak as hell (but cleaned up at least) when I met with the surgical team who would be removing my gall bladder.  They told me the procedure would be done laparoscopically.  Several inch long incisions would be made across my torso and belly (4 in total) then using cameras they'd go in and tug that monster out.

What they DON'T tell you is that they pump a ton of carbon dioxide gas into your belly to "swell you up", to have better access to things.  It is very painful and takes 2 months on average to return to normal.

My surgery was on Tuesday at 2pm.  They said it went well but I woke up in such horrendous pain I regretted having it.  They filled me up with IV bags of antibiotics and other solutions, I swallowed dozens of pills, but by Wednesday morning every inch of me hurt and I had a very high temperature, over 104F.  I was informed an infection had set in.

By Wednesday night, I felt like I was drowning.  I couldn't catch my breath.  A pulmonologist was brought in, ordered another CT-scan and said "You have post-op pneumonia."   She gave them new antibiotics to pump into me and said I'd have to sleep upright in a chair for awhile.  Here it is, 4 days later and I still cannot lie down.  

They wheeled in a special "hard seat" leather recliner, I sure could use one of those now.

Saturday afternoon, my surgeon came in my room and said "I know you're not in great shape and Pulmonology wants you to stay here awhile longer.  But I think you can heal faster at home.  We'll send you home with all the antibiotics and pain killers you need.  Do you have an upright recliner similar to this one for sleeping?"  I said I did not.  He said "I'm sure you'll figure something out. "

Mercy arranged for a cab to pick me up, and when it arrived I was still so weak a couple of orderlies had to lift me from my wheelchair and place me inside.  (That cab driver did not look happy.)  When I got home, I apologized profusely for the delay and took 10 minutes crawling out of his vehicle.  It took me nearly 20 minutes to get upstairs.

I shuffled into my apartment Saturday night, shocked how barren & plain everything looked.  I have some healthy savings, this place needs fixing up.  Anyway, I'd give anything in the world to lie down right now but when I do my chest gurgles and I can't breathe.  I sure hope this clears up soon.  I'm just glad I have plenty of groceries in the house (not that I have any appetite anyway).

They gave me a couple of breathing apparatus to exercise my lungs, and told me no baths and no lifting anything heavier than a gallon of milk for the next 2 months.  They also gave me a bag of blood thinners, water pills, antibiotics, Oxycodone.  I refuse to take any more of those opioids.

That's it for now.  Thanks for letting me share my story with you.  I am wiped out.

A few random images from a random Wednesday afternoon

Truth be told, I'm not really up for doing any writing right now.  But I wanted to put something new on here, just to say hello.  I hope everyone is doing well.

1. This morning's breakfast (and yes, I'm quite fond of black pepper).  I enjoy guacamole with everything.  

2. This is my sister Shawn & her husband Jim at a friend's wedding 2 weeks ago.  Speaking of weddings, these two recently celebrated their 26th anniversary on May 20.  They're the parents of my 21 year old niece Sophia, who recently returned from a trip to Italy.

3.  I signed up for a Netflix account this morning.  (I love Sally Field as much as I do my family.)  Do you know I was one of Netflix' first members in the 1990s? They had an obscure website advertising "We have over 500 dvds!"  Half of them were foreign and that's why I joined.

Anyway, I quit a long time ago but I'm anxious to check out what they have now.

4.  I'm so out of touch with things, I just noticed I never updated my wall calendar (on the right) from April and May is almost over.  Meanwhile, my dining room wall is pleading with me to hang some artwork on there.  I think I found something I like, more on that soon.

(My friend Patty saw the photo above and said I needed a third chair.  Here it is Patty, around the corner!)

5.  And finally, here's my early dinner.  I got the recipe for that macaroni & beef from a 1940s Readers Digest in my dentists office umpteen years ago.  It's made with cream of celery soup, ketchup and Worchester sauce and beats Hamburger Helper every time.  That's it for now, thanks for stopping by.  

A big setback.

I'm not in a good place right now.  I know I've been talking a lot about this long covid since it's return last September, and many of you have been kind and supportive.  It's been very much appreciated.  But it's especially difficult right now.

I've been living daily with varying degrees of discomfort, 3-4 on a scale of 1 to 10.  Not bad enough to prevent me from sitting on my living room floor and blogging, or doing mild exercises, or a walk to the store a couple times a week.  But enough to prevent me from going on long walks or family visits or meeting up with people.  They call it a "hermit's disease" for a reason.

But this past week it's been steadily building in symptoms.  I woke up Saturday morning in some severe distress, Sunday morning even worse.  (My head feeling like it's in a painful clamp, aching cheekbones.  Burning dry mouth.  Lots of inflammation.  My jaw muscles are swollen and hurt a lot.)   

I've been spending my time in my bedroom with the door shut and under a blanket with my tablet, listening to podcasts with old celebrities like Linda Blair, Barry Williams, Melissa Sue Anderson, Crystal Gayle.   I just have this strong need to hide away from everything, everybody.

I don't know how long this is going to continue.   I'm hoping it dies back down a bit and I can go back to posting blogs.  But right now I don't know if that's 3 days, 3 weeks or 3 months.

Just wanted to put it out there.  As always, thanks for listening.  

20 million people can't be wrong...

Things could be worse, but things could be so much better.  A couple days ago I tried going to the store (for some items I didn't really need, was just looking for an excuse to go somewhere) and couldn't do it.  Too much pressure in the temples and inflammation in the face.

It hurts to put on my eyeglasses and I cannot go outside without 'em.  

Tried again yesterday... nope.  So I went today (and here's my sore mug, trying to look normal) after coming home, and now my head and eyes are super hot and I am wiped out.  Just for a walk to the store and back.  

It's hard to believe, but this time a year ago I was finally showing signs of real improvement.  I was experiencing good days every 2-3 days.  By mid June things were mostly good.  I was 90% my old self and started visiting the senior center again.

I still waited 3 months before seeing a dentist in mid September for a couple cavities.  If I had known those shots of Novocaine would reactivate the long covid virus, I would've waited a year to get those fillings.  

(I only found out afterward that people recovering from long covid and undergoing dental work or injections to the head or face were experiencing full relapses.)

Anyway, since it's return this past September... it's like back to square one.  I get good moments here and there, but have yet to get any good days.  I worry this isn't going to get fully better anytime soon.  Just continuing to take things one day at a time.

Two nights ago, I was in my kitchen washing dishes and heard the term "long covid" on the news and came dashing into the living room to see who said what.  A health expert said the latest covid variants were showing less risk of developing into long covid, but it's estimated 20 million Americans are currently living with this condition.  They're known as silent sufferers, as they've stopped seeking medical treatment.  

It made me think of my first trip to the doctor in January 2024 and being misdiagnosed with a severe sinus infection.  I went back in February 2024, then to the ER in March then to a neurologist that summer.  After that, I knew no one had any answers.  

In all honesty, everything after 2023 seems like a dream.  Like none of this was meant to happen.  I guess a lot of people in car accidents or slip & falls say the same thing.  It just feels like this could've been so easily avoided.  I'll never know for sure.

And finally, a friend of mine noticed my post with Eve Plumb's book had gotten a lot of comments, and jokingly asked if I was becoming an 'influencer'.  I'm not even sure what that is.  She said if I was trying to sell the book on my blog by talking about it and getting a kickback, I had to disclose that.

No, I was just writing about it, that's all.  Meanwhile, have you tried these Ricola Lemon-Mint Drops?  Not only are they sugar free, they're made with natural ingredients, soothing Swiss herbs and the perfect oral anesthetic for someone like myself with inner cheek and oral inflammation.  I just love them. 😉

Meanwhile, on ApacheDug's Island.. there is meatloaf (finally) and Eve Plumb is paying a visit

Do you remember a few years ago (March 2023 to be exact) I blogged about getting a coffee table, as in should I or shouldn't?  Last night I was sitting here on the floor in front of my couch--my "island" in my apartment--wondering about it again.  I just like being down here, sitting cross-legged or legs stretched out.  It really helps prevent swollen feet and ankles.  

But I can't help wondering if it's time I got more civilized and got a table so guests will have somewhere to set their teacup down after I recover from this damn long covid and become social again.   

On the other hand... I've never been comfortable having more than one guest in my home at a time.  That will never change.  And I don't have any teacups. 

If need be, I have this sturdy hemp ottoman to set cups on, and a cool guest chair 

So what else... I finally decided to sully my sparkling oven with one of my big juicy meatloaves.  My cooking will never make it into Bon Appétit, but it was still pretty tasty.  I tossed in some baby carrots at the last minute.  I usually have corn or green beans with meatloaf, but these worked just fine.

Some chopped parsley for the potatoes and carrots would've been nice, but my meal was still good.  I put nearly half of this meatloaf in the freezer and still had plenty for meatloaf sandwiches this week. 

I was surprised at how little splatter there was in the oven, but in my ongoing effort to keep that shiny and clean, I wiped the insides down after it cooled.  I think I can keep it this way as long as I don't cook chicken or bacon in there.

And finally, look what I got today. I am such a hypocrite.  After I finished reading Jennifer Grey's book (her saucy autobiography) last week, I said "No more. My days on this planet are numbered, and there are better ways to spend my time than reading some tell-all from an actress who starred in one popular movie in the 1980s."

Then the very next morning while watching tv, I see Eve Plumb (who played middle child Jan Brady on The Brady Bunch) being interviewed on the Today show about her new book that just came out.  Another tell-all, another actress who starred in one popular tv show in the 1970s.

I said to heck with it, went online to Barnes & Noble to buy the ebook for my Nook, then changed my mind and paid the extra $5.00 and got the hard copy instead.

Why Doug, why?  I admit to having a thing for her, but that was 50 years ago.  Also, if I'd waited a couple years like I did with Grey's book, I probably could've saved a few bucks.  Oh well!

This one was different though.  I always related more to Jan than the other kids on the show.  I think a lot of people did.  

I do know when Jan was forced to get glasses (because she had to in real life) so did I, and I felt like we were kindred spirits.

Way back in 2015, I did a special "birthday blog" to Eve Plumb (with some pretty mental memes) you can check out here.

She also bears the distinction of being my last post on Facebook before I closed my account there in 2016.  I shared an article where Eve was donating her teenaged bedroom door to a pop culture art museum in California.  The door was covered top to bottom in 70s stickers and decals, and her parents left it that way, after she grew up and moved out. 

So I've just finished the first chapter of Eve's book, and it's a sweet and quiet read, nothing like Jennifer Grey's juicy word dive.  Eve writes she was a real surprise to her parents when she came along in 1958; they were in their forties and had a son and daughter in their mid-teens.  (She also says that aside from new carpeting, her parents kept the same paint, wallpaper, curtains and furniture in their home over 50 years, from 1950 to 2001.) 

There's lots of photos too, and Eve claims many of these have never been shared before.  I'm certainly looking forward to more of her story.

A puffy face, pioneer rigatoni and you've come a long way, Baby: Jennifer Grey in her own (sometimes dirty) words

I just got a haircut (which was long overdue) and I'm feeling downright civilized again.  I can't say I'm too happy with my puffy cheeks here, they are pretty sore and swollen right now.  But I suppose things could be worse.

This past Saturday was a mostly good day long covid wise, until sunset when the inflammation in my temples and cheeks sprang into action.  I awoke Sunday morning feeling better, only to have those same symptoms returning at noon and hanging around until 7pm before mysteriously vanishing.

Long covid is a strange and persistent animal, but I'm convinced I'm heading in the right direction.

Speaking of long covid, shortly after I was diagnosed in March 2024, I was filled with regret:  "If only I hadn't asked Typhoid Susie for that ride to Giant Eagle, I wouldn't have gotten infected..." 

I began watching videos on YouTube of people expressing regret for various things like getting bad tattoos (or worse, getting Lasik) to see how they cope, and that's when I saw an interview with actress Jennifer Grey, talking about her infamous nose job.  She said it changed her looks so much, Hollywood dropped her like a hot potato.  She said it was probably one of the worst decisions she'd made in her life.

The interview was for her book Out Of The Corner.  You know where that title came from, Patrick Swayze telling her father "Nobody puts Baby in a corner" in Dirty Dancing.

I put my name on the waitlist for the e-book at Carnegie Library, but after waiting two years, went on Barnes and Noble last week and bought my own copy for $7.99.

She doesn't waste any time getting down to the business at hand.  There's a 20 page prologue before Chapter One, where she discusses the surprise success of Dirty Dancing in 1987.  Why wasn't she being offered more acting roles?

She was convinced to get a minor nose job which made it fuller but less long (that's it on her book's cover).  She absolutely loved it and was soon offered a movie role right away.  But one year after that, cartilage began to grow on the tip of her nose.

When she returned to the same surgeon in 1990 to have it corrected, he went too far and she came out with a different face.

Filled with panic and despair, she was shocked to discover no one recognized her.  Invited to the Golden Globes, she approached other celebrities and was treated like a stranger.  Her plastic surgeon even admitted he'd never seen such a radical change in someone's features.

End of prologue.  The book is 310 pages long and I'm currently at the halfway point.  But for the first 140 pages it's only about her privileged upbringing, growing up with a celebrity father (Joel Grey) and living in big apartments in New York City or on the West Coast, in Malibu.  I'm not a prude by any means, but boy did she have a wild youth, especially her teenage years!  Everything is sex, cigarettes, booze, sex, "blow" (cocaine and she stresses she only snorted the primo stuff), more sex, Studio 54 while living with her fortysomething hairdresser at age 17 and getting every STD in the book.  

I never thought I'd say this, but frankly I'm sexed out.  Where's the acting career, the girl I fell in love with in Dirty Dancing?  Okay, I just started Chapter 21 where it's now 1984 and she lands her first acting gigs in The Cotton Club and Red Dawn.  Finally!  

I didn't know Jennifer was 18 months older than me, she just turned 66 in March.  Wow.  I can still remember my sister Shawn coming to visit me in 1987 and telling me we were going to see this movie Dirty Dancing.  Last night I watched it (probably for the first time in 30+ years) on Peacock and was surprised how charming it still was. 

EDIT:  I'm in the second half of Jennifer's book, discussing her acting career and backstories to Dirty Dancing, and it is much, much better.  She really is a good writer.

Finally, I thought I'd show you what I had for dinner Monday.  A couple weeks ago I decided to stop watching The Pioneer Woman's cooking show, but not before making her homemade pasta sauce and loving it.  She only uses crushed tomatoes (which I had a hard time finding, but got 2 generic cans), adding tomato paste, brown sugar, olive oil, garlic, peppers, basil & ground beef.  I cooked it for 2 hours and filled 4 freezer bags of the stuff, and added one of them to a pot of cooked rigatoni.

Throw in a garlic breadstick, some lettuce with some Bleu cheese dressing... yep. 😋

It's an old subject, but you have to look for hope where you can get it

This is a YouTube short, only 2-3 minutes long.  Shortly after I was diagnosed with long covid in March 2024, I began following this guy on YouTube, also wrestling with long covid.  He did everything under the sun trying to beat it.  A couple times he thought he did (like I did, last summer) only for it to come back.  

Anyway, he stopped posting videos a year ago--until this short this past week.  He says it took him 3 1/2 years, but he's now been symptom free for a year and feels he's made a full recovery.  I got the opportunity to talk to him and he was very understanding.

Mine has been ongoing for 2 1/2 years now.  A week or so ago I was feeling good 3 days in a row and just when I began to wonder if this was something encouraging to blog about, the symptoms returned.  But those good days and what he says below give me hope.

Thinking out Loud: The storm before the calm (well, I hope it's what it is)

Before I say anything else, can I offer a couple small apologies... my first is for another blog post with my big head at the top.  I just don't have much of an outside life at the moment.

The second is for the content that follows, which I'm sure is going to be more of the same old / same old.  I feel the need to write, but I don't really have anything to write about.

Ever since my long covid relapse last September (why) I've been dealing with "swollen face mornings", then inflammation in the eyes & mouth that subside a bit around sundown.  

A couple of ice packs or cold washcloths get me thru the night until bedtime at 11:30.

Last Friday (the same day I posted my movie blog) things went off course and there's been a lot of flare-up in both of my temples.  I'm trying to remain optimistic and hoping it's a looney last push of sorts before dying out completely.  

Would love to see it gone by summer, keeping my fingers & toes crossed.  I'd appreciate it if you could do the same. 😉

Y'know, it just occurred to me that I'm now the same age as my Grandma Morris was in this photo.  (Around 64 1/2 years old.)   

This was the night of my high school graduation in June 1979.  That's my Grandpap Morris in front, Grandma, myself, my beautiful Mom & my very dark Dad in the rear.  

Gosh this seems like a hundred years ago.  

Here's a strange little story.  For years my grandpap carried a little leather coin purse in his front pocket.  He passed away 3 years after this photo was taken, in October 1982.  (He was 71.)  

At the viewing the night before the funeral, I asked Grandma if I might have his coin purse after all was said & done and she said "Of course McDougall, Ace would love for you to have it."  

We parted company, and went off to talk to other friends and relatives.  A bit later, Grandma came over and took my hand, and pressed something into it.  I look down, it's Grandpap's coin purse.  I said "Aw, thanks Grandma!  I didn't know you had it with you."  She just smiled but didn't say anything.  She walked back over to Grandpap's open casket to talk to Uncle Kenneth (Grandpap's brother) and it hit me.  He always carried it with him.  

To this day I wonder if Grandma fished it out of Grandpap's pants pocket when no one was looking.  I'm pretty sure she did.

FYI, after I finished school and moved to the city, I carried it every day in my own pants pocket.  I'm retired now, and don't have much use for coins, but it still sits on my dresser next to my billfold.

Right now I'm waiting for someone from Maintenance to come to my apartment.  This past weekend, I had my kitchen window open and the wind was gusting in, and I had my window blind stretched out as I was trying to clean it when SNAP!  The string broke.

I reported it on Steiner's website, and was told to expect someone on Tuesday.  They said "You may be charged if a replacement blind is necessary."  

Charge me, charge me!  This blind has too many layers of grease & grime!

Well, I was just informed my guy is running a couple hours behind schedule and I'm starving, so I went ahead and prepared my Early Bird dinner.  

Pasta with dried herbs (basil & parsley) with ground turkey meatballs, steamed broccoli and chopped cocktail tomatoes.  Shaved parmesan cheese over everything.  It's pretty tasty stuff.

Finally, here's my new window blind--the timing couldn't have been more perfect, I'd just finished washing up my dinner dishes.  I thought I'd have to beg for a new blind, but Manley brought a new one with him.  I like this one, there's no drawstring--it's very sturdy and you just push it up, pull it down.

That's it for now--thanks for letting me share my day, everyone.