Friday, March 25, 2016

Still on that quest to drop 50 pounds, but I feel like I’m up against a wall

the wall


I’ve been feeling pretty discouraged today.  When I climbed on the scales this morning for my weekly weigh-in, I saw the exact same number I’d reported last week, right down to the same 2 tenths of a pound.  227.20, which was not only the same number as last week, but the week before that as well.  Three consecutive weeks at the exact same weight, how can that be?

It’s not like I’ve fallen off the fitness wagon & gone back to former staples like Coke, bacon and cake; in fact, the last couple weeks I’ve almost redoubled my efforts.  But I seem to be up against that dreaded “weight wall”. 

I guess I could look at it as keeping those hungry fat cells around my middle at bay; I’m sure they resent the 35 lbs loss there & will do just about anything to get those cuddly inches back.  (Sorry fellas, but I don’t want to be carrying that extra tire around again.)   Still, what’s this going to take?

I thought I’d get on here and write down everything I’m doing wrong but guess what—I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING WRONG.  So here’s what I’ve been doing right!

1.  Until last summer, I drank a 20 oz. bottle of Coke a day.  Every single day. 

It’s now been 10 months since I’ve tasted a Coke.  I allow myself an 8 oz. glass of grapefruit soda once a week.

2.  Monday thru Friday breakfast used to be a cup of coffee & a pair of donuts, or a giant muffin or a couple of those godawful Lil’ Debbie snack cakes.

I haven’t eaten a donut, pastry or snack cake in 8 months;  I now enjoy a cup of coffee and a pear, banana, or apple.  I’m partial to pears.

3.  Saturday breakfast was 2-3 fried eggs, bacon or fried ham, and 2-3 slices of buttered toast.  Sundays were pancakes or french toast, and more bacon.

My weekend breakfast is now one scrambled egg & a sliced tomato.  (I still have 2 slices of toast on Saturday.)

4.  I used to pat myself on the back if I went 2 days in the same week without red or processed meat.

Now I’m surprised if I HAVE red or processed meat twice in one week.  I eat chicken, tuna or no meat at all.

5.  I never drank plain water, I mean NEVER. 

Since last summer I drink 32 oz. of water daily.  Every single day. 

6.  Walking was my only exercise.

I still walk, but for 6 months I’ve been working out a solid 45 minutes, 4-5 days a week.

Also, I can’t remember the last time I’ve eaten fast food and I haven’t eaten a single cookie or piece of candy since Christmas—and I’m okay with that!  But gosh darn it, for all the exercise I do... 

Grrr!  Baring teeth smile

So I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here, or even IF I’m doing something wrong.  Why did I stop losing after 35 lbs?  Am I eating too much still?  Not enough?  I can’t promise to step up my game, because I’ve stepped up about as far as I can go.  My one failing is sleep, I know how important that is for weight loss.  Problem is, I can’t seem to do it more than 5 1/2, 6 hours a night.  I tried giving up afternoon naps and going to bed earlier, but I’m still unable to fall asleep before midnight, or stay zonked past 5:30-6am.  

It’s ironic that sleeping in is the one luxury I can afford now, if only my middle-aged body would oblige.  So for now, I guess I have no choice but to keep doing whatever it takes to catch up to that skinnier me.  I just wish I didn’t feel like Wile E. Coyote chasing the Road-Runner.  I know just how he feels.splat

Friday, March 11, 2016

I’ll let you in on a secret: Here’s the Top Ten Things I’m afraid to share on Facebook

unknown apache


I’ll admit it, I probably visit Facebook at least 3-4 times daily.  That doesn’t mean I get on there & hang out for an hour, or post goofy memes or funny tidbits about my day or other clever things.  I just like to check in and see if someone else has—you know, posted clever things.  I’m usually disappointed.

Doesn’t that sound snarky?  I suppose I’m just in one of those moods. 

Anyway, while I can probably count on one hand the number of posts I’ve made on Facebook in the last 3 months, I’m not a TOTAL troll;  I ‘like’ and comment on my friends stuff all the time! 

Meanwhile, the wheels in my middle-aged brain are creakily spinning with thoughts I’d like to share—if I didn’t care what anyone else thought, that is.  Thankfully I have this personal blog where I can share these things, so in no particular order….

1. “I voted for Barack Obama in 2008 & 2012, and if Hillary Clinton is the Democratic nominee in 2016, I’ll vote for her too.”


It’s no secret, and if someone asks I’ll proudly ‘fess up.  But gosh there’s a lot of Hillary-haters and Obama-slammers on Facebook, so I’ll just keep my trap shut & scroll past all the sexist & racist comments about these two from all the people who I suspect are racist or sexist.  Or both.  They’re probably both.

2.  “For chrissakes, if you don’t have the answer then why are you sharing this??”


“Bet no one will get this!”   YOU’RE RIGHT,  BECAUSE THE CORRECT ANSWER IS NEVER REVEALED.  NEVER.  So what’s the point?  What?  WHAT??

3.  “I do--I remember you sharing this same photo of a 1950’s Coke machine exactly 3 weeks ago”

Yes its an old Coke machine

And a month before that, and I think you posted this in November 2015 too.  Don’t you remember?  It’s a great photo, but I suspect you have Alzheimer’s.

4.  “Pretty, pretty, pretty.  Boring, boring, boring.”


Everyone likes photos, and I won’t deny these are nice, but all you have to do is google ‘beach sunset’ to see a zillion of them.  Photos of people or pets or events or landmarks on Facebook are much more interesting.

“But Doug, I live in the South & I want to remind all my loser friends up north that while they’re scraping slush and fighting frostbite, this is what I see every day.  Every—single—day.”  

Oh, okay—now I get it.  My bad! 

5.  “For the love of God, please stop ramming your religion down my throat!”


I know that having the son of God in your corner makes you deliriously happy, and it’s your religious duty as a Christian to spread the word and convert some of us heathens in the process.  BUT TELLING ME TO TYPE AMEN OVER & OVER AGAIN IS NOT THE WAY TO DO IT.  

It’s one thing to have faith, but this overzealous behavior is freaky & cult-like, and you need to hand in your iphone and go live on a compound.  Take care and God bless.

6.  “I think most of you gun-owners are gun-happy and should be stripped of your firearms.”


Actually, I did speak my mind once—after one of those awful school shootings.  My sister-in-law promptly let me have it, and gave me a public tongue-lashing.  She said “We should make heroin illegal too, so people stop overdosing—oh wait, we did!”  I thought that was poor justification for letting just about anyone own a personal arsenal, but out of respect for her & my brother I dropped it. 

But the number of gun-deaths in this country speak for themselves.  Unfortunately it falls on deaf ears.

7.  “Okay, I confess I get bored sometimes--but I looove not working.”

Monday Monday

I can’t remember the last time I set my alarm clock, I’m no longer filled with a sense of dread on Sunday nights & I report to NO ONE.  But given all the “I hate Mondays” memes on Facebook each week, people don’t need to hear it.  Have a good day at work, guys.  I mean it.

8.  “You should share this with the guys at your next Klan meeting—not your old schoolmates.”

hater talk

There’s no excuse for this—none.  If you really feel this way, you should keep it to yourself because you’re coming across as a white supremacist.  Is that what you’re shooting for here?  

9.  “It’s none of my business, but you drink like a fish!”

yay drinks

Actually, you’re making it my business when I see your cocktails on my newsfeed week after week.  I’m not a Prohibitionist, I enjoy seeing photos of friends with their friends out on the town, swiggin’ back a few.  Yay for good times.  But what’s with all these close-ups of your liquor?  We get it, you love to drink!

“Doug are you calling me an alcoholic?  Cuz I swear to God, I’ll bust your ass!”

I know that’s the booze talking.  Get back to me when you sober up.

10.  “Hey everyone, just wanted to share my latest blog”

heh heh

The last time I posted a link to my blog where I wrote about hiding out from a blind person I haven’t seen in 20 plus years I got a real earful from a couple hens who didn’t exactly appreciate my sharing that story.  I’m not making that mistake again!tpsymbol

Saturday, March 5, 2016

Tilla says provolone works just the same—um, I sure hope so


Friday, 11:45 am.  I’m at the little market up the street from my apartment, in line at the deli counter.  While Bob slices the meats & cheeses, an eldely woman named Tilla calls out “Next!” and takes care of the various salad (egg, potato & pasta) orders. 

“Who’s next?  Hey Buster!  Whaddya want, a job?  I just work here, I don’t do any of the hiring.  Come back in an hour when the owner gets back from lunch.  Heh heh!”

We’re not exactly on a first-name basis, but I’ve been a customer here for a long time and Tilla’s an ornery character who enjoys teasing me about not having a job.  When I began showing up in the middle of the day a year ago, she asked why I wasn’t coming in after work anymore.  When I told her I was giving early retirement a try, she raised her eyebrows but didn’t say anything.  But ever since, when she sees me she likes to have a little fun.  Whatever!

Haha, thanks Tilla… can I have a 1/2 pound of the mozzarella?

Bob, you get that?  Huh?  Whups, he says he’s fresh out of the mozzarella.  You want another cheese?  How about some of this pasta salad, we just made it.

No thanks, I’ll try again next time.  Nice seeing you!  I pick up a jar of Prego sauce, a carton of breadcrumbs & some bread.  As I head to the checkout, Tilla yells “Whaddya need that cheese for?”  I yell back chicken parmesan.  She tells me to come back over.

We can fix you up, we’ll slice you some provolone. 

That’s okay, I’ll just go to Kuhn’s.

You don’t need to do that!  Provolone works just the same, melts just the same.  The only difference is provolone slices are round & mozza is square, can you handle that?

Haha!  Are you sure?  I’m not exactly a great cook y’know… you better just give me 6-7 slices.

You can trust me, Buster.  Hey you want a slice of birthday cake?  Don’t worry Mr. Moneybags, it’s free.  Today’s my birthday, I just hit the big 7-0!

Aw, happy birthday!   Hmm, I guess I can handle a slice…

Here y’go, here’s a fork.  So tell me, are you really early-retired?  

Yep!  Well… to be honest, I don’t know.  I have all my money tied up in the stock market, lost a big chunk in 2015 and then another 15% just a few months ago.  If it drops anymore… I don’t want to think about it.

Huh.  We have something in common, you know.  I retired at the same age as you.

Really?  How come you’re working here?  Just to keep busy?

Oh yeah—I was bored!  You know the Verizon building over on South Balph?

Sure, I live about 10 houses down from it.


I worked there 30 years, when it was Bell Telephone.  In 2000 I figured I had enough invested and did just what you did.  Told them I had enough of the business and I left.

So what happened?

We had that big crash.  Do you remember that?  The big crash in the stock market in 2000?

I didn’t own much stock then, but I remember… that lasted about 3 years.

Yep!  And I lost everything in about 3 years too.

Tilla, how?  Even if the value of your stocks dropped, you still owned the shares.  It took long enough but they climbed back up.

I had one of those guys.. a stockbroker?  He managed all that for me—he’d tell me he was selling this, buying that, he was always sending me stuff in the mail to look over.. I figure he was trying his best.  

You know that’s how they make their money--every time they sell this or buy that with your portfolio…

Well he told me 3 years in, ‘Tilla it’s all gone.’  So I got another job, then another…. and then I wound up here.  The owner says I can retire when I’m 85, I told him not to get my hopes up.  Heh!

God!  I sure am sorry you lost everything.  That is so not right! 

Tell me about it.  I’m just warning you, you could be back on the job like me when you’re 60.  Do you have a good financial manager?

Tilla, I don’t have one. 

Then how do you expect to make any money?? 

Just letting things ride and keeping my fingers crossed I guess… thanks for the cake… hope you have a nice birthday.

You’re welcome, but dont come back lookin’ for more free handouts!  Heh heh!