This photo is from early May, 1970. That’s my younger brother Steve in the red & white stripes (holding a paddleball), my older brother Duke in the glasses and yellow & navy shirt, our cousin Mark over for a visit and holding our dog Bone, my sister Shawn holding our sister Donda-Lin.
That’s me in the red shirt in the back, feeling a bit shell shocked and maybe I’m looking at my younger sister with some resentment, I can’t remember.
Right around the time this picture was taken, Mom & Dad told us that our sister Donda-Lin was getting too big for her crib, and Shawn’s tiny bedroom wasn’t big enough for another bed; so we’d be moving to an older but bigger house in the country. Everyone seemed fine with it, except for me.
Anyway, I was just thinking that Mom was 29 years old when she snapped this photo. And with 5 kids. And she wasn’t through yet. How she did it is beyond me.
Speaking of moms, my new neighbor Sharon (I’ll be writing more about her in my next blog) told me she’d recently lost her mom, who was 91 years old. This is such a strange, sad coincidence. This past month, my friend & former coworker Lisa lost her mom, also in her 90s. My blogger friend Margaret of Stargazer lost her mom, in her 90s. My friend Robin from Canada just lost her beautiful mom, also in her 90s.
I can’t help but wonder, is it easier when you lose your mother at such an older age? I lost my own when she was only 64. It wasn’t sudden, we knew her end was coming, but it was still far too young for her to go.
Speaking of sisters, my youngest sister Courtney (who isn’t in that photo above, she wouldn’t be born for another 5 years) just turned 50 years old on July 2. She lives in Ohio now with her husband Robert, and has a pretty successful business doing first aid training in the corporate sector.
I can still remember the shock I felt when Mom announced she was pregnant for her—how was it possible? She was an old lady with 5 kids, she was 34 years old!
Anyway, Court was delighted to get her “welcome letter” from AARP, indicating she’s officially getting up there in years. I remember when I got mine 14 years ago and wrote about it here. Dammit, now I really am old.
I’m also grouchy, I’ve been trying not to talk about it but I’m still dealing with inflammation issues from long covid. (Right now the center of my face feels like a bad sunburn, and the inside of my mouth is very, very sore.) I get 3-4 days of feeling fine, then 3-4 days of this crap.
A couple days ago at the senior center, I got a few raised eyebrows when I announced I was meeting up with some high school girls this week for an outing. I had to clarify that, I’m meeting up with my friend & former classmate Diana, and our former classmates Ruth Ann & Renee, for a visit to a local conservatory and then lunch.
I haven’t seen Diana since 2023. I haven’t seen Ruth or Renee since 1979!
At least I HOPE it happens. I really need this stuff in my face to quiet down. I’m a real barrel of laughs today, aren’t I…
Well, I know I didn’t have a lot to say or share here but I just wanted to put something new-of-sorts out there; frankly that photo of Connie & myself in my last blog was getting a little old. I hope everyone had a nice Farce of July, and as always, thanks for dropping by.
I've got the pre-marriage pictures of my mom and dad. Mom was 19 and my dad was 24. If they were alive today, mom would be 95 and my dad 100. I find myself disbelieving how fast the years fly by. My mother passed at 92. It is funny but I never felt old until my mom passed. Even my body has slowed down.
ReplyDeleteI hope your long Covid gets shorter. Covid was not the simple illness so many have made it out to be.
Thank you Ann, and yes the years sure do fly by! You're very fortunate, having your mom into her 90s. I hope they were good years for her.
DeleteMy mom was only 69 when she died. She had heart disease and numerous heart attacks. I still miss her, all these years later. Something will get us Doug. Hope your Long Covid will bite the dust.
ReplyDeleteThanks DJan, I'm very sorry you lost your own mom so young... to be honest, I think of you everytime I eat a hamburger. (Knowing your own family's heart history.) I really need to cut back.
DeleteI was 52 when my mother died. It was hard, mostly because she was a very angry woman, and I always thought we'd get a chance to resolve things, but we didn't. She was still mad at me on her death bed.
ReplyDeleteOmigosh Debby, I am so sorry. I had something similar with my dad's passing, unresolved issues, but moms are different. Thanks for sharing.
DeleteWhen my mom died, it made me the oldest relative on that side of the family. I was 52 and my mom was 76. We were so close, spoke on the phone at least once a day. It has been over 17 years and I still wish several times a day that I could reach out and call her again.
ReplyDeleteI was 29 with 5 kids too! I also wonder how I did handled that!!!
I am sorry you are still dealing with this horrible crud. Hoping you feel better for your mini class reunion.
Thanks very much Miss Merry... I certainly can relate, I was really close to my own mom as well and spoke often on the phone (but not everyday). I think you and my mom deserve trophies for being moms of so many kids before you were 30!
DeleteIt’s never easy to lose a mother no matter what your age. Mum died at age 72 (far too young) in 1980 when I was 35. Even though I was prepared for it, it was still a shock.
ReplyDeleteDad lived to 83, dying in 1987.
Incidentally, both grandmothers lived to 91, both dying the same year – 1970, the year of your photo. I turned 25 that year, 4 years younger than your mum.
Thanks for sharing Peter, this was a sad but interesting read. I enjoyed the link you sent me to your old music column, with the photo of yourself from 70. You looked like a happy, good natured hippie! 🙂✌️
DeleteDug, you don't look happy in that picture (something was definitely on your mind). And I had 3 kids by the time I was 28 and thought (at the time) that after 3, it wouldn't matter how many more... you stayed pretty busy anyway (ha!). My original plan was to have 9... can you believe? Apparently your mom did really well.
ReplyDeleteAs for mom's dying, mine passed at 94. And I think losing your mom at any age is difficult (although I do think it's got to be a lot harder on young children).
BTW, how was the conservatory? Did you take pictures?
Also... hope that inflammation went away (and never comes back)!
Rian, I honest to God remember not being happy in that picture--I just can't remember why! Your comments are always so funny & kind, thanks for being such a dear friend. Your original plan to have 9 kids--haha :^) Thanks for sharing, and for the kind wishes. FYI, the observatory trip is in a couple days, but I'm hoping to get pics.
DeleteI don't know how anyone could manage 5 kids either; I could barely handle TWO. Losing a parent at an elderly age is more peaceful and certainly expected, but you've had them a long time and start to think they might just keep going on and on. I talked with my mom every day, sometimes several times and saw her nearly every day, spending a lot of time with her. We were best friends and she understood me and accepted me like no other person. That's what makes it so hard. It was her time to go; she had multiple organ failure and couldn't have continued. But it still hurts and I miss her. Doug, I'm so angry that you're still dealing with this long covid. Horrible! I can't wait to hear about your high school get together and hope it happens. Take care, my friend!
ReplyDeleteMargaret I hope you see this and thanks very much for sharing. I know you had a very close relationship with your own mom, as your readers knew from your wonderful blog. So I knew your recent loss probably hit you hard. I appreciate your kind thoughts here (and your angry ones regarding this infernal post-covid stuff) and I look forward to sharing that get-together :^)
DeleteI really like that picture. I like looking at pictures. I noticed the plant on the tv with the plastic eggs..you said summer but was it Easter? I’m 55 and got an AARP letter too but I tossed it..not for me..my dad asked my grandfather once..my moms dad..now that’s he retired why doesn’t he go to the senior center and hang out there..and my grandfather answers..why? That’s where all the old people are..it was funny even tho I know all senior centers are different…I sorta take after my grandfather..my mom died in 2008 at 65 from a quick bout of lung cancer..and my dad died in 2016 at 76 from leukemia that we are convinced he got from working in a nuclear power plant in the late 60s.. I miss them dearly..and I was really missing my mom today when I read your post..the one thing I wanted most was to be with them again without so much drama going on in my life..brought on by the ex love of my life boyfriend..but I guess that was not meant to be..
ReplyDeleteBeth
Thank you Beth, and you are very observant. I do think this photo was taken shortly after Easter, before the start of summer. I'm so sorry about the early loss of your own mom, and your funny grandfather makes a good point about those centers--I felt uncomfortable when I first started going, but I quickly made a lot of real friendships there, that you stop looking at ages. But I enjoy the restaurant outings every month most of all. :^) I am sorry for the heartache you continue to feel and I hope you can move on from that.
DeleteGood morning Doug. Wow, I just noticed the painting "Waltz" on the side bar of your blog. I love it! I had never heard of her. I did a bit of a search; here work is at the Museum of Modern Art in NYC. I plan on being in NYC next month to visit my favorite museums; I will definitely look for her work. I love impressionist paintings.
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping that your long covid improves with time. Neurological chronic conditions are the worst! Hang in there Doug. And thanks for your blog posts are always interesting!
Carole
Good morning Carole and thanks so much for noticing that artwork in my sidebar! I don't know a lot about her, but I do enjoy checking out Native American artists, saw this one recently and it just struck my fancy. Thanks for the good hopes (much appreciated) and that's exciting, your NYC trip. I hope you see more of this woman's work.
DeleteHi Doug, thanks for mentioning my Mum’s passing, I appreciate it. Mum was very tired and ready to go. She missed my Dad so much (16 years) and was looking forward to seeing him again. Chuck’s mom passed when she was only 54, way too young. I still reach for the phone to call Mum and then remember. I am so sorry you are dealing with this darn long Covid. I hope you are able to get together with your high school friends! Take care.❤️❤️
ReplyDeleteRobin
Hi Robin, I'm so glad to hear from you--thanks for letting me include your mom here, you know how much I liked those photos your shared of her (and you kids) on your own blog. And that was very sweet about your mom wanting to see your dad again. Chuck's mom, only 54... so unfair. Thank you for the LC words, at least there are good days now. And I'm looking forward to sharing my school friends on here soon. :^)
DeleteGlad to see you posting frequently even while still dealing with that miserable covid. Being an only child, I enjoy hearing about life in big families. Both my parents died at 89 and frankly, it was time, but, then, both had dementia. It would've been much harder for me had they gone sooner, I believe, but sometimes I wonder. Your mom was very pretty, and hardly old at 34, even with 5 kids. I always think of country singer Loretta Lynn, who was a grandmother at 34! I remember reading that years ago, and thinking it was a misprint, but it was quite true. Still strange to me!
ReplyDeleteThe pic of you and Cussin' Connie was very nice and I hope you enjoy the outing with your high school pals, I look forward to hearing about it!
Hi Bobi, it's great to hear from you. Gosh I can't help but think that's both sad & amazing, your parents both living to 89 but passing from dementia as well, I am so sorry. I also didn't know you were an only child. You're right about my own mom being hardly old at 34, but that was coming from the mind of a 13 year old in 1974-75. :^) Anyway, amazing about Loretta Lynn (sure do love her) but she was a child bride herself And thank you for the kind words about me & Cussin' Connie, and i hope I hear from you again soon. :^)
DeleteI am at that age when I find myself thinking about death a lot. We are all moribund, aren't we? I look forward to dying, because I'll be taking a 1-way trip to Hell. I look forward to talking to Hitler and Jeffrey Dahmer (the cannibal). I think they're much more interesting than St. Peter and St. Paul.
ReplyDeleteGigi, what the--!! I appreciate the interesting thoughts you shared here, but I sure hope you don't truly believe that! I think you've earned your way into Christian Heaven :^)
DeleteI hope your flare up is over by the time you and the high school girls get together. I'm sure I would have looked a wee bit shocked too at that description...but it all makes sense now.
ReplyDeleteCool photo of your family! My mom had four children, the last three (I'm the oldest of those) in just over 3 years. She was 33 when my youngest brother was born. I'm not sure if it isn't easier to have children when one is young, presumably with more energy, or later when one hopefully has more patience.
Thanks so much Maebeme, I'm always so glad to hear from you. Well, it sounds like you had one busy mom as well! But that's a great question about younger vs older moms. We all saw how much more mellow & understanding our parents were with our youngest sister compared to the rest of us.
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ReplyDeleteI am so blessed to discover this. thank you