Dumb but True Stories, Vol. 3: All I need now is a shawl and a Tweety-Bird

Recently I told my friend Diana that it was time to start living vicariously, and when she asked what I meant by that, I said that after years of eating only Corn Chex I was going to try every flavor of Chex cereal available at the market.

Wheat Chex, Chocolate Chex, Honey Nut Chex, Peanut Butter Chex, Cinnamon Chex, Blueberry Chex.  (There's also a Strawberry Vanilla Chex, but it's not at my store.)

I have to say I enjoyed both the Chocolate Chex and Peanut Butter Chex cereals very much.  

It was only after I finished both boxes that it occurred to me, why didn't I have a bowl of both cereals mixed together?  "Hey, you got your chocolate in my peanut butter!"  "Well, you got your peanut butter on my chocolate!"

Remember those old Reese's Peanut Butter Cup commercials from the '70s?

Anyway, the Blueberry Chex was last on my list.  After having a bowl, I called Diana and told her I felt sort of funny.  She asked what I meant.  I said I had an overwhelming urge to wrap a shawl around my shoulders, buy a tweety bird and take up knitting.  The cereal made me feel like Granny from those old Warner Bros cartoons.

Diana asked what the ingredients of the cereal were.  I said "The others are hearty corn or wheat.  This one is rice lace, dusted with Blueberry Powder and Rosemary Extract.  If that doesn't sound like little old lady ingredients, then I don't know what does."

While Diana rolled her eyes, I shivered and told her I had to go.  I wanted to make a hot cup of tea and watch my story, then look at old photos and organize my pill bottles.

Not wanting to be a Grannydug again anytime soon, I went back to my regular Corn Chex (and Grape Nut Flakes, that's been my favorite since I was 12).  But a couple days ago, I was at the store in the cereal aisle, and saw the Blueberry Chex, and told myself "Just buy the darn cereal Doug, it's not made for grannies only."  

I headed up front and got in Jessie's aisle (the 21 year old checker who likes to tease and call me 'Boomer', I wrote about her before here).

Jessie smiled at me, and asked how my day was going.  She's a nice young woman.  When she got to the Blueberry Chex, she said "Oh, you'll really like this."  I said "Do you like it?"   She said "No I've never tried it.  But it's the only cereal my grandmother eats, she loves it!"  

I can't believe it, again: Five recent things with surprise happy endings

Shortly after I posted my last post "I can't believe it, 7 recent things" a few good things happened to me and I just wanted to share.

1.  I think YouTube was eavesdropping, but that's okay

This past Friday night I was sitting quietly on my couch reading, when the text alert sounded on my phone.  I jumped to grab it, and do you see that yellow cup with juice on the right?  That's where a cup of hot coffee was, and I knocked it over, splattering the carpet below.

I had a 12" round, dark brown coffee stain on my carpet.  I blotted up as much as I could with paper towels, sprayed it with Resolve Carpet Cleaner, scrubbed it... went to bed.

When I got up Saturday morning, there was a 12" round rust colored stain on the rug.  Oh no!  I googled "large coffee stain on carpet" and AI suggested I make a baking soda paste, smear it on the stain, spray it with vinegar & water.  I did all this, the stain remained.

I decided to take a break from that damn spot and watch some tv.  I clicked on the YouTube channel.  The FIRST thing I saw was "How professionals remove rug stains".  How did they know??  A man demonstrated spraying a stain with 3% Hydrogen Peroxide, placing a wet kitchen hand towel over the affected carpet and "ironing it away" with a steam iron set on High.  I did that and look above.  My stain is gone.  Thank you YouTube, you saved my carpet and I never even asked.

2.  I'll tumble for ya 

After I finished admiring my rug, I jumped in the shower.  I dropped the soap, and when I bent down to pick it up, felt my left foot slide forward and did a literal flip in the tub, smashing the guard on the side of my tub and literally flying out of it.  My head smacked into the side of my toilet, knocking it over, water gushed everywhere.  I landed on my back on the floor with a really loud SLAP, face up, heart racing, out of breath.  

And aside from a slight scratch on one leg, I am fine. (I righted the toilet, Steiner is coming to inspect the "o" ring and replace the water guard.) 

It was such a hard fall, I could've easily gotten a concussion, deep laceration, broken a limb or even my back.  I just got up and walked away.

3. Curse you Xfinity!  Thank you Xfinity!

On Friday I saw a commercial for a couple of movies premiering on Peacock this week, and wondered if I should sign up.  I'm already a regular subscriber to HBO Max & Paramount Plus, I don't want to pay for a third streaming service.

I jumped on my Xfinity account (it's how I get my internet) and saw I had a couple messages alerting me I was a "Platinum" member now, I should check out my perks.  Yes Xfinity, I know all about your so called perks, I'll pass.  Unable to find any deals for Peacock, I clicked on the "Your Perks" message out of curiosity and saw a mobile phone discount, yawn--and an offer for Peacock Premium, for free.  I contacted Customer Service.  For real?  Yep!

4. The folks at Falk Pharmacy are life savers

Last Saturday there was a fat yellow envelope in my mailbox from Falk Pharmacy in downtown Pittsburgh.  (Since Rite-Aid closed in my neighborhood, I get my prescriptions delivered thru the mail now, from Falk.)  I opened the envelope, it's a refill of the Amlodipine I take for high blood pressure.

Why'd they send these? I didn't request a refill, I've got plenty of pills upstairs.  I call them up, the pharmacist said that according to his records I was down to 5 pills and with a big winter storm on the way, I may not have mail delivery anytime soon.  I said thank you, hung up and chuckled to myself.  Worry warts, when did we ever go without mail?  I check my old bottle, oops--only 5 pills in there.  He was right.  And later that night, a foot of snow.    

And because of our city's snowplow shortage, we didn't have mail delivery for a week.  Falk, you are one awesome pharmacy.  

5. Speaking of good folks...

I somehow managed to find some great people online to look at my blog and read my latest post, and you are one of them.  Thank you.

I can't believe it... 7 recent things I can't believe

1.  I can't believe they released a new Star Trek series on Paramount Plus that I can't bring myself to watch.  I've been a devoted Star Trek fan over 50 years, gobbled up everything with the Trek logo (including some real stinkers in the mix).  But this is beyond saving.  I barely made it thru the first two episodes, it's so bad.  I hope that Paramount puts it out of it's misery, it makes JJ Abrams version of Trek (which was crap) look almost genius in comparison.

2.  I can't believe Melania Trump produced a movie about.. herself?  (I've since learned this thing is a big flop.  Now THAT I can believe.)

3. I can't believe I haven't been in a movie theater since 2013.  I love movies, from the late 1960s thru the 1990s I probably went to the theater once a week.  But I learned a dozen years ago I don't need a big screen--movies at home on my own tv are the best.  (I tend to hit that pause button a lot.)

4.  Speaking of TVs, I can't believe I bought a new one a few months back and it only cost me $233.00, taxes & delivery included.  I also can't believe it's considered small and has a 45" screen.  In 1978 I was working at The Pancake House and saving my money to buy a 13" color tv for $299.00.

But at $2.25 an hour, I ultimately decided it was too expen$ive for my wallet and bought a 13" b&w television instead.

5.  I can't believe it took me 25 minutes to walk to Kuhn's Market yesterday (normally a 10 minute walk).  But since that monster snowfall last weekend, temps have remained in the subzero and single digits and the city discovered 37 of their 80 snow trucks weren't operational.  So my little borough has remained buried in the snow.

I also can't believe UPMC Health Plan just donated $10 million to the city to buy new snow trucks.  It's very generous, but they're notorious for underpaying their employees--which is why UPMC workers are always striking and on the news. 

6.  I can't believe my 69 year old neighbor Dee knocked on my door earlier today and asked if I'd send a text to her pharmacy confirming her prescription number & address.  When I asked if her phone was broken, she said "No I got it right here honey.  But I never done a text before.  You probably think I'm a dinosaur, don't you?"  No Dee, I don't.  I'm fairly new to texting myself, around 2 years now.  But I hardly use it, I'm not a fan.

7.  I can't believe Catherine O' Hara is gone.  So sharp, so wicked funny.  She was only 71 years old.  I'm still adjusting to Olivia Newton John's demise, and she's been gone since 2022.  She was only 73.

Rest in peace, Catherine.  Gosh I loved you so much.