Saturday, January 2, 2010

Resolutions for a Shiny New Year in 2010

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When I was a kid, New Years Day had almost the same anticipation & surprise as Christmas.  As Dad was a popular country rock artist, he was always in demand on New Years Eve (he claimed it was his best paid gig of the year).  Mom always went along too, dressed to the nines and looking glamorous.  We never really knew what went on at these annual events, but we'd come downstairs New Years morning--unlike Christmas, Mom and Dad would still be upstairs asleep--and the livingroom would be awash in assorted party hats of all shapes and sizes, noisemakers and horns and party favors and other surprises. 

(God bless Mom, who took the time to gather up the best of that festive junk, come home & redecorate the downstairs before trudging off to bed, knowing she'd have to 're-live the night' the next day.  I even suspect this is one of the reasons she always went along.)

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Dad & Mom, early 70s, in their heyday

While those days of 'after-party merrymaking' are long gone, I admit I still get a small tinge of excitement about the day & what lies ahead for the year.  I've spent half my life arguing that New Years resolutions are nothing but a waste of time, just a glorified way of putting off the things you should be doing right now.  And then January 1 rolls around, and it really does seem like you have a fresh new start.  So in the spirit of things, here are my New Year Resolutions for 2010:

1. Buy bigger pants or drop twenty pounds.   I have to stop talking about it and just do it. 

2. Stop hiding from the future.  When I was younger, I embraced technology; Walkmans!  Movies on laserdisc!  DVDs?  Doable!  But right around the time I turned forty, I began to get leery of all the newfangled gadgets out there.  Ipods?  Instant text messaging?  Digital cable?  Plasma TV?  I finally decided to join the 21st century & bought a flat panel tv on Black Friday, but have yet to hook it up.   What am I waiting for?

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"Doug, where'd you put your new tv?" "um...in the bedroom"

 

 

 

3.  Shave my head or find a safer place to get a haircut.   This is easier said than done, given my small neighborhood.  But my barber (an Italian guy who fell right out of an episode of 'The Sopranos') is apparently converting his shop into a gambling den and a place for all the local wannabe mobsters to hang out; gold necklaces & leather coats abound, along with plenty of 'dis', 'dat' and 'your mudduh'. 617D5C2B848A9C67_5349_3[1]

 

I waited over two hours to get THIS yesterday, & when I sprang up from the chair in shock, my barber said "Aw shit, sorry Doug!  I thought you were Dickie, dat's Dickie's cut--don't he look like Dickie, fellas??"  I look like a dickie, alright.   No more!

 

 

4.  I've got a beef--wth beef.   I wish I could say I was going all the way & becoming a vegetarian, but the simple truth is I am a carniwhore.  However, every year I hear the same thing:  the less red meat you eat, the longer you live.  Okay, I can do this.  As long as there's still pizza, KFC & Hostess Fruit pies--I can do this.

5.  Books and Music.   I don't need to watch so much TV.  Tiger Woods, Jon & Kate & Octomom no longer surprise me, and I could care less about Charlie Sheen or Ugly Betty.  I've also seen every episode of The Andy Griffith Show on TVLand too many times to count, so why is that contraption always on?

6.  Project Tuesdays.  There's a hole in the wall above my toilet, new drapes need shopped for, & new pictures for the walls.  I want a new bookcase.  The smoke alarm should be replaced, my bedroom doorknob is broke.  Gee, it seems like a lot needs done... what if I tackled just ONE thing a week?  I hereby dub Tuesdays as Project Tuesdays.  

7.  Spend more time with loved ones.  I'm looking at the picture at the top of this blog of my sweet niece Sophie.  This is a no brainer. 

.    .    .    .

Well, I actually had a dozen or so more--but one of my resolutions last year was to stop sharing so much drivel!  So thanks for reading, take care & Shawn, your suggestion for the ABBA song to play along here turned out to be just what I needed. 

Thank you & Happy New Year, Everyone!  

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1 comment:

  1. thanks...I just woke up George 'cuz I'm laughin so hard!!! (the poor thing doesn't understand why I must go tee-peeing every night after he falls asleep)

    ReplyDelete

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