There are very few things that surprise me these days; one of the nice things about getting old is you’ve pretty much seen and heard it all. Oh, life still has it’s moments—a few years back when my sister Shawn told me she was going to have a baby, that knocked me for a loop.
(And a year or so ago while dressing for work one morning, I watched thru my peephole as a team of FDA agents used a battering ram on my former neighbor’s door; now that’s not something you see everyday!)
What I’m actually talking about here is, I guess I’ll never stop being surprised at how some people feel they know what’s good for me.
There’s a real difference between a friend sending me a link on the dangers of too much salt, & seeing an old coworker on the bus who says “Man you got fat, you better lose some weight!” after I spotted him & said hi, long time no see. My friend Kathy (who sent me the ‘Dangers of Salt on your Arteries’ article) sees me regularly and we usually eat lunch together. She worries about my love of the salt shaker and saw the article as her right to hide the sodium from me if I don’t get to it first. Fair enough. As for “J.T.”, he’s just some mofo I passed in the hallway or men’s room when I worked at GNCorp in the late ‘90s, we weren’t friends then & we sure aren’t going to be now!
“The best advice is this: don’t take advice and don’t give advice.” -Author unknown
Here’s some other remarks I’ve heard recently, usually in a public setting where others can bear witness to my various shortcomings: “Your writing is namby-pamby.” “You’re so cheap, spend some of that money.” “You need to get a life.” “All you do is work, your life is drudgery.” (Dude I let you have the namby-pamby thing, what the heck!) And finally, from an Asian at work—“Haha! Dougras, you walk funny!” Yes, I know and you talk—nevermind! But you don’t hear me laughing, do you? 
Oh I have plenty more examples but I think I made my point. Recently on Facebook, a friend-of-sorts wrote on my page, asking me when I was coming out of the atheist closet. First of all, I have relatives galore on there—secondly, I’m not an atheist. When I politely responded I wasn’t, I got “Well, I still love you Dougie Poo.” No! I deleted the public exchange (after sending a private apology and explanation why). This person informed me they were disappointed in me. The feeling is mutual, but I’ll get over it!
I don’t mean to sound hostile, but as I sit here and reflect on various exchanges I’ve had with some of these people, I honestly can’t recall expressing judgment (let alone insults or disapproval) over how they feel or live their lives. So what gives? Do people think I’m going to walk away with a big smile on my face, thankful for the ‘toughlove’?
“We hate to have some people give us advice because we know how badly they need it themselves.” ~Author unknown
Well, I’m done ranting. There are far worse things to be frustrated or jacked about, and I like who I am just fine, so I’ll just shrug my shoulders and thank God (or Whomever) for all the good things & good people in my life. But it sure felt good getting this off my chest!
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