Sunday, September 1, 2013

Aargh! We’re at the mercy of wicked people, places & things


A couple hours ago, I gathered up this week’s collection of laundry and headed downstairs to the basement of my apartment building.  We have two washers, two dryers—and I said a silent, quick prayer that there wouldn’t be a long wait, but on a Sunday afternoon, the odds are against you.

So imagine my great surprise when I found all four machines EMPTY & just waiting for my quarters.  I loaded up both washers, plugged in my coins, came back upstairs and washed some dishes, headed back downstairs, loaded up the dryers with my money & wet clothes, hit the buttons—and a bright burst of electrical sparks sprayed down from the wall outlet (above the dryers) with a loud, scary pop.  I ran upstairs, called building management & told a sympathetic Bethany that the place is about to burst into flames AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, TWO LOADS OF WET CLOTHES AND $4.00 IN QUARTERS WILL BE LOST.  She said “Mr. Morris, I—I’ll have to call upper management about this…”  I could almost hear the hand-wringing over the phone.  I know it’s a Sunday, and a holiday weekend on top of things, but isn’t this a dire situation??  Sparks were shooting out of the damn wall!! 

And the whole time I’m talking to Bethany, I’m trying my best not to listen to the muffled music and shouting coming from somewhere.  Dammit I thought my gay neighbors were away for the weekend!  After I get off the phone, I open my patio door to see if the boys car is outside & I’m immediately greeted by ‘Walk Like An Egyptian’.  Oh, it’s coming from my other gay neighbors, the lesbian’s yard next door.  They’re out there with a cooler of beer & two stereo speakers perched in the grass beside them.  They like to sit outside and fill the air with ‘Sounds from the Eighties’ while throwing back a few and while THEIR neighbors are yelling at them to turn it down; it wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t last for 10 hours.  Gosh, I wish it would rain.

So I turn on my tv, change the channel from reruns of ‘The Cosby Show’ to one of those all-news channels (because serious times call for serious television) and it’s Obama and Syria, Syria & Obama.  My God, the horrors going on in that country, few of us can even imagine.  And the only person who’s making any sense is the Pope, who reminds us all that war begets war, violence begets violence.  And it makes me feel guilty for going on about wet clothes and boozy lesbians when real war is being contemplated (but it doesn’t alter the fact I’m down to one clean towel and a couple boxer shorts). 

I just wonder what’s going to happen next.


  1. I don't know what happens next, but I love the Bangles!

  2. Haha! Iikka me too--but on my own stereo :)


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...