You say potato, I say toboggan; you say tomato, I say slumgullion... let’s eat!

Sometime around 1990, after I’d been working downtown for a year or so, one of my coworkers invited me to lunch and I declined, saying I needed to go to Kaufmann’s and buy a toboggan. 

I’ll never forget the reaction I got—“are you serious??”  I said yes, sure.  Winter was coming and I needed one.  She said “I’ll believe it when I see it.”   Er.. okay.

Later that afternoon, she came over to my desk and said ok, where is it.  When I held it up, she said “You bought a ski cap?”  and that’s when I learned that some of the words I used back home weren’t necessarily common ones here.  Oh, people got a big kick out of it, they knew I was from a rural area south of the city & tortured me for it:  “You really call a ski cap a toboggan?  Give us some more hillbilly words!”   Okay, here’s another one.

When I was a kid, my mom would say “Doug, chop up a big onion for me honey” & I’d ask if she was making potato soup, one of her specialties.  She’d say no, slumgullion. Ooh!   A mixture of ground beef, celery, onions, tomato juice and macaroni—she’d make an army-sized pot of it for her ravenous army of six kids, and we’d scarf it down like there was no tomorrow.  

I’ve tried making it on my own, but it always seems to lack something special—Mom, I’m guessing.  I’ve seen some recipes for it online, but I’m always surprised how much the ingredients can vary.   Anyway, I’ve been making my OWN version of slumgullion now for several years & I think it’s pretty good.  I’m basically substituting ketchup & cream of celery soup for the tomato juice.  Trust me, it works!

Not my Mom’s Slumgullion 

1. Brown 1 LB ground beef & one large chopped onion –OR- two smaller ones; drain. 

Don’t be afraid there’s too much onion, everytime I make this my first thought is “Why don’t I make this more often?” and my second thought is always “Wish I’d added more chopped onion”

2.  Stir in 1 can ‘Campbells Cream of Celery Soup’, 1/3 cup ketchup, 2 tablespoons Worchestershire Sauce & 1/4 teaspoon black pepper.  Stir it up good, cover & set it on very low heat.

3.  Boil 1 cup (uncooked) macaroni to desired softness, drain, plop the pasta back in the pot—add in the soup mixture from the first pot.  Cover & put on low heat and let it heat together for a couple minutes.   You’re done!

By the way, as much as I love this stuff it’s even better with some VERY crusty bread—that makes all the difference.  I usually heat up a can of green beans too, just to soften the guilt a little from all that carb-on-carb action..         .         .

Well, if you’re scratching your head right now & thinking “Did I really just read some hillbilly’s recipe for Hamburger Helper?”  I don’t blame you—but take it from a single guy (and former Hamburger Helper expert), this concoction tastes a whole lot better.