Little Girl Blue: Forty years later and my heart aches just the same

A couple weeks ago, I was laying on my couch reading various book reviews on my e-reader when a pop-up window asked if I’d like to read a sample of Little Girl Blue: The Life of Karen Carpenter.  I declined.

It wasn’t that I didn’t know Karen, or the Carpenters.  As a kid in the early 70’s, I loved their sound… who didn’t?  I didn’t see myself as a huge fan, but I think I owned nearly all their record albums.

I can still remember where I was when I learned Karen Carpenter died.  I was working in the Lumber & Garden Supplies at our local Murphy’s Mart.  I was stacking paint and waiting for John E. (my cousin Jonna’s boyfriend and my coworker) to return from lunch so I could go. 

He came around the corner and said “Doug, you’re a big Carpenters fan, right?”

A little embarrassed he knew that but suddenly afraid of what he was going to say next, I just shook my head yes.  He said “I just heard on my car radio, Karen Carpenter died like an hour ago.”

Karen was 32 years old, almost 33.  She was 11 years older than me.  I’d seen her on Good Morning America just a month or so prior, she looked like she had stage 4 cancer.  Her tragic death both was and wasn’t a surprise.

Back in the present, Barnes & Noble sent another pop-up on my Nook.  “Are you sure you want to decline?  The sample is 50 pages long.”  I gave in and said okay, why not.  There was no way I was going to buy this book, I knew her life story inside & out and doubted this book would tell me anything I didn’t already know.  I was also sure it would contain a lot of hearsay which is why I prefer autobiographies over biographies. 

I was wrong, though.  Right away I could tell it was exceptional and halfway thru the sample, I paid the $11.00 for the e-book.  It laid out her life in very exact, chronological detail—from her parents’ parents origins in Chapter 1 to the days & years following Karen’s death in the final chapter.  There wasn’t a single quote that the author didn’t specify who made it, where and when.

A real bonus was readng this in e-book format; as the Carpenters success slowly but surely climbed with each page (and song), I could easily minimize that page, open Youtube and see or listen to every song and performance referenced for myself.  The book took much longer to read this way, but made it a very immersive experience.

It’s no surprise the New York Times gave this book 4 1/2 out of 5 stars.

I think we all know their beginnings:  very early on, Richard was recognized as a musical prodigy and treated as such by their mother Agnes.  At the same time, it’s evident Karen was also musically gifted but Agnes chalks it up to Karen idolizing her brother and doing her part to advance her brother’s career.  Agnes never came out and recognized Karen’s talent.  At least, not to the degree she did with Richard.

After the Carpenters achieved stardom, Agnes would often bring guests along to their concerts, and with a mirror installed above Richard’s piano keys, tell them “You’re not watching Richard’s hands!  Watch his hands!”

I thought instead of re-telling Karen’s story, I’d share 3 videos I watched while reading this book, and their poignancy.  This first one is a television performance from 1974, at the height of their fame (and when Karen was happiest).  After 3 years of prodding by Richard and their record label to “stop singing behind the drums”, Karen was finally comfortable being out in front. 

Later on, while watching this at home with her family, Karen asked if she looked fat.  (She was 5’4” and weighed 145 lbs.)  Her father and brother said no.  Always honest to a fault, her mother told her yes.

 

A year later, Karen would be 25 pounds lighter and the more her mother insisted she stop losing, the more Karen continued to diet.  She was finally in control of one aspect of her life, at least.

In 1976, after Richard completed writing “I Need to Be in Love”, Karen broke down while singing it.  She told her brother she identified too much with the song, but Richard knew this was when she sounded her best.  For the remainder of her life, Karen would declare this “her song” but have difficulty performing it.  

And finally, this is a performance on Danish television in late 1981.  Unlike America, viewers were unaccustomed to Karen’s gaunt appearance and the network’s switchboards were flooded with calls demanding to know what was wrong with her. 

When the Carpenters were told this, Karen was devastated.  After spending the past couple years hovering at 80 pounds, Karen now weighed 98 lbs and thought she looked perfect, even telling friends Olivia Newton-John and Dionne Warwick “I finally have an ass again!”

Fifteen years after her death, her therapist wrote a book on her eating disorder and the 300 anorexic patients he worked with in his 30 year career.  He claimed they were all success stories, except one.  Karen Carpenter.

He added that in all those years, Karen was the only patient who’s family never reached out to him about her progress.  He didn’t understand how someone so loved the world over could be so alone in her personal life.

I made it thru the entire book with only a couple of tears (though I had a lump in my throat for two weeks straight).  And then in it’s last pages, a story was shared about Karen’s solo album.  In 1979, while Richard was in rehab for drug addiction, Karen went to him about making a solo album.  She wouldn’t do it if he said no.  He told her she didn’t need his permission, she said she wasn’t asking for it.  She wanted his blessing.  He finally gave it.

A year later, she presented her album to him and A&M Records.  After listening to it, Richard said it was inferior “and a poor copy of the Carpenters sound”.  Heartbroken, Karen shelved it at his and A&M’s request.  In 1996, 13 years after Karen’s death, Richard decided to release Karen’s solo album and asked the record company for any documents or liner notes his sister had written for the album.  They said the only thing available was Karen’s dedication to Richard “With all my heart, Karen”.  When Richard was told this, he broke down crying.  Darn it, so did I.

Like everything else, her solo album is available on Youtube.  Below is an instrumental piece Richard wrote for a movie about his sister in 1989.  Karen, we love and miss you still.