People come and go so quickly here, don’t they

I hesitate sharing this right now, for a couple of reasons.  First, my heart just feels very heavy.  Second, it’s been too soon.  Third, I don’t want a friend’s death to be viewed as an opportunity to have a new blog-post.

At the same time… I’m having trouble keeping quiet about it too.  Someone I know, Candace Merriman, died on Monday, April 11.  It wasn’t an accident, but it was unexpected.  She’d only been sick for a month before things took a turn for the worse.

For some reason, it’s hard coming to terms with this.  Candace was funny, feisty and VERY smart.  She was six months younger than me, and one of the first people I worked with when I joined UPMC Health Plan 22+ years ago. 

After I retired in 2015, she was one of three people I stayed in touch with.  Not as much as I have with the other two, but we still exchanged notes in our birthday & Christmas cards, and when Trump was in office we had some very long phone chats.

When I first met Candace in 2000, she was a manager with a nice office and a cool bubble gum machine on her desk.  I was assigned to work with her on a series of healthplan member reports for Heinz Foods. 

A couple years later, my boss announced Candace was stepping down as manager and joining our IT team as a business analyst.  She’d be in the desk in front of mine.  On her first day, she said “Hi Doug!” and I said “I can’t process this, I’m too used to seeing you as a superior, not an equal.”  She said “Why does that have to change?”

That was Candace—everything came with a sly smile and twinkle in her eye!

Over the years, sitting in such close proximity, I learned a lot about her life as she did mine.  I remember in 2007, the day after The Big Bang Theory debuted on CBS, she asked me what I thought of the premiere episode.  When I told her I hadn’t seen it and had no intention of watching the show, she said “But Doug!  The show was created just for you!  I swear to God I’m going to lose it if you don’t watch the next episode!”

She was right, I fell in love with it and we discussed every episode for years.

I’m sorry, I could go on & on about a hundred little things.  I do want to say this—I’ve never liked getting advice from anyone, but I did ask for it on several occasions from Candace and she never steered me wrong.  The stock portfolio in my retirement account… she helped me choose them.  Our boss, notorious for ignoring much of what we had to say, often came to her desk for her input as well.

I know a close one’s death always seems unfair, but Candace and her husband John had just sold their home on the Southside for a wonderful house outside of the city.  He had recently retired, and Candace (who would’ve turned 60 on Friday) was still working but planning to retire soon as well.  

Candace, I will miss you for a long, long time.