There’s a light at the end of this long covid tunnel

While the world around me has been abuzz with Ukraine, Kamala, Tim Walz and Donald what’s-his-name, I’ve spent most of 2024 feeling detached from everything.  (I didn’t even know about Joe Biden dropping out of the presidential race until my friend Diana told me—and she avoids the news and is the last to know anything!)

It feels like I’ve been hunkered down in a long, dark tunnel but I’m finally seeing some light at the end.  It’s been a week since the tremors in my right side ended, and the rotten tension headache I’ve had constant for 8 months quieted down greatly 4 days ago.   

I’ve still got a ways to go.  Every muscle in my body aches, making it painful to walk; I move slower than a 200 year old sea turtle on land.  My face still hurts with pin-pricks of pain (like I slept face down in a rose bush) and just going downstairs to get my mail or getting in & out of the shower zaps me of all my energy.  I need to lay down after doing both.  I’m already sleeping 11-12 hours a day as it is.

But I know things are headed in the right direction—I’m finally able to wear my eyeglasses again too.  For the longest time, just having them on my face caused too much pain.  I’m sorry I wasn’t able to keep up with others blogs or with online friends.  This is the first time I’ve been on my laptop for more than a couple minutes in weeks.

Back around mid-July, I developed strong burning sensations in both my hands and in my face and mouth.  I contacted UPMC (my insurance provider) and they said I probably needed to see a neurologist.  Then they informed me one wouldn’t be available until late October to mid-November.

A week later, I downloaded the e-book “Final Exit” from the Internet Archives, on the various methods people have used to end their lives.  It was a frightful read but I was getting close to throwing in the towel.

I contacted UPMC again and told them that.  They arranged for me to meet a neurologist in two days time via Tele-Health, who put me on a six month prescription of 25-50mg Nortriptyline and recommended I begin taking 1000mg of N-acetylcystine (NAC) for inflammation as well, Vitamin D3 tablets daily and to avoid any exposure to sunlight.

She told me it could take 2-4 weeks for the Nortriptyline to take effect, and said it doesn’t help everyone, but several days after taking it I DID notice that drop in my orofacial pain so who knows. 

My face looks like I was in a car wreck—my mouth droops on the left, my eyes are sunken in and I’ve got heavy lines running down both sides of my face.  There’s even an online forum for ‘Covid Long Haulers’ with one discussion titled “Will I get my old face back?”   People who have fully recovered say yes, but it could take a year or more. 

Are you familiar with that quote “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”?  I’m sorry, but I think that’s a load of horseshit.  The other night I was looking at my blog from this time last year, at all the outings and road trips and visits with family & friends.  How did I manage to do so much?  I can’t imagine being that active or social today. 

Believe it or not, there has been a silver lining here.  Since January, I’ve lost 44.6 pounds.  No diet or exercise, just 9 months of being a nervous wreck.  I hope I can manage to keep most of it off.

Well, that’s all I have for now.  I wanted to thank everyone again for thinking of me and all your kind words.  I was going to wait until I was fully recovered before writing again but missed my blog.  Thanks for reading and talk to you soon.