Not that long ago, I asked my friend Diana (a devout Christian) if it was acceptable to say a prayer for oneself.
It sounded a little selfish to me, but I’d been living with the pain & inflammation from this long covid disorder for over 10 months now, and was feeling pretty desperate for some real relief.
She assured me it was perfectly acceptable to ask God for an end to the suffering.
That night as I lay in bed, I said aloud “God if you’re listening….” I suddenly felt silly then, talking to the chief deity in the darkness. I rolled over and went to sleep.
The next day—honestly, not the next week or month, the next day—I went downstairs to get my mail and took a quick glance in the adjoining parcel room where the ‘Free Table’ is.
(It’s a table where tenants leave canned goods, old romance novels, candles, anything & everything.) And that day, the only item there was this brown leather book, “Prayers for Men”.
Of course it was just a coincidence. But when you’re searching for words to say to God and then THIS turns up the next day… at least it gave me something else to think about.
That’s what I’ve been doing these last couple of days, a lot of thinking. Between the long covid which has been making life miserable since January and now the results of this presidential election… I’ve never felt so defeated. I’ve been feeling like a stranger in my own body, today I feel like a stranger in my own country.
I’m not going to share what I think of Trump, I did enough of that several years ago. Nothing he says or does surprises me. I’m just dumbfounded how so many people chose to overlook so much and vote the man to be our president again.
If I do say any prayers in the days ahead, they won’t be just for me.
This morning I got up, came out here into my livingroom and turned on the tv. No news. Not today, not tomorrow. I’m taking a break from all that for awhile. I put on FreeVee, Amazon’s free streaming service where I’ve been watching The Waltons.
(The show ran for 9 seasons, from 1972-1981; I’ve been watching one episode a day this past year.) I’m currently in the final season. It’s the year 1944, where even up on Walton’s Mountain they’ve felt the effects of World War II in Europe.
John Boy is somewhere in France, his brother Jason is fighting Nazis in Germany. But as awful as things were in the world then, much like now, at least our country felt like a beacon of hope.
I have given up social media, and I will not watch the news. All the celebrating going on...and they will not see what they have done until it affects them, personally. And it will.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, the rain falls on the just even as it falls on the unjust. We are all going to be affected, and like your little show, we have to remember that what matters is how we tend to each other during these times.
Gosh, so well said. Thank you Debby, much appreciated.
DeleteHi Dug, always glad to find a post from you. And yes, it's 'strange' times. I'm embarrassed for our country... but I refuse to spend what time I have left angry or worried. So I will just live my life as best I can and hope DH and I are around in the next 4 years to vote again. Maybe things won't be as bad as we fear.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I do want to say that although I'm not really a religious person, I do think prayer and thoughts are powerful. Things may not always turn out as we'd like, but I still think putting your thoughts out into the universe does have an effect...
Thank you Rian, your feedback always makes things feel a little better. And I do think there is a positive energy behind prayers.
DeleteHi Doug. I'm right there with you with the frustration and sadness from the election results. I will NEVER understand the thinking of those who support Trump. And I have tried.... Like you, I am on hiatus from the news for a while. It would tear me up to read about it, the analysis, and all the punditry that is sure to follow. I'm a news junkie, but it's all just too depressing right now. My self-care is to take a break from all of it, at least for a while.
ReplyDeleteWhile I am not religious, I am deeply spiritual. I do believe in the internal healing power we have for ourselves. Each person is different, and the important thing is to reach out to what/who will help YOU. It's all part of the self-care that is so important for our well-being. Hang in there there Doug. As always, it's so good to hear from you.
Carole
Carole this was awesome to read, you are a real kindred spirit. Thank you.
DeleteI'm empty. I am streaming from TUBI, also free. They have 1970's British sitcoms. That is about the limit I can stand. Prayers for your health.
ReplyDeleteThanks Miss Merry, you help me feel less alone. ❤️
DeleteDoug, I was horrified to wake up Wednesday morning to hear Trump had won. I don’t understand people! Anything you feel can make a difference Doug, by all means do. You are in my daily prayers.❤️
ReplyDeleteRobin
Robin, thank you my friend. I always feel better hearing from you. ❤️
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