Not that long ago, I asked my friend Diana (a devout Christian) if it was acceptable to say a prayer for oneself.
It sounded a little selfish to me, but I’d been living with the pain & inflammation from this long covid disorder for over 10 months now, and was feeling pretty desperate for some real relief.
She assured me it was perfectly acceptable to ask God for an end to the suffering.
That night as I lay in bed, I said aloud “God if you’re listening….” I suddenly felt silly, talking to the chief deity in the darkness. What would I say? I rolled over and went to sleep.
The next day—honestly, not the next week or month, the next day—I went downstairs to get my mail and took a quick glance in the adjoining parcel room where the ‘Free Table’ is.
(It’s a table where tenants in my apartment building leave canned goods, old romance novels, candles, anything & everything.) And that day, the only item there was this brown leather book, “Prayers for Men”.
Of course it was just a coincidence. But when you’re searching for words to say to God and then THIS turns up the next day… at least it gave me something else to think about.
That’s what I’ve been doing these last couple of days, a lot of thinking. Between the long covid which has been making life miserable since January and now the results of this presidential election… I’ve never felt so defeated. I’ve been feeling like a stranger in my own body, today I feel like a stranger in my own country.
I’m not going to share what I think of Trump, I did enough of that several years ago. Nothing he says or does surprises me. I’m just dumbfounded how so many people chose to overlook so much and vote the man to be our president again.
If I do say any prayers in the days ahead, they won’t be just for me.
This morning I got up, came out here into my livingroom and turned on the tv. No news. Not today, not tomorrow. I’m taking a break from all that for awhile. I put on FreeVee, Amazon’s free streaming service where I’ve been watching The Waltons.
(The show ran for 9 seasons, from 1972-1981; I’ve been watching one episode a day this past year.) I’m currently in the final season. It’s the year 1944, where even up on Walton’s Mountain they’ve felt the effects of World War II in Europe.
John Boy is somewhere in France, his brother Jason is fighting Nazis in Germany. But as awful as things were in the world then, much like now, at least our country felt like a beacon of hope.
I have given up social media, and I will not watch the news. All the celebrating going on...and they will not see what they have done until it affects them, personally. And it will.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, the rain falls on the just even as it falls on the unjust. We are all going to be affected, and like your little show, we have to remember that what matters is how we tend to each other during these times.
Gosh, so well said. Thank you Debby, much appreciated.
DeleteHi Dug, always glad to find a post from you. And yes, it's 'strange' times. I'm embarrassed for our country... but I refuse to spend what time I have left angry or worried. So I will just live my life as best I can and hope DH and I are around in the next 4 years to vote again. Maybe things won't be as bad as we fear.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I do want to say that although I'm not really a religious person, I do think prayer and thoughts are powerful. Things may not always turn out as we'd like, but I still think putting your thoughts out into the universe does have an effect...
Thank you Rian, your feedback always makes things feel a little better. And I do think there is a positive energy behind prayers.
DeleteHi Doug. I'm right there with you with the frustration and sadness from the election results. I will NEVER understand the thinking of those who support Trump. And I have tried.... Like you, I am on hiatus from the news for a while. It would tear me up to read about it, the analysis, and all the punditry that is sure to follow. I'm a news junkie, but it's all just too depressing right now. My self-care is to take a break from all of it, at least for a while.
ReplyDeleteWhile I am not religious, I am deeply spiritual. I do believe in the internal healing power we have for ourselves. Each person is different, and the important thing is to reach out to what/who will help YOU. It's all part of the self-care that is so important for our well-being. Hang in there there Doug. As always, it's so good to hear from you.
Carole
Carole this was awesome to read, you are a real kindred spirit. Thank you.
DeleteI'm empty. I am streaming from TUBI, also free. They have 1970's British sitcoms. That is about the limit I can stand. Prayers for your health.
ReplyDeleteThanks Miss Merry, you help me feel less alone. ❤️
DeleteDoug, I was horrified to wake up Wednesday morning to hear Trump had won. I don’t understand people! Anything you feel can make a difference Doug, by all means do. You are in my daily prayers.❤️
ReplyDeleteRobin
Robin, thank you my friend. I always feel better hearing from you. ❤️
DeleteI gave God a chance by praying for this election and look what happened. So, I give up on many levels. Doug, I hope that whatever you do turns things around and helps you feel better. 10 months!! That's way too long to be miserable. :( I'm so sorry.
ReplyDeleteThank you Margaret, and all I can say right now is that I'm very glad we're friends. I hope you’re feeling better, health-wise at least.
DeleteIt’s a bit hard to think how to comment as I’m a life-long atheist who has a real problem with the term spiritual.
ReplyDeleteI’ll just leave it at that.
It’s not selfish of you to want to be relieved of that awful disease. I just hope that things are improving for you.
I think I would be even more profane about Trump than you. Yet again I’m glad that I live on the other side of the world. Possibly not far enough, though.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen an episode of The Waltons. It doesn’t seem to be the type of program I’d particularly like.
All of the above is rather a bit of a downer. Sorry about that, chief.
Peter my blog was a downer for sure. But I appreciate your comment here, always great to hear from you. 👍
DeleteI actually meant my comments were a downer, not the column.
DeleteI know you did, Music Man. But it wasn't, just honest. 🙂
DeleteI love to hear from you when you post, Doug. You deserve to feel better and I am hopeful that, as Kamala said, "in the dark you can see the stars." I am hoping for a future that is bright, after we've seen the stars. Sending you lots of virtual hugs.
ReplyDeleteDJan, I've been thinking of you a lot since the election. Thanks so much for this. I hope you're doing okay.
DeleteI always hope the next post will have some improvement. Keep working on it.
ReplyDeleteThank you Joanne, you're always so kind.
DeleteWhat do you think of that book? I think it's good to develop spirituality.
ReplyDeleteGigi I've read a few prayers, but it hasn't really inspired or moved me just yet.
DeleteI love the synchronicity of your finding that book, that day. Whatever anyone believes, that kind of thing provokes thought.
ReplyDeleteI see why you would be watching the Waltons. But a few days before the election, I ran across a list of the 23 Best War Movies of all time, and I have decided to watch them all, at least the ones I can find. It makes sense to me: people living through difficult times, bearing up under the weight of it, rising to the occasion, etc. The first one was The Best Years of our Lives, which I had seen bits and pieces of but never the whole thing. It was sad, certainly, but also very uplifting. The next one on the list might be more difficult (The Bridge Over the River Kwai), but then up comes Casablanca, a favorite of mine. I am with you on not subjecting myself to the news. We all just need to find whatever works for us to get us through the next couple of years.
Nina
Thank you for sharing Nina, much appreciated. And you've piqued my curiosity, was never a fan of war movies but I liked your reasoning. I think I'd like to see those three, at least. You've inspired me.
DeleteHi Doug
ReplyDeleteI don’t understand how we got to Trump the Sequel either . Unlike him, all the Americans I know are good , honest people with kindness as a core value . There are parallels here with the UKs Brexit vote ( I voted in stay in Europe and still think of myself as a European )
From my perspective, and the majority view in the UK ,is that this election was a perfect storm of events that enabled Trump ( with all his many, many flaws) to regain the White House . I am sorry for your country , and the rest of the world , that this has happened . The world feels scarier since the results were announced .
As a child I was raised Catholic , but abandoned the faith at the earliest opportunity. Since my husband died , I have really struggled to see any point to life - and have started going back to Mass . Maybe the book is a sign, maybe it isn’t , but if it gives you comfort then that has enormous value
The Waltons was a big part of my growing up too - Jim Bob was my favourite. Monday night , BBC2- those were the days
Siobhan
Thank you for sharing Siobhan, I appreciate what you wrote here. I'm so sorry that most of the (civilized) world has to feel this fear about Trump too, I know he's that bad a character. I am still in honest shock over everything. As for your religious beliefs, it seems the older I get the more I question these things too.. I'm not so quick to dismiss as I was before. And that is awesome to hear you're a Waltons fan too. Those were the days. :^)
DeleteI'm devastated and terrified. I grew up in the church but am no longer religious. The last decade of the religious right in this country has convinced me that it's simply a cult. I was taught religion and god are about love and kindness, not the hatred today's religion is spouting. The hypocrisy coming from all the people I know who claim to be christians (deliberately lower case) disgusts me. Following a man who has broken every one of their commandments multiple times while looking down on those of us who do not idolize him is truly a special kind evil faith. As my mom used to say, "Don't let the b**yards get you down!" And, though I no longer pray, I meditate and ask the great white light of the universe for help when I need it. Wishing you good health and hoping we can all find our own versions of hope to carry us through the next four years.
ReplyDeleteBobi you're awesome, thank you so much my dear friend. I may never be a follower of organized religion, I do believe there is a force for good, thanks to ones like yourself. Your words here give me strength. 💪
DeleteI stayed up far too late watching the results on Tuesday evening, and went to sleep feeling less than optimistic. The following morning, when I saw the final results, I removed myself from several Reddit threads - I just can't bear to read more about that felon. Funny that most felons can't vote but this one can be President. As a Canadian, I am well aware there will be fall-out felt here too (and around the world) as the chaos he spreads will cause ripples. Enough of that, but know you are not alone (as the comments attest to) feeling down-hearted and wondering at the minds of fellow Americans.
ReplyDeleteMy family was mixed - my mom was faithful to her church and dragged us kids off to Sunday services, at least until we found that hiding in the chicken coop would prevent her from finding us. I did go through the various rituals to appease her and spare my younger siblings. None of us have a religious bone in our bodies. Rather, I find my peace when I am able to spend time outdoors, whether it is digging in the dirt in my garden, or walking in nature.
Do take care of yourself, your perseverance through the pain and discomfort is admirable. You've got this!
Maebeme, I know how you feel--on Wednesday I unsubscribed from several youtube channels devoted to the election. I've had enough and I hate how this affects the rest of the world too. I liked your notions about religion too, makes good sense to me. Thank you for the well wishes and for everything else too.
DeleteLike you, I believe that there is a force for good. I also believe that evil does NOT triumph. It eventually destroys itself and is gone. I can't wait for that day. I had an interesting experience. He was Buddhist. I have a book coming too. When the future gets too frightening to look at, I think that 'old words' have a great deal of comfort. People have dealt with miseries for thousands of years, and yet there was always something that came next. We need to remember that.
ReplyDeleteI think the secret to getting my posts out of spam is to note that you will probably find it there. It's like blogger says, 'Hmmmmmmm....' and posts me right away. Can't wait to see what happens next.
Thank you Debby, I appreciate what you said here. To be honest it's difficult to see the other side of this right now, I keep expecting to wake up or something. As for your posts, I was shocked to get an email notification for this one--that was a first! Maybe that's a sign better things are coming. :^)
DeleteStopped in to see if you had some improvement. I often pray to the God of the universe for healing for you. You can pray for yourself any old time you want. You can say anything you want to God. God loves you, Doug.
ReplyDeleteI was stunned to hear the results of the election. Too many people have fallen for that con man. I’m also praying for the people of this country. God have mercy.
Thank you Anon, this was very kind of you. Your words brought a lot of comfort. And yes, God have mercy.
DeleteWe've also given up on the news since the election. I'm at the point of trying not to think about things as I fear for our country's future. I love The Waltons and have the full set of DVDs. That show helps me feel better, especially in times like these. The old fashioned love, respect, and kindness is such a refreshing break from what our country has become. Judy Norton that played Mary Ellen, has an interesting YouTube channel about the show. If you enjoy the show you might like it.
ReplyDeleteI'm sending you all my best for your improvement. I'm not a church goer, but I sure do believe in prayer.
Bonnie, thanks so much for chiming in here. I was just telling a friend earlier today, I've stopped watching Jimmy Kimmel's monologue and SNL skits on Youtube for the time being--they're all making light of the election and I just don't see anything worth laughing about. Also, you gave me a big smile here--I'm a big fan of Judy Norton's youtube channel, I comment on half her videos and she always writes back! A month or so ago, someone asked a question about the Walton tv movies made in the 80s and 90s, I said I just got the boxed set on Amazon for 10.99, I got a PM from Judy thanking me--it made my day :^)
DeleteDoug, This post is absolutely wonderful. And the comments … wow, so many good people sharing their thoughts so similar to mine. I sat here a long time trying to decide what to write. I don’t think I can add much to the agony so many have expressed. And, I don’t consider myself religious because all religions are human creations. However, I do believe there has been guidance, ever since the big bang, that has gotten us to where we are today. My take on it is … your finding “Prayers for Men” is just part of the grand plan. 😊 Best wishes Doug! John
ReplyDeletePS Enjoy the Waltons ... I used to watch every week! 😊
Thank you John, you're a very wise man. I can't explain why, but I thought of you this week and was wondering where you stood on much of this. As usual, you do not disappoint. I very much appreciate everything you said here. I hope you’re doing well. 🙂
DeleteSorry to read you are continuing to experience ill effects from Covid. I’m blogging very infrequently so didn’t know. I do hope you recover from it soon.
ReplyDeleteThanks Joared, you're very kind. It's good to hear from you too.
DeleteWriting helps, and it appears you have a like-minded following here on your blog. People who can reach out, from the far corners of the world, and cheer you on. We all need those folk in our life. You certainly do since you are confined to your apartment right now. I sure hope you can feel better and well enough to get out and be with like-minded folk in 3-D. My blog post today is about my group of friends who cheer me on.
ReplyDeleteThank you dkzody, your words are very much appreciated. And I need to check out your own blog.
DeleteI'm so sorry you have to deal with pain. I take care of my mother who suffers from awful pain, it is amazing to see how she never gives up. She's now 88 years old.
ReplyDeleteNever ever give up...that's my li'l 3rd world advice to you. Say your li'l prayer, look for something to lift your spirits, even if it's a nice book, a song, a cup of tea or glass of cordial, a raindrop.
Thank you Neena, and that's wonderful to read of your 88 year old mother-and yourself, she's fortunate to have you as a daughter. I appreciate your sweet advice.
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