Thursday, December 3, 2015

Yep, here’s my gun—and I’m not afraid to use it

Early this morning while watching tv, I was sipping a cup of coffee and looking down at my carpet & thinking it could probably use a good vacuuming.   So I moved some stuff out of the way, hauled out my sweeper & got to it—but hey, now I couldn’t hear my tv and the King Sisters (from the 1967 holiday special “Christmas with the King Family”) were singing “Have a swingin’ Christmas”, so I grabbed the remote and jacked up the volume.  Ah, better!

I’d just finished the living room, and was now in the hallway leading into my bedroom when it hit me—it’s 8:40 am and I am making all kinds of racket.  The young man who lives next door to me happens to work nights (as an office electrician) and was probably sleeping, or trying to.  I made a whoops face, turned off the sweeper, ran back into the living room, turned down the volume and waited.  Silence; no one was pounding on my front door.  

As I was putting things back in order, I began to wonder about him.  He’s such a quiet fellow, rarely makes a sound over there.  I’ve always taken it as a blessing, but you know what they say about these quiet types… for all I know, he’s over there pounding his fist into his palm, ready to take me out!  Wait, does he own a gun?  All the maniacs have one it seems, and they’re not afraid to use ‘em.  All I have is my phaser from ‘Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan’ and it’s bark is definitely worse than it’s bite.  Jesus, I’m 54 years old and live alone!  For all I know, I’ve got a killer living next door! 

There’s record numbers of people appllying for gun permits, maybe it’s time I got myself something with a little more firepower!

I know, I’m being silly.  I went back to watching the King Family, and the next time I see my neighbor, I’ll be sure to apologize for this morning’s ruckus.

on my tv

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