Monday, October 27, 2025

As my 64th birthday nears... My Autumn Sonata

Liv Ullman, Ingrid Bergman in Autumn Sonata, 1979

Yesterday when I got out of bed and checked the weather--temps in the 40s, blustery winds, gray skies--I decided I'd spend some time reading, have an early lunch of tomato soup and a roast turkey sandwich, then find something quiet to watch.  I came across this Swedish movie from 1979 on HBO Max, just what I was looking for.  Autumn Sonata, starring Ingrid Bergman & Liv Ullman.

I won't give too much of the story away.  Ingrid Bergman is an international concert pianist who comes to stay with her daughter and son-in-law for a few days, and in the process we learn how estranged these two really are.  That first night, Ingrid's daughter (Liv Ullman) glows to her husband how different her mother seems now, and she just knows her mom is happy to be with family again. 

Meanwhile, Ingrid is upstairs in bed, admiring the 5 million francs in her bankbook and anxious to get out of there and fly to Paris.  She's a tough bird who doesn't like being around needy people, including her daughter.  

There's almost an irony here.  In real life, Ms. Bergman had just turned 64 and discovered a lump under her breast during filming.  It would turn out to be an aggressive lymphoma, and she would have to cancel her plans for another movie.  This would be her final film.  In a year she'd be crippled from the cancer and die just two years later.  You never know when it's your time.

I apologize for the bleakness here, but as I sat here and read about Ingrid's life ending at 64, I can't help but hope mine picks back up again.  I'll be turning 64 this Friday.  I really thought the long covid was mostly under control, was able to go on a few outings this summer.  But since my setback in mid-September, even a trip to the grocery store is overwhelming.  My friend Diana says "you beat it before, you will again" and I believe that.  I just wish I knew when.  

After my birthday I'll be applying for Social Security.  I worked many years for it (most of us do) but it still amazes me I'm eligible and technically have been for two years.  This time next year, I'll be signing up for Medicare.  I can't believe my parents never made it that far.  

I know I share too much personal info here, but once I get started... in the summer of 2001, a few months after Dad died, and 3-4 months before I turned 40, I was spending the weekend with my mom.  We got to talking about finances, and she asked me if I had a lot of money saved.  I said "What do you define as a lot?"  She said a half-million dollars.  I laughed and said "Mom, how much do you think I earn?!"  

I told her I had $2,500 in my checking account, $45,000 in my retirement account and $155,000 in an online savings account.  I had to explain what an online bank was and how it was FDIC insured just like her local bank, but paid much higher interest.  She still thought it sounded risky, but asked if I had plans for my savings.  I said yes, when the time was right I'd buy a house.

I didn't buy any houses.  Mom passed in 2004, and in 2009 when we were dealing with "The Great Recession", interest rates dropped and my savings account went from earning $400 a month interest to almost nothing.  I decided to move my nest egg into the stock market where it grew better than expected.  It allowed me to retire in my mid-50s.

But as someone who grew up relatively poor, and spent most of his twenties in a succession of minimum wage jobs and often on the verge of homelessness, I never lost that frugal mindset.  In fact, it's taken me all these years to finally stop worrying about going over my monthly budget.  I no longer have a monthly budget.  (I'll never spend a penny on iphones, bottled water, Taylor Swift or gambling though.)

Right now, my goals are to recover from this awful setback, see my friends at the senior center again, visit my sister and brother-in-law in Greene County and maybe my second cousin's hamburger stand (if it's still standing that is).  I want to spend some time with my friend Diana in West Virginia and tour the "Hare Krishna Palace of Gold" in Moundsville and the haunted prison in Morgantown.   Almost heaven, West Virginia.  I do love that state.   

For now, all I can do is bide my time and hope for better days.  It's so frustrating when you have the time, you've got the resources, but your head's a witches cauldron, a scary kettle of things.  Well, it's almost Halloween you know.  

I guess that wraps up my Autumn Sonata...my hands tapping on laptop keys vs. piano keys.  Thanks very much for reading.  A lot of you out there have been such good friends on here, and I can't tell you how much it's meant to me.  Thanks again.

Thursday, October 23, 2025

Who is this man and why did I listen to him talk for an hour yesterday

I have a little bit of a confession to make.  A couple years ago I began following a couple channels on YouTube of child actors from the 1970s, people in their sixties now who were my age then (and I suppose still my age today).

One is Judy Norton, who played oldest daughter Mary Ellen Walton on The Waltons, that aired Thursday nights on CBS in the 1970s.

I just love her--she does a LOT of reminiscing about her years on the show, and of the 6-7 times I've written her, I've gotten great responses every time. 

Another channel I came across recently was a podcast hosted by a couple different guys, Ike Eisenmann (pictured above) and Moosie Drier.   Ike did lots of guest spots on 70s television, and costarred with Kim Richards in the Disney flicks Escape to Witch Mountain and Return to Witch Mountain.  Moosie played John Denver's son in the 1977 movie Oh God and Howard Borden's son on The Bob Newhart Show.

I know, I know--we're not exactly talking big or famous actors here.  But they're both in their early sixties now (like me) and I just feel a connection to them.  I enjoy hearing them reminisce, and they help me remember those years with great fondness.

Anyway, the reason I'm even sharing all of this is because during a recent podcast, Ike was admitting to feeling envy today at other child actor's resumes back then, and Moosie said "But they've never had a documentary made about them."   Ike admitted it was very flattering.  

I looked it up, watched it last night and enjoyed it very, very much.  Filmmaker Dion Labriola, 60 years old, knew very early on what he wanted to do in life.  Draw monsters and make films about them.  And then one day in a teen idol magazine belonging to his sister, he saw an interview with Ike Eisenmann who said he enjoyed drawing things like spaceships and monsters, and hoped to do it professionally someday.

(For the record, as my family and friends well know, I also did lots of drawings of spaceships and monsters back then.  So I really related to this pair.)

Dion became obsessed with Ike and began writing him VERY detailed fan letters of how they should meet, become friends, collaborate on projects, become rich & successful.  Sadly, Ike never saw any of these letters until many years later, when both were middle aged.

It's still a great story though, and a wonderful documentary.  And you can watch it for free on the PBS app.  The End!

Tuesday, October 21, 2025

It may not be a protest, but I'll do what I can

It's been a rainy, windy day here in Pittsburgh--a high of around 49 degrees at noon.  Since the return of my long covid symptoms in mid-Sept (where things like sunlight & heat cause my cranial inflammation to flare for hours) I figured it would be good 'walking weather' to the market for some groceries.

Got some eggs, raspberry jam, Thomas English muffins, string beans, sausage... lots of good stuff.

When I got home I was glad to see my Arizona Highways 2026 calendar had arrived, along with my mail in ballot and a postcard from some woman named Nancy who lives in Florida, imploring me to vote in November in favor of keeping the 3 Pennsylvania Supreme Court judges up for retention.  "Doug, they're all Democrats!"

Yes Nancy I know, and of course I'll be voting to keep them on the bench for another 10 years.  If they go, we'll be left with 4 judges--two Dem, two Republicans.  And if we get a Republican majority, we'll lose things like abortion rights and mail-in voting, which we need more than ever right now.  Those damn Republicans, I wish I could wring their necks, chop 'em all up in little pieces.   

Whoa, where'd that come from?  I'm just in a cranky mindset from this chronic inflammation--besides, most Republicans seem to look past all the crap King Trump spews daily.   I try my best to as well.

Anyway, just wanted to put something new out here.  I need to get my ballot in the mail, pronto.