Friday, May 17, 2019

How Emma Thompson & Leslie Jones have given hope to one Droopy-Doug


I’ve been trying not to be a Droopy Doug with this awful TMJ, but it’s done a real number on me.  My cheeks (well, the masseters behind ‘em) have been swollen for so long, they began to harden.  (The retired surgeon who looked at them a couple months ago told me it was because they were calcifying.)  I’ve sat here so many times trying to ‘crack a smile’ (just to get things going) and no joke, it’s impossible.  It’s like I’m trying to lift barbells in my cheeks.  More and more, talking has become a labored, sweaty event.

And then this past week I had something of a miracle…

Last weekend I was watching Saturday Night Live and they had this skit where Emma Thompson is trying to teach royal etiquette to “Meghan Markle’s third cousin from Compton” (Leslie Jones) before she’s permitted to meet Meghan & Prince Harry’s new baby.  To say I thought it was a hoot would be an understatement.  I laughed in surprise SO HARD that I heard crunching sounds from both sides of my face.  I ran to the bathroom, looked in the mirror—both of my cheeks were so inflamed!  Tried to smile again, couldn’t do it.  Well, that was something!  I went to bed.

When I got up the next morning, I sat up then squeezed my eyes shut—it felt like someone had dropped a wrecking ball on my face while I was sleeping. I looked in my bathroom mirror, attempted to smile at my crazy self—nope, still unable.  So I made a cup of coffee, sat down on my couch, turned on my tv and replayed that SNL skit—I’ll be damned, I busted out laughing again.  More crunching sounds.  Good!

I avoided Emma & Leslie the rest of the day, walked around with my head wrapped in a towel filled with ice and prayed things would calm down.  Then I repeated the entire thing on Tuesday. 

On Wednesday, the pain feeling a little less (and my jaw moving a little easier) I grew excited, got dressed, walked up the street to my old dentist’s office and told them what happened.  I couldn’t smile, but those SNL women were cracking me up—literally!

They couldn’t have been nicer.  I was bummed to hear Dr.A has retired (he was my dentist for 25 years) but got to meet his replacement and she’s wonderful.  She gave me a quick, informal exam right there and measured how wide I could open my mouth for a sustained period of one minute or so. 1.15”.  She said it was wide enough to do some dental work.  Thank God!   I haven’t had a teeth cleaning since this whole thing began!

They laid out a plan where they’d like to get started (exam, x-rays, cleaning) but recommended I wait one month to see if things continue to improve.  I was so encouraged by recent events I walked down the street to the Rusty Nail (a popular local restaurant) and had a steaming bowl of stuffed pepper soup, then took a large glazed donut home to gently ‘nub’ on.

Anyway, just felt like sharing—my news and this video.  Thanks again Emma & Leslie!

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