Am I the only one feeling some real battle fatigue here?

Friday morning I swallowed a couple ibuprofens, said a quick prayer (to whomever may be listening) and headed to the barbershop.  It was a week or so early for me, but my barber (Rose) is getting a thyroid operation this week and doesn’t know how long her shop will be closed.   I love her dearly, she’s a good friend and I hope she takes all the time off she needs. 

After I arrived and whispered I wouldn’t be doing any talking (as my TMJ muscles are slowly shifting to the far back on their way to healing, but making it difficult to talk) she said “No problem, Dougie Fresh—you just have to listen!”  As she began clipping my hair, she went on a rampage about Trump & the gall of his Ukraine shakedown.

I nodded my head up & down (well, when the scissors weren’t too close).  Meanwhile, a well dressed, older gentleman reading the newspaper (more like pretending to read) waited for a lull in Rose’s diatribe and said “Have you considered this is some elaborate hoax cooked up by the Democrats?  I wouldn’t put it past them, I’m 70 years old and remember when they tried to convince everyone to turn Communist in the 1950s.”   

Wha…??

Rose said “HEY PAL—ARE YOU HERE FOR A HAIRCUT?”  He said “That I am.” She said “THEN SPARE US THE BULLSHIT.  I’M A DEMOCRAT, SO IS DOUGIE FRESH HERE.”  She spun my chair around to face him (haha, I almost burst out laughing) but I gave him the angriest look I could muster.

He picked his paper back up and said “I was only offering a just suppose, it wasn’t intended to be taken personally.”   He seemed like a nice enough fellow, had an “educated air” about him.  But still… wow.  Rose cut the rest of my hair in angry silence.

After I got home, showered & changed and plopped on my couch to get on my laptop and check my email, I opened a message from my friend Danielle.  It included this early morning tweet from the Donald, I’m sure everyone has seen or heard about it by now.

I wanted to laugh, wanted to cry.  This oaf is as petty & simple-minded as he is deranged.   Is there a Trump supporter out there reading my blog?  Can you explain or justify this tweet?  You can?  Omigod, what’s wrong with you?

I sent it on to my sister Shawn (who responded with a reminder that she hated him) and turned on my tv.  More Trump stuff.  I even switched it over to Fox News, looking for a laugh.  I got one alright, but it was them laughing instead. “Will the Democrats stop at nothing??”  “The Democrats OWN this!”  “The Democrats have just handed President Trump his second term in office!”  

Well, I hope not.  I turned my tv off, put my shoes on to walk to Redbox and rent a movie to get away from Trump and all this impeachment mania, and when I got downstairs, saw (what appeared to be) a 108 year old Muslim woman in the lobby, spinning in place and shouting

    !!هل يمكن لشخص ساعدني شخص

A cluster of senior women sat there watching, shrugging their shoulders and nudging each other and wink-wink isn’t this hilarious.  I said “Ma’am, ma’am—can you understand me?   What’s wrong??”   She shoved an iphone into my hand and I heard a man’s voice “Hello?  Hello?”   When I put it to my ear & said hello back, he said “Yes sir, my name is Amir—we live on the sixth floor, I am not at home.  Are you the police?”   I said no, just a tenant.  He said his grandmother had left some groceries downstairs, but when she returned to get them, they were gone.

I told him I’d try & find out what was going on.  I asked the women in the lobby if they’d seen any bags of food.  They all shook their heads no, and one said “This is Avalon!  People don’t steal other people’s food here!”   I looked about, and there on the “Free to take” table was a small white note.  The woman in #112 had seen the bags, noticed they contained perishables and brought them into her apartment so the milk & meat wouldn’t spoil.  I asked Amir if he was still on the line (he was) and explained what happened, then took his grandmother by the arm and went to said apartment.  After we got the missing food back, Amir said “SIR WHAT IS YOUR NAME?  HOW CAN WE REPAY YOU SIR, THANK YOU SIR, THANK YOU!”  while his grandmother smiled and nodded and hugged me.

After heading back into the lobby, those same women (who had enjoyed that worried Arabic woman’s Dance of the Seven Veils) asked if I got things squared away.  I said yes and one of them said “This is why we need Trump more than ever, to stop these people coming into our country!”  and another said “Can’t they go somewhere else?  This is Avalon!”  The other women nodded.  The smaller one (Sue) said “Doug, are you for or against Trump’s impeachment?  Or would you rather not tell us?”

Sue, I don’t want to get into it with you or your friends.  Truce.