Sometimes there’s no excuse—like why I haven’t been writing much, for starters

 

This morning (after making my bed, brushing my teeth & pouring a cup of coffee), I sat down on the couch, woke up my sleepy laptop and opened my email. 

I had several messages waiting for me (from Best Buy, Amazon & Verizon) and one sent to my gmail from an online friend.  It was very brief & to the point.  “Are you hibernating?” 

I knew he was talking about the teepee here, and the lack of recent activity.  I thought about it for a minute, how to respond (hmm...something clever but honest) then gave up & shut it down and decided to watch some tv instead.  What can I say?  It’s not like I’ve been in prison, or a coma.  I didn’t bump shopping carts with my soul-mate at the market or quit my job & take off for parts unknown (though I admit I think about that one—a lot).  No, I’ve pretty much been doing what I usually do this time of year—going to work, watching a lot of movies (have you checked out out my movie review page?) and wondering what my next meal is going to be.  

 

Last week I made these tasty bbq rib sandwiches, and was compelled to post a picture of them on Facebook; it got over twenty responses!

Anyway, there’s no real excuse.  And even if there was, who wants to hear it?  (Two things that people tend to share but no one cares to hear are dreams “what do you think it means?” and weak excuses.)  Earlier last week, my friend Erin and I were discussing our love for ‘The Big Bang Theory’, and where some of the cast got their start in show business.  I said “Well, Johnny Galecki started on Roseanne…” and Erin said “Aw no, he was acting years before that.  Don’t you remember him as Rusty in ‘National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation’?”  I said “Wow, really?  Never saw the movie.”  Erin was actually taken aback.  “Doog, you didn’t know that!?  How is that even possible??”  Easy answer.  That’s a Chevy Chase movie, and I never thought the man was funny.  In fact I have no problem saying I dislike him, so THAT’S my excuse and it’s a darn good one.  Wow, I’m really just rambling on, aren’t I!?

On the other hand… sometime this past week (after Whitney Houston’s untimely passing), I was watching a piece about her on ‘Inside Edition’.  They sure did a lot of praising her one moment and vilifying her the next.  Then they mentioned her ‘history making’ rendition of ‘The Star Spangled Banner’ at the 1991 SuperBowl, and (God’s truth) I was clueless.

I’ve never seen it.  Why is that?  I’m not a football fan, but that’s no excuse—I’m sure it’s aired again somewhere since that ‘91 game.   Maybe I was subconsciously blocking the memory of seeing it, I don’t know. 

I have to admit, I’ve never been a Whitney Houston fan either.  I never TRIED to be.  I have a vague memory of her first music video on MTV in the mid-1980s, but all I remember was a lot of day-glo colors and what sounded like shouting more than singing.  I’ve never listened to any of her music or seen any of her movies.  I knew she had some type of reality show awhile back with her ex Bobby Brown, but what it was about or when it was on, I can’t say.  (Hell, I didn’t even know she had a teenage daughter until this week!)  

So getting back to the Superbowl song:  I looked it up on YouTube last night, plugged in my earphones & sat here with goosebumps all over my arms for the entire rendition.  AMAZING.  I replayed it 3-4 times.  I began clicking on her other videos (“How Will I Know”, “I Look to You”, “One Moment in Time”) and she really did sound wonderful, and while it hasn’t made me want to rush out and buy any of her albums, her voice DID move me.  And I suddenly understood a little better, the real loss here.  Not just for her family of course, but for everyone.

I can still remember sometime in the mid ‘80s, the day my sister Shawn came home from her job as a ‘shoe girl’ at our local Murphy’s.  She was clutching a record album & said “Doug, do you know who this is?”  Nope.  At first I thought it was Vanessa Williams (who had been getting a lot of exposure recently over those nude pics in Penthouse, and losing her Miss America crown).  Shawn said “No, this woman’s name is Whitney Houston, remember that name because she’s going to be big someday, I mean BIG like Barbra (Streisand) and you heard it from me first.”  

It took me awhile, but I’m finally listening.  Rest in peace, Whitney.  

Diary of a Fat Man: if at first you don’t succeed...

 

Dear Diary,

As I write this, it’s Sunday, February 5 2012.  As I was brushing my teeth this morning, I saw my scales reflected in the bathroom mirror & felt a twinge of guilt—I haven’t weighed myself in months.  

I took the plunge & stepped on.  244 1/2 lbs.  Aw c’mon!  I weighed myself a couple more times to be sure, disgusted with myself.  I sure was relieved it was the weekend & I wasn’t going into the office today, I was suddenly feeling very round & conspicuous. 

I decided I’m going to start a weekly weigh-in; I’m going to update the table below every Friday until June, for better or worse.  Wish me luck!  (I’ll need it—I’m not exactly starting out in the right direction.) 

June 01 Goal:  LOSE 20 LBS

Week of	Weight	Loss/Gain	Progress
Feb 02	244.50	0	0
Feb 08	245.50	+01.00	+01.00
Feb 15	243.00	-02.50	-01.50
Feb 22	241.50	-01.50	-03.00
Mar 01	242.00	+00.50	-02.50
Mar 08	243.00	+01.00	-01.50
Mar 15	241.50	-01.50	-03.00
Mar 22	242.00	+00.50	-02.50
Mar 29	240.50	-01.50	-04.00
Apr 05	239.00	-01.50	-05.50
Apr 12	239.00	-00.00	-05.50
Apr 19	239.00	-00.00	-05.50
Apr 26	238.00	-01.00	-06.50
May 3	238.00	-00.00	-06.50
May 10	238.00	-00.00	-06.50
May 17	237.50	-00.50	-07.00
May 24	238.00	+00.50	-06.50
May 31	236.00	-02.00	-08.50

Okay, I didn’t meet my 20 lb. goal--but I did stick with it, and I sure was surprised when I stepped on those scales this morning & saw that 2 lb loss.  (I think having a bad cold this week helped, but I’ll take it!)    THIS ISN’T OVER.

A belated Happy New Year—now about the guy in this painting…

I  used to have this annoying habit of apologizing for everything; Did I take your pen?  Gosh I’m sorry.  Did I interrupt your call when I walked past & said hello?  I’m sorry, I didn’t see you on the phone.  Did I act a bit cool towards you after you canceled lunch plans with me because you didn’t feel like going out?  I’m sorry, but when I saw you leaving with someone else twenty minutes later, I—nevermind, I’m sorry! 

I bring all that up now for two reasons: first, I feel like I should be apologizing for not writing anything here in the last 3 weeks—I’ve just been terribly busy with a lot of year-end deadlines. 

Second, I feel bad for not having something more interesting to talk about, other than the stuff below that’s been on my mind lately.  (So if it helps... gosh, I’m sorry.)  Okay I’ll stop! 

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my age, and where things are headed.  I’m not worried about becoming the old man in that painting—I’m ready to BE the old man in that painting!  Okay, that’s not exactly true; I know I shouldn’t be wishing my life away, but ever since I turned 50 a couple months ago, I can see retirement right around the corner.  RETIREMENT!  Well, if I play my cards right. 

“43% of American workers said they have less than $10,000 in their retirement savings.” –BankingRates.com

One day last week in the office, I brought this up to my friend Julie.  She said “How old are you again?  Fifty?”  I nodded my head yes.  She said “I know you have money stashed away, is it like a million dollars?”  I laughed & shook my head no, if I had HALF that much I wouldn’t BE there. 

She said “You’ve got like 15, 20 more years of this grind then.  You better stop thinking about it.” 

Well, I can’t!  It’s not 20 years, or even 15—more like 12.  (Like it or not, I’m counting on Social Security playing a major part in my retirement--but the earliest you can begin collecting is 62.)  Even then, you’re warned not to do it.  The folks at AARP remind us all to “just hang in there a few more years, baby boomers; you’ll get a boatload more cash if you work until 70.”  THAT’S TOO LONG & I’m not the only one who thinks so, it’s reported that 3 out of 4 people opt to begin collecting SSN benefits at 62—and in 12 years, I aim to be one of ‘em!

According to this retirement estimator, if I continue doing what I’m doing for the next 12 years, don’t get into real estate, avoid casinos, cocaine, Nigerian scams and black widow brides I’m projected to have enough

When I showed this to my sister Shawn last week (with the actual amounts), she remarked how nice it was that I’ve “achieved financial security and independence”.  Well, that’s not exactly true just yet, there’s a lot riding on these numbers.  And a lot can happen between now and 2023 too.  But for now, the old man in that picture is hopeful. 

I know that 12 years is no drop in the bucket either, but it’s all perspective.  To my 7 year old niece Sophia, who’s in the first grade & anxious to pick out her wedding dress and china pattern, yes it’s practically forever.  But to someone my age? 

A few weeks ago, an old friend (and former coworker) wrote me, asked me how things were & began talking like only a few months had passed.  Beth (that’s her below) and her family left Pittsburgh sometime in the late 90s, and this was the first time we’ve talked since then.  Had it really been 15 years or so?  The more I thought of how it just seemed like yesterday when we were working & hanging out together… you get what I’m saying.

 

Beth & myself at my first job with the Department of Aging, mid-90s.  I think I still have that cool necktie

And just the other day my sister Shawn remarked how she couldn’t believe she’s been married almost twelve years, how the time has flown.  (I agree, I even did a double-take when she said it!)  So you see?  With a little luck, I’ll be an old man before I know it.  I know all of this sounds pretty mental (Doug stop wishing you were an old man!) but there’s nothing any of us can do about the “March of Time” (besides dropping over) so why not embrace it? 

Yes yes, I know—live in the present.  I’m doing that now (I have no choice) but I’ve ALSO got a retiree in my future who I need to look out for, and he doesn’t want to be applying for a job at the local Wal-Mart when he’s 70.   So If you’ll excuse me...I have some planning to do, that clock is ticking.  Man, look at it go! 

Hope everyone has a happy & prosperous 2012