Where God has His church, the Devil will have his chapel—even on Facebook

SATAN: Hahahahahaha!
JESUS: Why are you laughing, Devil!
SATAN: You said this is your child!
JESUS: Who are you speaking of?
SATAN: Why—the one reading this, of course!
JESUS: Yes… he is mine.
SATAN: Look!  Your child can’t even type “AMEN” in the comments below!
JESUS: Get thee behind me demon, for my child WILL type “AMEN”!
SATAN: AND MINE WILL JUST IGNORE THIS MESSAGE!

TO ENSURE YOU REMAIN IN JESUS GOOD GRACES PLEASE TYPE “AMEN” IN THE COMMENTS SECTION FOLLOWING THIS POST.

Look familiar?  If you’re on Facebook like the rest of us fools, then chances are you’ve seen this already.  In fact, I’ve seen 4-5 versions of it in the past month.  This latest exchange between this holy/unholy pair was from this morning:

If you look at the numbers, you’ll notice that half a million people have clicked “Like” on this.  But hold on, it gets WAY crazier—because the last time I checked, it had close to 1.2  MILLION comments, with no signs of stopping.  That’s a lot of people anxious to do the Lord’s bidding!

(Sadly, it appears that 99.9% posted ‘Amen’ and that isn’t even what Jesus asked for;  He specifically requested AMEN, using upper case letters.  There’s a difference, people!)

One poor soul wrote “AMEN JESUS! AMEN, AMEN!  DID YOU HEAR ME JESUS!! AMEN!”  Dude, calm down—he heard you, you’re safe! 

That is, until next time…   

Okay, so why am I sharing this.  I DON’T KNOW.  I just find it surreal & disturbing that this godawful exchange, most likely written by some banjo pickin’ inbred, has managed to get so many people's attention.  And yes I suppose it got mine too BUT ONLY BECAUSE ONE OR MORE OF MY FRIENDS MUST’VE LIKED OR COMMENTED ON IT, CAUSING IT TO SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED.  I’ll never know, I’m not about to scroll thru a mllion amens to find out who it was!

A couple weeks ago, one of my friends (Danielle, a heathen like myself) said “I hate Facebook, but I still want to get on there everyday!” I laughed, nodded my head in agreement.  I keep telling myself that Facebook helps me feel less lonely, and these days it seems more & more necessary for keeping up with family & friends, but that’s becoming less and less a thing, and this is becoming more and more. 

Here’s a thing or two that makes me wanna get up and do a happy dance

 

Y’know, it’s easy to get caught up in all the doom n’ gloom out there; those so-called ‘extreme Islamists’ have done a real number on France, much of the planet’s in a dither and even Facebook has been a real eye-opener this week as people divided into two camps over the Syrian refugee crisis and why they should or shouldn’t be allowed here.

On a personal note, it sure was tough to stand on those scales yesterday & see my weight goin’ UP this week. I’ve been doing those weekly weigh-ins since the end of May, and this was the first time it went in the wrong direction. Bummer.

But then I turned on the news & saw that damn Subway guy Jared Fogle finally going to jail (wow, for 15 years) and whaddya know, the economy isn’t going down the drain after all, markets appear to be doing a little better—and things just seemed to get better from there. Here’s some things that are putting a happy dance in my step today

“Brown paper packages tied up with string…” (rather, a box of goodies from Amazon)

This just arrived—Stephen King’s latest (woo-hoo!), a sleeping mask, the hot chili oil I wrote about recently, a bar of stainless steel soap (for removing garlic or onion from your hands) and yep Brylcreem, that greasy kid stuff for your hair. I love it, but the older I get, the harder it is to find!

Comet, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship

Two nights ago I was watching tv & a message appeared on my screen, courtesy of my Tivo. “A new channel has been detected and added to your lineup.” Wha..?? When you don’t have cable anymore, this is an event. I discover it’s a poor man’s SyFy Channel, I click on it just in time to see Tom Selleck’s 1972 classic, “Daughters of Satan.” Someone pinch me, I’m dreaming.

“A thing of beauty is a joy forever'” Well, until that thing is all gobbled up

What do you do when it’s a Saturday, you’ve got no place to go and you’re seen & eaten it all? Make a meatloaf, naturally—I just cooked up this awesome thing, it should last me a few days if I take it easy

 And finally, it’s time to put on those dancing shoes

I saw this yesterday for the very first time—it’s so awesome I can hardly stand it!

The End

Meanwhile, in everyone’s hearts and minds…

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,
And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.
I’ve heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

                                        

Is it soup yet? No, and I’m happy to say it never will be—it’s chili :)

I HATE SOUP.  More specifically, canned soup.  I hate canned chili too—it’s the worst!  So I wonder why chili isn’t considered a soup?  “Because it’s of the stew variety.”   Haha that’s funny—I hate stew too!

I do like homemade chili though, but can’t remember the last time I tried making it.  But then earlier today, I was at the supermarket buying ingredients to make spaghetti sauce (I like mine sweeter then the stuff in jars—sorry Prego & Ragu) and saw this particular style of diced tomatoes.  “Zesty Chili Style”.   I don’t recall seeing this before, is it new?  Anyway, I figured what the heck I’ll make chili instead.

• 1 14.5 can Del Monte Zesty Chili Diced tomatoes
• 1 16oz. can Hunts Tomato sauce
• 1 1/2 cups water
• 1 14.5 can Hanover kidney beans, drained, rinsed
• 1/2 cup chopped onion
• 1/2 cup green pepper
• 1 lb. ground beef, browned & drained
• 2 tbl sugar
• 2 tbl chili powder
• 1 tbl garlic powder
• 1/4 tsp ground red pepper

So simple—brown the beef, drain the grease, toss in the chopped green pepper & onions, cook 5-10 minutes more.  Now stir in sugar, garlic powder, chili powder, ground red pepper, a couple hard shakes of salt & black pepper, mix it up.

(FYI, many chili recipes call for a tablespoon of cumin; I’m not a fan.  Cumin takes it from a homemade tomatoey taste to something more like canned chili.)

Now dump in the diced tomatoes, tomato sauce, water, beans.  Bring to a boil, then let simmer (covered, uncovered—I alternated) for 20-25 minutes.  I was surprised how well it turned out—I sprinkled a little shredded cheddar cheese on top, and a couple slices of homemade bread from the bakery didn’t hurt!

Anyway, as tasty as it was, I couldn’t help but wonder if a little more heat would’ve made it better.  It got me to thinking about those gold-foil packets of hot sauce at Wendy’s, you can’t buy them anywhere but an online cooking forum said Dynasty Hot Chili Oil was the same thing—so I went ahead & ordered a bottle of the stuff from Amazon for next time!

So until the Soup Nazi opens for business around here, or someone surprises me with their grandma’s old recipe, this is about as close to soup as I’m gonna get!

Chocolate teepees and my so-called secrets of weight loss (hint, it’s all in my head)

Last weekend I drove down to my sister Shawn’s house to celebrate my birthday. I knew she was planning a special day with a custom cake, but had no idea what it would be.  (I was assuming something of the spaceship or superhero variety; a giant bug would’ve been a tasty treat too.)  This is what I got, a decadent chocolate mousse cake with a confectionary teepee on top.  Loved it, couldn’t have been happier.  Thanks again Shawn!

I confess that after dinner, when we were all enjoying a slice, I felt like someone coming out of a coma.  This was the first cake I’d tasted in 5 months, and it awoke the “sleeping fat Doug” inside me.  “CAKE!  GOOD!  WANT PIZZA NOW!  AND HOT DOGS!  PANCAKES!  I WANT EGGROLLS AND WHAT ELSE HAVE I BEEN MISSING OUT ON!!”

It took a couple days (and a frozen pizza, 2 bottles of pop and a couple chili dogs) to nip that in the bud, but I managed to put that hungry man back in the nappy part of my brain—I’m even holding out hope I can still report a minus number on tomorrow morning’s weigh-in.  That’s been my big secret, y’know…

FORGET THE BIG PICTURE.  JUST TRY TO WEIGH LESS THAN LAST WEEK’S NUMBER.

It’s what I’ve been doing since I began weighing myself weekly back in June (and posting it here since August), and yes, there were a few weeks when I didn’t lose more than 1-2 ounces but so what?  I always got my minus number.   

But then last night I sent a brief email to my sister a friend, saying I was worried I messed up once too often this week & probably wrecked my record of consecutive losses.  I knew I was opening the gates so to speak, because she’s struggling to find her own “weight loss mindset” & responded with a fairly lengthy letter that pretty much left me at a loss for words.  Unlike me, it helps her to talk about it, relate to it, vent her frustrations, get inspired, speculate on how much I’ll lose by Christmas, attach motivational articles—whew.   All I know is, it has just the opposite effect on me.  The more I read, the more I wanted to say to hell with it all, let’s just eat.

My advice would be, enough with the words.  Just keep a weekly chart, drink lots of water and go to bed hungry.  All you have to do is beat last week’s number.

As for myself, I’m keeping my fingers crossed about tomorrow.  I want to keep that record going—oh, and this wedge of chocolate mousse cake I have tucked away in the freezer, I want that too.  Hey, with victory comes reward!