Last night I was watching an old episode of Scrubs on Peacock, and having a good laugh (I loved that show back in the day) but I couldn’t stop yawning. It was only a little after 8pm, what’s going on?
That’s always the first sign, but I never seem to remember that.
I finally gave in, and around 9pm I took my BP (blood pressure) pill and got ready for bed. As I’m laying there reading, my nostrils suddenly filled with the distinct smell of burnt hair and medicine.
Now I know what’s coming. It will be here between 4-5am.
I jump out of bed, grab my water bottle from the fridge, place it on the floor beside my bed. In the early morning hours, I’m going to awaken with a lot of head inflammation and a bone-dry mouth.
As I sit here typing this at 7:31 in the morning, my temples ache and my face burns like a bad sunburn, as does the top of my hands and back of my neck. The irony is, I had a Facetime appointment with my neurologist’s office yesterday, and told them I usually have mini “long covid relapses” almost daily, but every few days I get hit with one overnight that lasts 3-4 days.
Dr. Yeeuogi said “Your blood contains spike proteins. We see these spikes in patients with cancer or with chronic, long-term inflammation. We know yours is the result of long covid, and this can persist for years.”
I suddenly felt like I did the night Trump won the election, utterly defeated. At the same time, it’s not as bad as it was this time a year ago. Last February I was at the senior center, only a few people had shown up for lunch because of a big cold snap, and I was enjoying a second serving of stuffed chicken breast & orzo. Still, I told the ladies who work there, something was really wrong with me and I wouldn’t be back for awhile.
Things have improved a lot since then, but they could also be so much better.
I’m not sharing this relapse looking for attention or sympathy, I’ve had enough of both. I’m only sharing because if I don’t, people I know asssume I’ve made a full recovery and are confused why I’m not jumping back into things.
When I get good days, I get out there. When I have bad days, I get depressed, fed up. It used to help me to talk about it, it doesn’t anymore. Now I just want to sit here and bake and wait for it to be over again.
The ER doctor at Mercy Hospital told me last March that long covid is a series of relapses and can last a couple of years. At that time, I was only in my third month. Now it’s month #14, but I’m more confident this will end. Thanks for listening, looks like I’m done!
Thinking of you Dug and so sorry you're going through another bout. Was interesting to hear about spike proteins; I think I'll do some googling on that topic. On another topic, I want to say that you are a wonderful writer; you really know how to tell a story. I admire that and it's what keeps me attuned to blogs. Thank you for sharing your life and your talent here with all of us who do care about you and hope this will all be history for you soon. Kim in PA
ReplyDeleteKim--you just made my day, I mean that truly. Thank you so much.
DeleteI echo what Kim has said - you are a wonderfully expressive writer - when I read a post it feels like you are sitting in the room with me , having a conversation, making me laugh ( or cry ) with your observations on life . I hope you continue to write - and I am furious on your behalf that long covid won’t just f **k off and leave you alone
ReplyDeleteSiobhan
I'm so sorry you are going through this Doug. I can think of several people who denied Covid existed even though they became ill, that I wish would be afflicted instead. Hopefully this relapse won't last long and your good days will be more frequent.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you have your physical and mental coping mechanisms--which I admire. I would be angry and depressed all the time, so I admire you for taking each day as it comes. I'm so sorry that you're still dealing with this crap! If I were a different sort of person, I would wish it on all those Covid deniers and anti-vaxxers instead. Mean Margaret.
ReplyDeleteOh Dug, when we think things are on the mend, something happens to bring us back... or so it seems. I wish those 'spike proteins' or whatever it is finally just fade away. I too think about those Covid deniers... and remember how my 2 daughter-in-laws who are nurses told us how they watched people in the hospital die horribly with Covid during the pandemic. And the truth is... it's still around (mutating).
ReplyDeleteBut please hang in there, Dug. We miss you when you don't post (although we understand). Sending you virtual hugs and good vibes!