Thursday, August 28, 2025

A sleepy Doug & The not-so-curious case of the Compulsive Masternater

Good morning!  This was me Thursday morning, August 28 at 7am; I was just getting ready to run out that door to catch the bus downtown for my jury duty.

When my alarm clock went off at 6:15, I literally jumped up in shock. I set it “just in case”, never expecting it would rouse me from a deep slumber.

(But I was up for over an hour in the middle of the night with aching legs, so I was excused.)

I was worried about my recent leg & feet issues, but at the same time I was excited to be catching the 7:05 19L again.  That was my bus to work for many, many years.  It’s been years since I last rode it.

I was dismayed when we got downtown though; everyone was getting off at Liberty Avenue.  I asked the bus driver if she was still going to Mellon One (right across from the Allegheny courthouse) and she said “Sir, this bus hasn’t done that route in years.  Where have you been?”  

Anyway, there’s not a lot to tell.  There were 63 prospective jurors, we were there for the case of Nate F, a fortysomething man with one of the best comb-overs I’d ever seen.  Apparently Nate had a habit of public lewdness which included acts of masturbation.

Oh Nate, you look like a nice man in your nice suit and everything.  Why?

They selected 25 prospective jurors for his trial, and I was picked as No.11.  We were told we’d be questioned by both attorneys.  When it was my turn, they asked me if I’d ever been a juror before.  I said yes.  They asked if I remembered when.  I said yes, March 2010.

They asked me if I remembered the particulars of that case.  I said “Yes, I remember the judge, the state’s attorney, the defendant, the defendant’s lawyer, what the judge told the defendant when he admonished him after the not guilty verdict.”

The defense attorney said “I’m loving this—how?”  I said “Er… I have an online blog.  I wrote a blog about the experience after the trial.”   They seemed to get a big kick out of that.  They asked me if I had a problem with society’s view on public lewdness (no) and would I object to being shown recorded video evidence of these acts.  

Oh I don’t have a problem with that at all!  Let’s see what you got!

Unfortunately, I wasn’t chosen.  Halfway thru questioning the jurors, they took a break for lunch.  There was only 4 or 5 of us that brought our lunch, I wish I’d taken a photo of mine. 

(A roast turkey and smoked guoda sandwich with red onions, and a Tupperware container of steamed broccoli & baby carrots—you would’ve been proud.)

An older woman (Carol) asked if she could join me as she’d brought hers too, and while we ate one of the women who coordinate everything told us “Letting you know, you weren’t chosen and will be going back into the jury pool after lunch.  The attorneys liked both of you, but worried your medical issues could be a distraction.”

We still had to stay until 4:30 (in case another case rolled in).  I was glad for the experience, it got me out of the house for the whole day.  But I was never so glad to be back home again.

2 comments:

  1. My goodness, an alarm clock. I don’t own one of those and never have. All my life I just relied on waking up at the right time.

    The reason they exempted you might be correct, or at least partially. I think there were two other reasons – first you seemed too eager, and second, and probably more important, you sounded too intelligent and knowledgeable.

    You’re right – I’m proud of your lunch (although I’m not a fan of turkey).

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Peter! I honestly don't think I sounded too eager, they asked me to explain the medical info on my questionnaire and I told them I'm seeing two doctors this week coming up for leg and foot issues. I told them I did not want to cancel those appointments either. I thought they were pretty respectful of my health things to be honest. I do wish I could have sat on that trial though!

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