Richard Dawson is gone, and I was just thinking of the man yesterday

Earlier tonight I heard that Richard Dawson died.  He was 79, and died of complications from esophageal cancer; I almost didn’t recognize the recent photo of him.

I don’t want to make light of this man’s passing, but can I share something strange here?  I wasn’t a fan of  Mr. Dawson; I never enjoyed ‘Hogans Heroes’ and never got into his long-running game show ‘Family Feud’ either.

So why did I spend early yesterday watching almost two hours of Richard Dawson clips??  Well, it started out as something else before things morphed into a Saturday morning ‘Dawson-thon’.   A couple weeks ago, after creating that silly video for my niece Sophia (a couple blogs before) I shared it on YouTube with the caption “Once upon a time, there was a bored princess and her mildly retarded uncle…”  and my sister wrote me and asked “Would you mind changing that?  Everytime I see that caption with the word retarded I cringe.”   

Not wanting to offend anyone, I went back & bleeped out the “mildly retarded uncle” portion;  but in the days that followed, I couldn’t get this out of my head.  Why was it so wrong?  

I know—people now find the word offensive.  In fact, some doctors & teachers are asking what to use in place of ‘mentally retarded’ to describe a student or patient that is… well, that.  As for me, I just see a world of difference between shouting “HEY RETARD!” at someone versus using “mildly retarded” to describe myself.  I still feel that way, too.

Maybe it’s just another sign I’m growing old; I think I was more ‘socially aware’ when I was younger.  I remember many years ago, my dad would do this bit where he squinted his eyes, jut out his top teeth and go “Ah so… Confucius say… suki yaki!”  One time as I sat there shaking my head in mock disapproval (I admit—I enjoyed it)  he said “You no rikee my China-man?”  I said “Geez Dad!” and he seemed perplexed.  I’m starting to feel that way too.

A short time back, I was telling a couple people at work about an African-American woman who moved into my building, she was one of the sexiest women I'd ever seen.  A younger coworker said “Did you have to say African-American?!”  I said “Sorry, should I have said black?  Afro-American?” 

She replied “You shouldn’t have specified her race at all!” 

And just a few weeks ago a gay coworker was showing me his new pinky ring (the man wears a lot of bling) and I made the mistake of saying “That’s pretty gay”; he let me know right away, it’s a big no-no to use the word gay to describe something that’s “gay stereotypical”.   

Dammit, I feel like Archie Bunker here!

Okay, okay--so how does this all tie back to Richard Dawson?  Well, yesterday morning I started a blog about my losing battle with political correctness, and was trying to come up with some examples of what once ‘flew’ in my own lifetime, and wouldn’t get off the ground today, and this old ‘Match Game’ show from the early ‘70s came to mind.  I couldn’t have been older than 11-12 when it aired but it stuck with me thru the years; I think because of the Batman & Robin reference (I owned about a zillion Batman comics at the time this aired). 

Anyway—to be honest I was taken aback.  I didn’t remember it being quite this bad, I guess a lot HAS changed.  But as crass as it was, Charles Nelson Reilly & Richard Dawson’s answers still made me laugh out loud—and the next thing I know I’m watching YouTube clips of this show the rest of the morning.

Sorry for the long ramble—and sorry to anyone I’ve offended, past, present & future.   But in all truthfulness, I wish we could all lighten up a bit.

And rest in peace, Richard.  You’ll be missed. 

Thinking out loud: Some things hit too close to home

I’ve been in a pretty mellow mood tonight; people are literally disappearing to the left and right of me.  It’s bothering me, and parts of me are both sure and unsure why.

Saturday morning I was at the local gossip shop (for a haircut) and my neighbor-of-sorts Jim (who lives 3 floors below me and is the eyes & ears of our apartment building) was there, and asked me if I knew where Vanessa had moved to. 

(Vanessa is my next door neighbor, a nice but very shy woman who’s lived across from me since 2000.)  I laughed & said “Jim where do you get your info?  She didn’t move anywhere, I think I’d know if she did.”  Jim said “ok, ok”.  I decided right then & there, as soon as I got my haircut I was going to come straight home, knock on Vanessa’s door, say hi and properly introduce myself.  My god, why did I wait this long?  We’ve lived a couple feet apart for 12 years, often I’d hear her tv when I was coming or going and I’d think “I should really make an effort to be friendlier to her.” 

So, after my haircut I stopped at the drugstore to pick up some items & came straight home.  I walked up to her door, knocked, no response.  Put my ear to the door, no sounds from within.  I don’t know what I was thinking, but I carefully tried the doorknob.  The door swung right open, revealing a completely bare apartment.  Her keys and a receipt for carpet cleaning lay on the kitchen counter.  Vanessa, you were a good neighbor & I’m going to miss you.

That was Saturday; the following day, I’m outside reading on my patio when I hear someone buzz my apartment.  It’s the local police, they’re trying to locate Dr. Steveson, my neighbor on the other side.  (I’ve written about him before, a psychologist in his late 50s, friendly but quiet, kept to himself.)  Apparently he called the hospital Friday night complaining of chest pains, was admitted that night but released himself Saturday.  The hospital had been doing a follow-up but was unable to reach him.   The police entered his apartment and found his body, he died in there sometime Saturday.

The medical examiner’s SEALED notice is across Dr. Steveson’s front door

So earlier tonight, I am sitting here playing on the computer & watching the news, someone knocks on my door.  It’s the deceased doctor’s brother-in-law.

He said “Hi, I’m sorry to bother you but did you know your neighbor here?” I said yes, he lived beside me for several years.  He said “I’m his brother-in-law.  I was married to his sister, but she died some years ago.  Me and my daughter, we’re his only kin.”  I said hello and I was sorry for his loss. 

He said “Thanks, but we haven’t talked to the man in 7 years.”   

He went on to say “He never married, no kids. He lived with his mom until she died, then he moved in here.  The guy was a pretty odd duck for being a head doctor… were you friends with him?”  I said no.  He said “I’m not surprised, he was hard to know.  Did you see his place?  It’s a pigsty—when I knew him he took 3-4 baths a day.  Smoked like a chimney too, had triple bypass surgery 5-6 years ago but couldn’t give up the weed.”  

(I knew the doc was a heavy smoker, when he passed me in the hallway he reeked badly of it; and when they found his body, the walls in his apartment were streaked with tar & nicotine.)

He said “Well, they contacted me, don’t know how they got my name but I told ‘em, haven’t seen or talked to him in years. After his sister passed, my daughter tried to talk to him but gave up.  So am I responsible for clearing out his apartment?  What about his car, do I have to take care of that too?”  I told him I didn’t know, but I’m sure he couldn’t be held liable for anything.  Well, unless he wants the man’s estate, whatever that may be. 

He said “Who wants any of that stuff?”  He thanked me and left. 

So I’ve been sitting here tonight, thinking about this poor man who had no one in his life, and no one to mourn his loss.  His car is still sitting outside, parked next to mine.   And I can’t help but make comparisons between us.  Never married—no kids, lived alone.   I always saw my living here as one chapter in my life, certainly not the final one.  I’m sure the Doc didn’t either. 

To my former neighbors on the left & right of me, I hope they both find themselves in happier places.

What do the simple minded folk do? (Well, if you really want to know...)

 

A couple months ago on Facebook, my friend Rebecca (okay, she’s more like a second cousin) wrote “You are never too cool or too successful to answer a 3 year old’s toy phone”.

People put a lot of so-called wisdom on Facebook, most of which is lame crap, but I liked Rebecca’s quote; for some reason it stuck with me.  So recently, when my sister Shawn told me how much my 7 year old niece Sophia still enjoyed watching a corny video I made 4 years ago about quitting smoking (because of some goofy mugging I did for the camera), I was really surprised--and very flattered.  And I decided that when it comes to Sophie, maybe my simple minded video-making days weren’t so far behind me after all.

This time ‘round I tried doing something a little more “7 year old girl who enjoys dressing up as a princess” oriented, so please keep that in mind if you decide to watch the video below.  (And for the record, I wasn’t planning on sharing this with anyone besides my sister and my niece, but Shawn made such a nice fuss about it… heh heh! 

(One more thing--because I borrowed some copyrighted music for my five minute masterpiece, YouTube may not allow the video to be played on my teepee and provide a link instead.  They’re fussy that way; but so far it seems to be working okay.)

Okay, enough with the jibber-jabber; on with the show!