Oh the Drama
Oh the Horror
Keep Me in Suspense
Feels like Sci-Fi
Isn't it Romantic
So-called Comedies
Western Unions
Comic Book Heroes
Kid Stuff
Fact not Fiction
Cinema Fantastico (Subtitles)
Just Seen
A Monster Calls
(2016) Conor is 12 years old, his life one of torment. Small & pale, he’s pummeled by bullies in
school, while at home his mom lays in bed, sick with terminal
cancer. He has no one. And then one night a giant shadow of sticks
appears at his window… is it a good or bad monster? Like most living things, somewhere
in between. Filled with heartache
and fire, imagination & truth, this was both a work of love and work of art. My grade: A
Big Hero 6 (2014) Disney's
at the top of their game (and then some) in this action-packed tale of
Hiro Hamada, 14 year old prodigy and an inflatable healthcare robot
named Baymax. When tragedy befalls his family, Hiro sets out to save
the day--and learns he's not so alone after all. Hugely imaginative,
told with real heart & genuine humor, Disney wins again--as do
we. My grade: A
The Jungle Book
(2016) Disney’s stunning (and often scary real) live action retelling
of their 1967 classic is a real spectacle, and I mean that in the best
way. Christopher Walken sings ‘I Wanna
Be Like You’? Scarlett Johansson as the
giant snake singing ‘Trust in Me’?? Talk
about inspired casting! (I liked the
man-cub too, he reminded me of a young Jack Wild.) I think this would frighten small children,
but it’s still a beautiful watch. My
grade: B Plus
Despicable
Me 3 (2017) After former baddie-turned-good guy Gru fails
to defeat 80’s child star villain Bratt (love this retro bad guy) and is fired by the
Anti-Villain League, he discovers he has a twin brother (Dru) who aspires to be
a master villain like their dad. Can Dru
get Gru on board? Yes and no, in this
goofy-ass romp. This isn’t laugh out
loud like the first, but it’s still childish fun for you and your
preschooler. UGH—minions no more! My grade: B
The Secret Life of Pets (2016) Max
is one happy little terrier--until the day his owner brings home a big
brown mongrel named Duke. This means war! They'll be forced to team up
though, after crossing paths with an angry horde of abandoned pets led
by one badass bunny rabbit. Y'know, I wasn't expecting to chuckle this
much... but kid's movie or not, there's some crazy-ass critters here! My grade: B
Jack and the Cuckoo-Clock Heart (2013) On
a bitter night in 1874 Scotland, Jack is born with a frozen heart which
is replaced with a tiny cuckoo-clock; he's warned to never lose his
temper or fall in love. So what happens when he meets Miss Acacia? A
wildly imaginative French fable, rich in art and song--but don't expect a
Disney formula, folks. My grade: B
Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (2016) After
the death of his grandpa, Jake convinces his dad to take them to Europe
to visit the children's home where his grandpa was raised--alas, it's a
crumbling relic, bombed by the Nazis in 1943. Or was it? The home and
it's peculiar inhabitants still exist in a time loop--and they need
Jake's help! It's a children's story masquerading as something darker,
but it's still Harry Potter meets Tim Burton. My grade: C Plus
Cinderella (2015) Disney
brings a princess to life in this colorful retelling of the classic
fairy tale. Lily James as Cinderella (and Cate Blanchett as her evil
stepmother) were inspired casting, but this should've been a musical,
not just a romp for 8 year old girls to sigh & giggle over. It's a sweet watch, but I kept rewriting various scenes in my head. My grade: C Plus
Mr.Peabody & Sherman (2014) I wonder who this was made for... adults who watched these two go on
hilarious trips back in time in 60s toons? No, those were a riot and
this was too long, too noisy. Kids today? No, too many inside jokes and
historical references that would go over their heads. Colorful, cloying,
annoying. My grade: C Plus
Mary Poppins Returns (2018) The Banks children are grown now, and in danger of losing their father's home. Emily Blunt to the rescue! Doug, you mean Mary Poppins.
Quite right. She’s glib enough, and with Bert the Chimney Sweeper’s
grown son will take the Banks’ kids on noisy, copycat adventures of the
1964 original. You know, that stuff you put up with before, for the
great songs & Julie Andrews, neither of which are here. Just
lots of Disney money. My grade: C
The Peanuts Movie (2015) Doug
you blockhead--why did you rent this movie?? Charlie Brown and
the Peanuts gang are back, and they're drawn nice enough, but after 20
minutes or so it just gets tiresome. Maybe 4-8 year olds would feel
differently... it's just bland, colorful nonsense. Rats. My grade: C
Inside Out (2015) When
her family moves to San Francisco, 11 year old Riley must leave behind
everything she knows. She'll go thru the whole gamut of emotions, each
seen as a crazy little character jumping around in her head. This is
Freud for kids run amuck, it's noisy & colorful but with
concepts too complex for little ones to appreciate. Thank God it's
over--until puberty at least. My grade: C
Christopher Robin (2018)
As a child he played in the Hundred Acre Wood with Winnie the Pooh,
Piglet, Tigger…but now he’s Ewan McGregor, lives in gloomy 1940s London
and is a stuffy adult! Pooh to the rescue, to help him reclaim the
stupidity of youth. Y’know, this sounded like a barfarama but I thought
“Surely Disney has something clever up their sleeve…” They didn’t. Why Ewan, why. Christopher it’s Pooh. He got that right. My grade: C-