The Elephant in the Room—the big, black elephant in the room

 

Being a small apartment dweller, there are times I regret not owning a house.  Now would be one of those times.  I think people who live in houses take their space for granted, and even people in smaller houses who complain of needing more space still have a cellar or attic or garage that can hold those old suitcases or record collections or whatever else they’re not ready to part with but don’t want to live with anymore.  And dammit I don’t have that luxury.

I suppose there’s a plus side to not being able to accumulate stuff—less junk to have to deal with, and it helps to budget your spending (even when you don’t think you need to budget).  Would I like to have one of those countertop convection ovens or bread makers I saw at Macy’s?  Yes!  Do I have the counter or cupboard space for them?  Nope, not a square inch.

I’m dealing with this space issue as I speak; back in the late ‘90s, shortly after I moved in here, I bought one of these big-ass “bookshelf stereos” from Crutchfield.  Oh I could’ve bought something much less expensive locally, but I was in my mid-30s and had gone without a decent system most of my life & felt I deserved it.

Feed me!  (The thing has always looked hungry to me)  Anyway, it has a double cassette deck, an 8-disc CD changer & includes two remotes (one is even still in the plastic)

I took excellent care of it, it looks & sounds as new now as it did then.  But I haven’t owned any cassettes in years, and I became a lot more comfortable playing CDs in my car.  And my music collection became a lot easier to listen to on my laptop or the little MP3 player that holds 8000 songs & fits in my shirt pocket.

It’s still pretty to LOOK at, but two springs ago I bought some new bookcases for my apartment & I’m getting anxious to put them up.  (They’re still unassembled & stacked beside my bed.)  They’re much taller then the one this (long silent) stereo sits on but the shelves aren’t as deep.  Once I get them up, there won’t be any room in here for this humungous knick-knack.

This past summer, my sister said “Just put the thing in your laundry room, someone will snap it right up.”  Oh I KNOW they will--a couple years ago, I lugged my old tv cabinet out into the hallway (it weighed 100 lbs) and made a sign to hang in the lobby: 

DARK CHERRY & SMOKE GLASS TV CABINET – FREE IF YOU CAN HAUL IT

I took the sign downstairs, hung it in the lobby, came back upstairs—and five minutes later the hallway was empty!  That 100 lb. box was GONE.  So if this elephant of mine didn’t have such a loud roar, I’d be fine with Shawn’s suggestion; but I’ve since learned that the walls here aren’t as soundproof as I believed (my gay neighbors have let me know this, the boys are real Beyonce fans) and the last thing I need is that Russian chick who moved into the unit next door getting her hands on my noisemaker.  I’ll throw it in the dumpster first!

I suppose I could put it on Craigslist… can I specify it’s not available to anyone who lives within earshot?  Oh forget that, I don’t want the next Craigslist Killer knowing where I live. 

I wish I could go back in time & ask my younger self what he did with that first stereo of his; he’d probably take the current one off my hands too.