Sunday, August 9, 2026

Why do we believe death comes in threes? Well, because it often does

Several days ago I was informed that "Bingo Joe" from the Senior Center had recently passed.  I actually knew Joe long before joining the center in 2023, he lived in my apartment building.  

I'd often see him downstairs in the lobby, just kicking back and chillin'.  I'd say "Whaddya know, Joe" and he always smiled and nodded at me.

At the center, I only saw him on Mondays & Fridays when he arrived to call the Bingo numbers after lunch.  I have to tell you, the Bingo crowd is a FAR different crowd than the regulars that are there daily.  A few minutes before noon, the players show up with their various doodads and such, and mark their spots while people are still eating.  We knew to high-tail it out of there before Bingo Joe started calling out numbers at 12:15 sharp.  

One time a couple years ago, my friend Geri was explaining Aetna Medicare to me, and it was 3 minutes to Bingo.  Bingo Joe quietly came up behind Geri and began scooting her chair back from the table while she shouted "Hey, Hey!!  I wasn't done!"  Bingo Joe said "You are now!"   RIP Joe. 

A few days after learning of Bingo Joe's demise, I learned of the recent passing of Sil Confortini.  I haven't seen Mr. Confortini since 1979, but remembered him quite well.

Mr. Confortini was my junior high school Social Studies teacher in 1973-1974.  Truth be told, there's not a lot of things to share about Social Studies, but I remember him always dressing very well.  Always crisp dress shirts and modern ties, and a hint of aftershave.  His son Dean was in my class, we graduated together.  Dean always came to school dressed well too.

Mr. Confortini in the early 1970s, precisely how I remember him

One thing I remember clearly, I had his class at 6th period after lunch.  As he would go on about things like Brazilian exports, I would sometimes get a little dozey.

One time he suddenly stopped lecturing and said "Mr. Morris, I wish you would stop using my classroom for your nap times."  No one laughed, the other kids just turned and looked at me.  I was so embarrassed!

Mr. Confortini graduated from Jefferson Morgan High School in 1949, went to college, returned and taught there for 36 years.  He died of natural causes, a few weeks before his 96th birthday.  That is quite a life.

Finally, I just learned of this one yesterday while getting a haircut--it affected me the most.


This is not a recent picture of Denice.  Her hair was mostly gray like mine, and she wore it pulled back in a ponytail and wore glasses.  She worked at Kuhn's for as long as I can remember, often in the small office near the registers where I would buy stamps or get money for my apartment building's laundry machine.  

I don't want to sound mean, but I always assumed Denice was in her early to mid-70s.  She was slender, but a heavy smoker and in the last year had developed a bad cough.  Last Friday while working, she had a sudden heart attack and dropped to the floor.  When the paramedics arrived, she was already dead.  She was only 62 years old.

She was a wife and grandmother, and had 3 adult children.  I was just talking to her on Wednesday, two days before her passing.  I said her cough was sounding better and she said it should be, she'd had it since December.  It's difficult to believe she's gone... at least she didn't suffer.  

Three people I didn't know well, but still knew well enough.  I just felt compelled to share something.  Thanks for reading.

32 comments:

  1. A very nice tribute to three individuals who touched your life in some way. Two lives, well lived and one life ending way too soon.This is a good reminder that we just never know, so we should all live every day as fully as possible.🫶🏻🌻Kimba

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    1. Thank you Kimba, exactly how I felt and so nicely said.

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  2. You are entering that stage of life when so many of your contemporaries and companions will saunter off this planet. It IS hard to lose so many. Last year we had 8 deaths in our orbit.

    The two gentlemen lived very long, and sounds like, productive lives. It's too bad Denice had her life cut short. And to have been ill the last few months is also sad. Sounds like, though, that she worked right up to the end. That has always been my wish, to die at the end of a productive day.

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    1. Thanks dkzody, and yes it is unfortunate about Denice. 62 is too young, but I would certainly want my time to be sudden as well.

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  3. There is definitely some truth to the old sayings. Another one my aunt used to say is that more people die prior to the leaves falling (or winter's arrival).
    As other's have said, the men lived long lives while Denice did not. One of the reason's I retired early was due to a co-worker who died much like Denice, a sudden unforseen death. With a family history of heart attack and stroke, I am determined to enjoy every day as much as I can (as the old saying goes - death waits for no one.)
    On a less somber note, who will call the bingo numbers now?

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    1. Thanks for sharing Maebeme, and I'm glad you were able to retire early. I can't help but feel Denice's heart attack was tied to her smoking, but I didn't really know her. As for the bingo calls, gosh I don't know... I've only been to the center once since last Sept because of my long covid. I'm sure they found someone.

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  4. No matter how old they are, it's shocking and strange when people we know die. They're there one moment and gone the next. My parents, particularly my dad, seemed indestructible. That wasn't the case. :( When I talk about death and ponder the ways to go, I keep coming back to those who die peacefully in their sleep. How do I sign up for that?

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    1. Thank you Margaret, and I so agree. Let it be quick, and let it be quiet. I still can't believe it about Denice though.

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  5. Doug, the two gentlemen certainly had long lives but Denice died way too young. I am the same age as her. When Chuck was recently at our dentist discussing the cost of his new implant the (young) dentist said “Are you sure you want to spend the money? Statistically you only have ten more years to live” Chuck told him that he intends to live a heck of a lot longer than ten years! But you never know. I know my dad sure wanted to live beyond 78. My poor mum lingered in poor health. Like you and Margaret please let me die quick and quietly.❤️❤️

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    1. Robin, I'm in shock--I can't believe what Chuck's dentist said. I think this blog post is a perfect example that Chuck could go on another 30 years! Anyway my friend, thank you for sharing and I did think of people I knew like yourself and my sister, the same age as Denice. I'm very glad you don't smoke. 🧡💜

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    2. I was so ticked off when he said that! You just wait until you are in your 60’s buddy!🤬

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    3. LOL! At the risk of sounding dated, "Robin you go girl" 😄

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    4. I would be looking for a new dentist ASAP after a comment like that. And I'd let that young man know exactly WHY I was leaving. Ugh.

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    5. You're right, thanks Jennifer!

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  6. A beautiful tribute to these three people - even if only briefly part of your life their candle burned . When this happens I often feel reflective

    A dear friend of mine is 70 next Sunday - she is feeling sad and aware that she has more life behind her than ahead . She doesn’t want to celebrate her birthday really - but has agreed to a glass or two of champagne at my cottage . I want to mark her birthday - she always wears red lipstick so as a treat I have bought her a lipstick from Chanel
    - you are only 70 once
    Siobhan
    Ps have a date for my knee consultation with the surgeons- September 9. 🤕

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    1. Thank you Siobhan, lovely said and that is very nice what you're doing for your friend. 70 doesn't sound so old anymore! And I am keeping my fingers crossed for your knee consultation. Knees and hips... scary. 😟

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  7. Death can certainly occur unexpectedly. A few years ago THREE people I knew were murdered within a few weeks of each other. A neighbor, a former co-employee and a guy who had done some work on our house. We lived in a small southern town….not a violent area or a big city. It was very upsetting.

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    1. Thanks for sharing Anon, but omigod, that’s TOO unexpected. Still, you're right. You just never know. 😔

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  8. Great stories about all three people. Joe sounds like a lot of fun. I know what you mean about Bingo. Our high school athletic boosters got a bingo license from the state when my kids were in sports and held a weekly bingo. The first time I worked I came home and told my husband there is a parallel universe we know nothing about. I was blown away first by the amount of money spent and second by the seriousness of the game. We ended up as bingo volunteers for many years after the all the kids graduated. I still shook my head every week. (sorry bingo people).
    It sounds like Mr Confortini was a great example of a professional teacher. Maybe not the warm fuzzy librarian type, but a person very serious about teaching his passion.
    I feel so bad about the loss of Denise. She sounds like a hard worker and I am sorry she will never be able to retire and enjoy her later years. What a shock to her co-workers and her customers. I don't mean to lessen the loss of the others, but she was so young.
    Thanks for sharing their stories.

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    1. Thank you for sharing Miss Merry, well said as always. Your Bingo story made me smile (so true) and yes about Denice. So unfair. And you're right, I did talk to a couple if her coworkers, they are heartbroken. 😔

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  9. Doug,
    The deaths of three of your acquaintances has really touched me. I have gone through deaths of family members, friends, classmates, neighbors and co workers throughout my lifetime. I would feel melancholic for a while after the funeral, and vow never to take life for granted because we don't know when our time will come. RIP Joe, Sil, & Denice.
    Steve from Toronto

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    1. Thank you Steve, a few years ago I decided to start a "Memory" category on my blog for various people that touched me in different ways. Learning of the deaths of these 3 all in one week... I can't explain it, but I'm glad you get it. 🙂

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  10. That happened to me last year but it was only two people.
    A good friend of mine (I’ve known since the sixties) who died of a heart attack after a life time of smoking.
    A good friend of Norma’s (the A.M.) who she went to school with and kept in touch all her life. Serious dementia.
    Both were in their late seventies.
    I guess I’ll (we’ll) have to expect this from now on.

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    1. Thanks for sharing Peter, and I'm sorry for the ones you knew. I'm guessing Denice early death was from her smoking, Norma's friend and the dementia frightens me more than anything. 😔

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  11. Dug, so sorry to hear about the three recent deaths. It's always hard... and feels a bit strange when people you know are suddenly 'gone'... and having three pass so close together is a bit... what's the word? upsetting? I've lost family and friends over the years and it's always hard... especially if they were young. Now at 81 - I find the losses harder as there are few left and you don't want to lose the few remaining.
    And I laughed at what the dentist said in Robin's post - not because it was funny, but because it's just what I thought recently when the Endodonist let me know that I needed another dental procedure. She didn't say it though... I just thought it.
    And as for Bingo, we walk at the Senior Center while Bingo is going on... and I've always thought it seems a bit busy and intense (but have never played).

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    1. Rian, thank you and I hope you know how much I look forward to your comments here. You say things so well. I haven't seen my teacher in years of course, but I did see Bingo Joe and Denice both, a few times a week and it is strange, knowing they're gone. And I'm glad you liked Robin's post, I did too--Chuck is around my age! Anyway, I suppose life goes on for all of us....

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  12. I wish you a nice Monday, I miss the translator :))

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    1. Zelo si prijazen/a, tudi tebi lep ponedeljek 🙂

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  13. I miss old-school type teachers like Mr. Confortini. Nicely dressed and professional and serious about their job. He had a good, long life. I'm sorry about the loss of Denise. With her smoking habit and lingering cough I wonder if she had undiagnosed lung cancer. Often a lingering cough is the only symptom even when it's advanced. Early 60s is WAY too young. RIP to her.

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    1. Thanks Jennifer, nicely said about Mr. Confortini. Oh that's right, you would know as you work in a school. As for Denice, that's a good question. I was wondering if she had undiagnosed high blood pressure as well. 😔

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  14. Gigi Hawaii. RIP. They lived. They died. Of the three, I like the teacher the most. He seemed so refined.

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    1. Thanks Gigi, and yes he was a refined character. I know you like that in a person.

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