Corny as it sounds, friendship really is the best medicine

Last Friday evening, I was sitting here on my couch wondering what to do.  I was tired of looking at the TV, tired of looking at the internet, didn’t feel like picking up a book and was trying not to think about my sore jaw.  On a whim I picked up my phone, dialed my friend Erin’s number and was surprised when she picked up—“Hello Doug!” 

Erin and a 25 lbs heavier me from my last day in the office 4 years ago

I said “Erin?  What are you doing home on a Friday night?”  She said “I’m getting old Doug, I don’t have the energy to run around like I used to!”

(Erin’s in her early 40s, 15 years younger than me.)  I asked if she felt like talking, she said sure and as we began chatting, my TMD got angry and said “what the heck do you think you’re doing, Doug”  as my left masseter began to swell, closing off my salivary gland.  I was close to saying “Erin, bad idea—nevermind”  but I just—didn’t—care.  It had been a pretty rough day already (I’d walked to the store earlier, had a dizzy spell and fell against a US mailbox on my way home) and was feeling pretty sorry for myself.

We wound up on the phone for a good 4 hours.  It was probably the best Friday night (for my heart & mind, at least) I’ve had in months.

I first met Erin in 2007 when she joined my work-group at UPMC (but it feels like I’ve known her a lot longer).  She sat directly across the aisle from me, and surprised me one day when she began sharing her love of all things ‘Star Wars’.  What the—a girl who’s a sci-fi geek like me??   We’d often recount (crying & laughing) the previous night’s episode of Big Bang Theory to one another, and I still laugh when she asked me one day what I thought of The Walking Dead and I told her I had no need for zombies; I’d never seen it.  She said “DOOG!!  (Her nickname for me.)  YOU MUST WATCH!!”

She was right, of course—it became my No.1 favorite show for many years.

She left the company several years later, then returned (to a different department) a couple years after that, but we never lost touch.

Erin & myself at Fathead’s, our favorite hamburger place on the Southside in happier times

I don’t think we’ve ever had a typical friendship, whatever that is.  I have a couple people I’m close to—my sisters Shawn & Courtney, my friend Danielle—who I pretty much keep in daily contact with via email.

If either doesn’t hear from me in a couple days, they’ll be quick to reach out and ask what’s going on.

Erin & I can go weeks—a couple months even—without hearing from one another and unlike my sisters & Danielle, we don’t text or email one another.  But we get on that phone, and talk like we just saw each other yesterday.   She’s funny, sweet, open with her feelings… a terrific listener. 

If there’s a pause in our conversation, she always seems to know just what to jump to next.  I think that’s what I like about our calls best.  (Every other person I know uses that moment of silence to let me know I’ve rambled on long enough!)

I know a couple times in our past, others have asked me or joked about us pursuing something romantic.  I can’t imagine it, neither could she.  But I had no problem asking her if she’d seen the movie Friends with Benefits when it came out a few years ago, and what she thought of the idea!

I can’t remember where I was going with this… to be honest, my brain has been a little fuzzy lately.  As this uncomfortable jaw disorder stretches into it’s 11th month (I’m very much hoping it’s in the home stretch), it sometimes inflames the temporal muscles on the sides of my head and gives me a hot, tingling panicky feeling.  The jaw isn’t enough for you, TMD?

That all-night chat with Erin didn’t exactly do wonders for my jaw…  but it was just what the doctor ordered.

Erin, if you’re reading this… thanks again.