My mom always had the nicest stationery (and a real love for nature and hummingbirds) and the most beautiful handwriting. In this letter, she was thanking me for my contribution to Dad's headstone, and her Mother's Day gifts.
There's no date on the note, but when she congratulated me for passing my driver's exam, I knew when this was written. I wasn't able to get my driver's license at 16 like most kids, because I was diagnosed with epilepsy a couple years prior. In the state of Pennsylvania, you had to be documented seizure free for a certain amount of time (2 or 3 years, I can't remember) before you could drive.
My final seizure was in Nov 1989, when I was 28 years old. By the time I was eligible to get my license I was in my early thirties and had learned to get by in life without the need for a car. But when Dad passed in February 2001, I told my mom at his funeral that as soon as I got back to the city I was going to sign up for driving lessons and have a car by that summer.
I kept my word and got my license (and a car) 4 months before my 40th birthday. I was able to start driving back home on a regular basis, and got to spend a lot of weekends with Mom.
Sad to say, but it was Dad's passing which motivated me to learn so Mom wouldn't be so alone. Here is Dad's headstone (with his mother, my Grandma Morris directly behind his) in our family's cemetery. My mom's headstone is now besides Dad.
Love you, Mom & Dad.
OMG her beautiful handwriting, as wonderful to see as a forgotten photograph of her would be. I have a note from her saved as well, for different reason, but it means so much.
ReplyDeleteThanks Shawn, I knew you'd appreciate this as much as I do. :^)
DeleteA sweet but sad memory.
ReplyDeleteYour family plot looks to be in a lovely setting.
Thank you Marty. Our family has a private cemetery (going back to the 1700s) high up in the hills of my hometown.
DeleteWhat a special and lovely note! Your mom did have gorgeous handwriting. My mom hated writing, so I don't have any letters or cards from her, except ones that are simply signed, "Love, Mom." I didn't realize that you had had epilepsy; you're fine now?
ReplyDeleteThanks Margaret, you're very kind--and yep I believe the epilepsy stuff is behind me. After my last brain scan in 1994, I was finally taken off the anti-seizure meds. :^)
DeleteDug, I agree that your mom had a lovely handwriting. And reading cards and letters from family that are no longer with us is a gift. Also, it's wonderful that you were able to get your license and drive to visit your mom after your dad died. I'm sure that meant the world to her. I also agree that your family's private cemetery looks so nice and peaceful. As for your past epilepsy... are your present doctors aware of this (I'm sure they are, just curious). Wonder if this has any connection to your LC?
ReplyDeleteRian, you are a dear. What thoughtful feedback, thank you! Great question too, yes they saw the cluster of activity in my left frontal lobe during my MRI 2 years ago and asked if I had a seizure history, and said long covid will go after compromised areas in the brain, heart or lungs. You're a smart cookie. 🙂❤️
DeleteHi Doug,
ReplyDeleteThis post was very touching. What a wonderful mom you had - all her love shows in that letter she wrote to you. I'm glad your epilepsy is in the past; it's an affliction that makes life very difficult. Take care.
Steve from Toronto
Thank you for your kind words Steve, they're much appreciated. It’s always good to hear from you, I hope you're doing well. 🙂
DeleteHi Doug, What a treasure! And like Marty the word “sweet” as in how sweet came immediately to mind.
ReplyDeleteMike TX
Thank you Mike! You're very kind. Hope you're having a nice Saturday. 🙂
DeleteThis is exquisite Doug - and bittersweet . It’s astonishing how reading a letter ( rare these days ) takes us right back to that moment - and what a wonderful letter it is
ReplyDeleteSiobhan
Thank you so much Siobhan, you have a nice way with words yourself. :^)
DeleteMy mum and dad’s ashes are scattered in a park. They both liked to grow things and were very successful at it. I thought that was appropriate.
ReplyDeleteGoodness, you were even older than I was when I got my licence – I was 28.
My folks didn’t have a car, so there was no incentive for me. Going out on dates, the girls were all really happy to drive, so they had control and didn’t have some testosterone charged youth driving, who also might have had a drink or several.
Then I married and my wife drove. She left (after not very long at all) and although there were (and still are) excellent public transport around where I lived (a train, a couple of tram routes and several buses) I decided to bite the bullet and learn to drive. I’ve been at it for more than 50 years now.
Good for you Peter, better late than never. Since moving to the city in 1987, I was always surprised how many people I knew who never drove or never had kids. At least I conquered one of those. 😏
DeleteYou are a good son. I know that the time you got with her meant a lot. After all, I am a mom too.
ReplyDeleteDebby, that was very nice of you to say, thank you. ❤️🙂
DeleteWhat a lovely headstone. The piano is wonderful. And more so, what a sweet note from your mother. I am glad you had kept it in the box with your memory photos. I tear up when I find recipes in my mother's handwriting. I even have some recipe cards in my grandmother's handwriting but I am pretty sure I don't have any wonderful notes like this.
ReplyDeleteMy husband came from a city in New York state where most women did not drive. When we got engaged and I went back with him to meet the family, his aunts were aghast that, not only did I drive, I owned my own car! And most of them never had a driver's license, even when their kids grew up and they went to work outside the home. Their husbands or fathers would drive them to work! Times have changed.
With my own kids I always said, if they are not comfortable driving, I am not comfortable with them driving either. I think the oldest that one got thier license was 22. Which in a rural community is old these days.
Thanks very much Miss Merry, my dad (when he wasn't working in coal shaft construction) was a musician (sang and played the piano). I'm glad you appreciated the note, I have a couple recipe cards (and a couple longer letters) from my grandma too which mean a lot to me. And that is too funny about your hubby's aunts, you were a modern woman alright!
DeleteMy mother's hand writing was very like this - must have been a teaching protocol at the time? I remember getting terrible grades in "penmanship" because I just didn't have the hand/eye coordination to make my writing look like the ideal samples. What a waste of time and energy!
ReplyDeleteCeci
Haha thanks for sharing Ceci--well, I had much better handwriting in my younger years, now it looks like Chinese. I guess they don't even teach handwriting in school anymore, we're going extinct!
DeleteThat is so wonderful that you kept the note (even if you didn't remember doing so). I have a note from my mom, that she typed a few years before she passed away, as she'd had a stroke and her handwriting was nearly illegible. It was short as she made errors and she didn't care for that at all! But I'll treasure it.
ReplyDeleteIn response to the previous comment, they haven't taught handwriting for some time - my son prints pretty much everything (and he's 38!) I recall we had two summer students one year and one of them received a piece of handwritten correspondence and they required assistance from their team leader to actually read it!
Thank you Maebeme, and that was so sweet to read about your own mom's typed letter. The only thing that matters is, it came from your mom. And that's amazing about them no longer teaching writing, I didn't know. What about one's signature? Oh well!
DeleteSuch a good, good son. Her handwriting was exquisite! Love that you have a family plot in the high hills. Looks like a lovely place to linger while living too. Thanks for sharing. Kim in PA
ReplyDeleteKim you are so sweet, this was so nicely said. Thank you. 🙂
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