There’s strength in numbers, both good and bad: and I’m no longer just one

Last night I was sitting here in my teepee, glad it was Friday with the weekend ahead and watching a pretty moving ‘20/20’ about the return of Robin Roberts (after her life threatening battle with MDS) when I suddenly heard a loud crashing sound and my floor shake a bit.

I wasn’t surprised in the least—it’s a Friday night, the gay pair who are my next door neighbors are having another one of their godawful fights. 

I can hear the taller one shouting over and over (and over):  “You’re calling me a f-cking whore??  You’re calling me a f-cking whore!?”  More crashes, more thuds.  I’m actually a little surprised, they just had their weekly blowout two nights ago when the same one screamed “YOUR ASS IS USELESSSSS!!!” (followed with the obligatory crashes and thuds).   I told my sister Shawn just two days ago “I actually don’t mind their fighting, ‘cuz I can go to bed with the hopes they’ll kill each other--what bothers me is the constant other crap.”  

The noisome duo:  yeah I admit it, I did searches of them online to get a better idea of who I’m dealing with.  Lots of photos, not much else

And then I found a kindred spirit.   It was 12:30am, I was preparing to go to bed and plugging in my earphones (I have a ‘white noise’ app that drowns this pair out nicely) when I suddenly hear banging in the hallway outside my apartment.  I jumped out of bed, slipped on a pair of pants & opened my front door.   Some guy is standing there in a t-shirt and boxers in front of my neighbors door, looking pissed off and ready to murder someone.

I said  “Do you know those two?”  He said  “No I live right below them.  Hi, my name is Matt.”  I shook his hand and introduced myself.  Matt says “Doug, these two are driving me NUTS, I can’t take it anymore.”   I tell him I understand, and I’m sorry someone else has to go thru all of this too.  (And I really am, but at the same time I’m relieved to know I’m not alone.)   Matt bangs on their door again. Again.  They won’t answer.  I said “They stopped answering my knocks months ago.”   Matt says “Yeah me too!”   We start talking, everything that Matt says is everything I’ve been thinking since this awful pair moved in here six months ago.  “I miss the guy who lived here before.”  “Seems like it’s every night.”  “They don’t care about anyone else here.”  “I should’ve called the police months ago.”

We’re both just standing there.  Now what?  Matt says “I’m calling the police.”  I shout at the door—“hey guys, answer your door or we’re calling the police!”  No response.  Shuffling sounds within. Matt says “Be right back.”

He goes downstairs, returns with his smartphone. Calls the police, gives a good description of what’s been going on.  They say they’re coming right over. Sure enough, 5 minutes later 3 policemen show up.  We introduce ourselves. 

(At first, they think we’re a couple.  One of the cops asks if we had a falling out with the pair or something, and warns us it could be a ‘couple said vs. couple said’ situation.  When Matt tells them he just met me 15 minutes ago, he lives below them and I live next door to them, the one cop says “Geez I’m sorry—so this is MULTIPLE complaints!”  Uh… yeah!)

One officer says “Did you try asking them to keep it down?”  Matt says “Not tonight, but before, yes.”  I say the same.  The officer says “What about tonight, didn’t feel like asking anymore?”  Matt says “I tried, I’ve been knocking on their door for 10 minutes.”  The cop BANGS on the door.  No answer.  Bangs again & says “OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOW, BELLEVUE POLICE!!!”

Finally the door opens—the tall one is calmly standing there. “Yes officers, is there a problem?”   One cop sticks his head in and says “Oh wow.”  (I’m not sure why, was he impressed with their place or did he see a lot of broken glass?)  The other cop says “WHAT is going on here.”  I hear “Oh, me and my boyfriend had a fight, we’re good now, thanks.”  The cop says “Where is your boyfriend.”  He replies “In bed, hahaha it’s late…” and the officer says “GO GET HIM.”

The dude returns with his so-called sleepy partner.  One of the cops say “We’re getting multiple complaints about this apartment, IT STOPS NOW.”   The dude says “Oh that can’t be, this is our first fight!” and the cop replies “OH NO ITS NOT and the next time one of us knocks on your door, you’re getting a $390.00 citation for disturbing the peace, and the time AFTER THAT WE DONT LEAVE WITHOUT YOU DO YOU GET MY DRIFT.”  The boy says “Of course, I’m just mystified—“ and the cop says “SO WE’RE GOOD NOW, RIGHT?”   I hear “Yes, of course…”   (Yeah right!)  

As the police were leaving, Matt & I thanked them for getting here so quickly and one of them says “How long has this been going on?”  We both say “Months”.  The officer says “Did you contact your building management?”  Matt said no and I said I did awhile back, but they said they couldn’t interfere, call the police.  The officer asks for the building’s owner and says goodnight. 

Oh, I know this isn’t over… but at least now, it’s two against two.