Meanwhile, this just happened a couple minutes ago and I felt like sharing

 

This is certainly nothing to write home (or blog) about, but I’ve lived in this apartment building here since the mid-90’s and I suppose there’s a first time for everything.

So a little earlier today, I run to the store and I’m not home from the market five minutes when there’s a loud knock on my door.

 

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

ME: Er… yes?  (It’s my gay neighbor’s new live-in boyfriend.  A handsome guy—he’s also like 7 feet tall.)

My neighbor (in the orange) & his new fella at the Gay Pride Festival downtown; and no, I didn’t take this picture--I stole it off their Facebook!

HIM: Hi!  Hey, you know me right?  I live next door!

ME: Yeah… you’re my neighbor’s new boyfr—I mean roommate.

HIM: Right!  Hey, I need to ask you a REALLY crazy question!

ME: Uh-oh…

HIM: What is it, Is something wrong?

ME:  Well, when someone I don’t know says they need to ask me a really crazy question… what do you want??

HIM: A-HA, HA, HA!  OK!  Well… I locked myself out, and I was wondering if I could jump off your balcony?  Then I’ll just shimmy across the railing until I get to MINE.  Dummy me, I forgot my keys again!  (Slaps his forehead)

ME: Waitaminute, how can you lock yourself out?  You can’t lock the door from the outside unless you have your key.

HIM: (Shrugs his shoulders)  I don’t know!  These things happen to me ALL THE TIME. 

ME: But—but we’re on the top floor, if you fall you’d break your neck!  Isn’t there someone you can call? 

HIM: Oh, don’t worry—I’ve done this a hundred times!

ME: What are you, a cat burglar?!

HIM: A-HA, HA, HA!!  More like a forget-me-not!

ME: Uh-huh.  Listen, can’t you just wait until your partner gets home?  You can use my bathroom if you gotta go…

HIM: He won’t be back until later in the week, like Thursday!

ME: Ah okay…

HIM: He’s back home in West Virginia.

ME:  Ok.

HIM: Visiting family.

ME:  Yes, yes.  Got it.

HIM: I didn’t go, or course.  But I could’ve! 

ME:  So… you ready to jump? 

HIM: You’re going to let me do it?

ME:  Yes!

Suffice it to say he made it--The End