In case you haven’t noticed, the blog I posted yesterday has been taken down. (I actually wanted to remove it several hours after I put it online, but was unable to as we had a big storm here in Pittsburgh and lost our power for 8-10 hours.)
It involved the recent obituary of an unpleasant teacher I had 50 years ago (and all the unpleasant memories I had of said person).
I didn’t mean for it to become such a negative piece. I included another (male) teacher I liked very much, along with an example of my mom’s awesomeness back then—but it ultimately became too much a “poison pen” post.
This IS a personal blog, and while I don’t think every post I write needs to be filled with sunshine & lollipops, I’d rather save all that bad energy for more constructive purposes.
To my friends out there who took the time to read my blog and leave those wonderful comments, and my sister Shawn who sent me a really terrific email about it, thanks so much. I’m a lucky guy to know all of you.
Of all the hateful, horrible things one can read online these days, there was really nothing wrong with what you wrote. The way children were treated in the 1960s would appall any child advocate today and many, many teachers from that era were merely task masters and believed in corporal punishment. Perhaps you shouldn't have mentioned his name but otherwise, the post was fine, sometimes the truth does indeed hurt!
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, taking it down was another excellent tribute to your mom who obviously raised a wonderful, honorable son!
You're very kind (and right on about using his name, I worried one of his relatives would see it). Thanks Bobi. 🙂
DeleteWhat you wrote hurt me because it had hurt you. Bullying is never pretty and perhaps using his name might have hurt some family members who are probably kind caring people. I understand your taking it down but hope it was cathartic for you to write it.
ReplyDeletePatti it WAS cathartic because of genuine, kind friends like yourself who frankly said just what I needed to hear. I'm really glad I know you. 🙂
DeleteI hear you loud and clear.
ReplyDeleteHaha, thanks Gigi. 👍
DeleteI like reading different perspectives and stories so I was intrigued by the post. But if you felt uncomfortable with it, then you did the right thing. Your blog, your post. I read the whole obit on-line and he ended up being a principal (what often happened to authoritarian teachers) and had a large family. I found it interesting that, with that many children, he wasn't kind to those who didn't fit his ideas of "macho." I'm sure he found other children to bully, boys and girls alike who didn't fit his standards of masculinity/femininity.
ReplyDeleteMargaret.. what a great comment, I love the analysis! Thank you!! 🙂👍
DeleteOur Dug? Negative? Nasty? I don't believe it for a moment. Probably a unhappy memory recounted. I think that sometimes recounting unhappy memories is productive. Sometimes it isn't. I think you are the best judge of that.
ReplyDeleteWell, when you put it that way! Thank you Debby that was very nice of you to say. It's appreciated.
DeleteDoug, I see nothing wrong with your post yesterday but I do see the sad example of the behavior of some teachers in that time period. I am very sorry you had to deal with that teacher for a whole school year. I understand you posting it and I understand you taking it down. I see the blog world as a place for friends to get together and share our life experiences. Those experiences naturally involve the good, and the bad. I hope that by sharing this you are able to release some of that pain and maybe even put this behind you. You are a good man Doug! 👍 💗
ReplyDeleteThank you Bonnie you're a very kind person. In fact, you inspire some of my actions at times. I mean, to be less petty and more thoughtful. But I appreciate you saying it's okay to share the good and not so good. To be honest, I enjoy it when someone feels the need to vent or such! 🙂
DeleteAlthough I don't think it was wrong per se, I do try to limit the amount of stuff that I post that is easily searchable in case someone else might seek out information on a person and stumble upon what I have written. It is so easy to take things out of context (which on a blog could stretch over years) by simply reading one post and taking it verbatim. You were probably safe since it was an old obituary but had you written the post when it was fresh and a family member found and read it, there may have been some hurt feelings.
ReplyDeleteI do agree with you Ed. I did wrestle with this to be honest, before I posted it yesterday. But even if I had whited out his name on that screen print I shared, I just didn't like the feeling it left me with. And I hold grudges for too long! 😟
DeleteIt was an interesting read. Your blog buddies will always go to bat for you! Some younger ones need to know what school was like in the '60s. We understand. Linda in Kansas
ReplyDeleteLinda, you're very kind thank you. I don't know if I ever told you, but Linda was my mom's name! You don't see a lot of Linda's out there so I'm glad I know you. 🙂👍
DeleteThanks; that's sweet. I've known a few Lindas in the nursing field, so it was used a bit in the '50s. Your Mom sounded like a cool lady, (especially during that girl staying overnight escapade!) Linda in Kansas
DeleteI missed it entirely. I checked in yesterday and the day before and all I saw was the milk bottle post.
ReplyDeleteRiver, you didn't miss much. But I'm always glad to see you here.
DeleteHi Doug, I found it an interesting read. Teachers could be and were abusive back then. The stories I have about a creepy male teacher I had in grade seven.......Things I hope have really changed. As you say it is your blog so you have control over what you post.
ReplyDeleteTake care Doug.❤️
Thanks Robin, I appreciate you sharing that. And you're certainly right about teachers back then, well a few bad apples of course. (I can tell you about an 8th grade math teacher who came to school drunk every day!) But like yourself, I like to think things for the most part have changed too. I have a niece still in high school and she's had nothing but love and adoration for all her teachers. 🙂
DeleteUm, I missed it. But I know that some things, like letters, you write down, but then never send, because they're more for your benefit than anyone else's. Now you've got me thinking about some of my old teachers ... mostly good, some bad, but none were abusive.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comment Tom. I'm sorry you missed it because it wasn't all bad, I was trying to do a tribute to my mom for mother's Day. I have heard of that, writing something down just to get it out of your system but it never worked for me. I had to have 50 people read it first! Anyway I'm glad you had good teachers for the most part. This could be a good blog post someday. 🙂
DeleteI felt the Post was probably therapeutic to Write about your Truth in that particular situation, the Teacher chose his own Behaviors and Legacy to leave behind, good or bad. That said, if you felt you should take the Post down, it was best to... I've done it myself sometimes. I did get to read and comment on the Post and sadly, too many Young People have been damaged by Adults who abused their authority and should not have been around Children if they couldn't be with the right intentions. Any profession where you are around the most vulnerable in Society means you have to be held to a higher standard yourself, for their sakes.
ReplyDeleteThat was both helpful and well said Bohemian, thank you. It's appreciated. 🙂
DeleteHi Doug, It’s me Kay of Musings as Anonymous again. Tsk.
ReplyDeleteI’m afraid I missed your post too. Darn! I would have liked to have read it.
Hmmm…. Teachers? I’ve had some rather silly, eccentric teachers, but none were abusive. Thank goodness. I’m sorry you had one that caused you hurt. That is really sad. You need responsive, responsible, especially caring teachers at young ages because they could scar some kids at formative ages. I know your mom was a very loving advocate for you. You were blessed and it’s good to think of the good times with her.
Thanks Kay, I'm sorry you missed it but this was still nice to read. 🙂
DeleteDoug, I found that post to be well written and the subject matter handled honestly. You weren't trying to hurt anyone, you just covered an event in your life that was important to you. I found it very moving.
ReplyDeleteJackie, this was very kind of you. This meant a lot to read, thank you.
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