Coming soon, to a government office near you

Miss Thornberry, have a seat.  Alright, according to our records you are 32 years and 1 month old as of today. 

Your medical records indicate you have never given birth or even attempted to have a baby.

I’m sure you’re aware that all women are required to have been pregnant at least once by age 32.  Can you provide any proof our information about you is incorrect? 

We have a physician on site who can perform an examination right now in the adjoining room, if you deny these findings.

That won’t be necessary.  I’ve never had a child or been pregnant. 

But in my defense, I have a defective heart valve that more than doubles the risk of mortality for someone like myself carrying a baby to term.  My personal physician will attest to this.

Miss Thornberry, we--

It’s not Miss Thornberry.  It’s Dr. Thornberry.  I too am a medical physician.

Fine then.  Doctor Thornberry, we’re fully aware of your defective heart valve.  But your mortality isn’t what is at stake here.  Your future baby’s mortality is.

This is preposterous.  Not that it should matter, but I am an integral part of a government think tank devoted to the research and eradication of women’s cancers.  Even if I met someone suitable, and was healthy enough to become pregnant, a baby couldn’t possibly fit into the equation. 

Dr. Thornberry, surely you’re aware of President Mastriano’s “NO EXCEPTION” Federal abortion ban of 2027, even in cases of rape & incest.  This law mandating all women become impregnated by 32 also comes with no exceptions.  Frankly I don’t care if you’re the blessed Melania Superior.  You ARE going to become pregnant.

And YOU can talk to my attorney.  What the—I’m unable to lift my arms off this chair—I can’t move my feet!

Your chair and the floor below it are wired with sensors and magnetic alloys that can detect when a woman is ovulating.  I suggest you stop trying to free yourself, a woman broke her wrist there recently.

I demand you let me go!

Here’s what’s going to happen.  You’ll be taken to a private room on this floor where your legs will be put into stirrups.  From there, you’ll be given two options:  insemination via a sterile medical apparatus resembling a turkey baster, containing a purely randomized sperm sample from one of thousands of male donors.  Doctors, serial killers, pacifists, hunchbacks—it could be any one of them, as this is America, equal rights for all.

I refuse!

Then your other option is to select one of our on-site male volunteers who can inseminate you first-hand, as God intended.  Your choices here are limited, but you’ll be allowed to choose from a line-up of men in another room.

Either way, it’s your choice.

(Psst—I’m not trying to be funny here.  When we FORCE pregnancies on women it’s only a matter of time before we begin using them for breeding—like cattle.  And we WILL get there, as long as we allow fascists—I mean, Conservatives—to remain in control.)