So… if you could do it all over again, would you do it all over again?

Here is yours truly from earlier this summer, and younger me from the summer of 1980, a couple months shy of my 19th birthday.  Doug from 1980 appears to be looking at my big belly and saying “That’s going to be me in 45 years?  No way!”  

Yes way, 1980 Doug!  You’re going to be okay until your forties, then look out.  And you can forget about all that hair on top too!

Seeing these photos together reminds me of a great novel I read way back in 1988. The book bears the distinction of being the first hardcover I bought after finishing school and landing my first IT position in Pittsburgh.  I could only afford paperbacks before.

I wanted to build a library which I did wind up doing over the next 30 years, only to donate most of my collection to the local library after I retired and downsized.

Anyway, that first novel I bought was ‘Replay’ by Ken Grimwood.  I won’t tell you the whole story, but it begins with a middle aged man named Jeff Winston—balding, obese, wheezes from years of smoking.  In fact, he’s attempting to catch his breath while taking a shower, while his wife (whom he refers to as “The Shrew”) is outside the bathroom yelling at him, when he suffers a heart attack.

There’s darkness, and when he opens his eyes he’s in bed—in a room he hasn’t seen in decades, his childhood bedroom.  He gets out of bed, amazed how slender he is and filled with vitality, is he dreaming?  Is this Heaven?  This can’t be happening. 

Jeff makes his way downstairs, is shocked to see his dad alive & well after all these years, watching tv.  He picks up the newspaper and looks at the date; it’s the year 1963. And somehow, he’s 18 again.

I don’t want to give away the rest of the story, but after Jeff bets his savings on a couple of big league games (he knew the outcomes) and wins a fortune, he goes to the beach to reflect on his future.  Will the next 25 years be the same as before? 

An attractive young woman approaches, and he realizes it’s his future wife.  In fact, they began dating after meeting on this beach and she asked him for a light for her cigarette.  But this time when she comes up and asks for one, he says “sorry” and high-tails it back to his car! 

Things are going to turn out a lot differently this time ‘round.

Anyway, if you had the chance to do it all over again—wake up in the past and be 18 again—would you?  With all the knowlege you have now?  I’m not sure I’d want to live all those years again, but for a long time I used to play a little scenario in my head; if I could send a letter back thru time to my younger self, would I do it?  What would I write to him?  Could I convince my younger self it really came from the future?

I was a big believer then in ESP, astral projection, UFOs, the whole kit n’ kaboodle.  A letter from my future self, sure why not! 

Well, that will never happen of course.  But speaking of books, there’s a shop on the corner of Lincoln & Balph in my neighborhood that used to sell antiques, and just reopened as a vintage bookstore.  It looks wonderful inside, and the first bookstore I’ve seen around here in years.

Y’know, I’ve always wanted a personal library…