If you have to ask, then you don’t have to ask

Back before these global pandemics of Trump and the Coronavirus, back in the happy, carefree days of the early 1990s, when men still wore suits & neckties to the office, there was a popular but short-lived trend towards floral neckties.  I was around 30 at the time and anxious to look as modern as those dudes in GQ Magazine, but still held out on the floral neckwear as long as I could. 

But as more men began wearing them downtown, and finally a couple coworkers in my own office, I knew my time had come and bought a couple.  (One was a dark olive with sunflowers, I grew quite fond of that one & held onto it until I moved in 2016!)

I wasn’t the only guy struggling with these though.  One morning, I was sitting at my desk looking thru the assortment of memos in my “IN” basket (this was when paper was king and email a novelty) when I was approached by our IT guy, Mark.  He was around my age, liked by everyone but not exactly known for his fashion sense.  The minute I swiveled my chair in his direction, I was greeted with what HAD to be a vintage necktie; it was a shiny ivory with laughing cherubs, their chubby little hands tossing roses above their curly-topped heads.

Mark said “Does this tie look gay to you?”  I said it looked kitschy, and kind of perverse, but not gay.  Mark then proceeded to ask the other men in our office if they thought it looked perverted, and Ed S. said “Don’t you drive a white van?”  (Mark did, full of computer gear.)  Someone asked if it was full of candy and the entire office howled. 

Finally Rich Hester (our department head) said “Mark if you have to ask, then you don’t have to ask.”   I don’t know why, but that line always stuck with me.

I thought of all that yesterday morning, when I was visiting my dear friend Kay’s blog Musings.  She shared a link to a recent NBC news story where Donald Trump had crossed out the word “CORONA” in a speech he was making about the virus and replaced it (using his infamous black Sharpie) with the word “CHINESE”.

While this should bother anyone with a conscience and an ounce of humanity, Kay and her family were particularly upset, being Asian American.  Trump’s just gotta spread that hate whenever he gets the opportunity.  (He was even called out by a reporter for it, but was defiant.)  I sure wish he’d go away with that Covid-19.  As far as viruses go, TRUMP-1 is the worst.

But it immediately got me to thinking about my own recent blog, the one about my neighbor Mike scamming toilet paper from the other residents in our building.  It’s funny…. when it happened 3 nights ago, I was ticked off.  But when I was sharing it with a friend this morning, couldn’t stop laughing.

The thing is, when I wrote about it here I pointed out he was a young African-American man in his twenties.  Should I have shared he was black?  If you have to ask…  I’m not a racist (at least, I don’t want to be) but I can be a little thoughtless sometimes. 

Anyway, I removed Mike’s ethnicity from that post and I’m sorry for even sharing his toilet paper caper in the first place… there are far bigger things happening to all of us right now. 

To be honest though, I’d love to know how many rolls Mike wound up collecting.