Cauliflower, broccoli spears, brussel sprouts. Fordhook lima beans. These are the four vegetables I buy frozen, that I don’t eat fresh or from a can.
If I could, I’d eat fordhook lima beans everyday. I love the things. They were my dad’s favorite too, my grandma would often send him home with a mason jar of creamed limas, and told me her secret to cooking them just right. Use double the water the bag says and cook ‘em twice as long at half the heat.
Anyway… a bag of frozen limas (enough for 3 decent servings) is $4.19. They are beans, not caviar! Why are they so expensive??
As long as I’m at it, I thought I’d come up with 19 other questions that I have no real answers to.
2. I’m a man with a man-face. Where’s my Adam’s apple? I thought having one was my birthright.
3. Why have I always had more women friends than men friends? It’s been that way since about... second grade
4. Why do I love foods now I despised as a kid? Growing up, I hated anything that hinted of green pepper and I wouldn’t touch rice with a 10 foot pole, let alone a 10 inch chopstick. Now I worry if I don’t have a sack of rice in the cupboard and pretty much eat green peppers in everything.
Here’s some meatballs I made last summer, stuffed with rice and swmming in tomato sauce & diced green peppers. An hour or so later… BAM! Porcupine balls!
5. Why are British accents so cool? Whenever I run into Winston (the Brit who lives downstairs), he’ll prattle on and I’ll just listen. He’s British, you know.
6. Why do I fall into a coma after I finish my dinner? No matter if I eat early or late—20 minutes afterwards I zonk out with no memory of even getting sleepy.
7. What happened to the US adopting the metric system in the 1970s? All we wound up with is 2 liter bottles of pop!
8. Why does Netflix, Ally Bank & Xfinity feel the need to email me so much to let me know they’re here for me during this pandemic? Guys, you already own me—enough with the emails. I’m THISCLOSE to—yes, I’m bluffing. Damn you!
9. Why do I stop what I’m doing to watch an episode of Star Trek on TV when I’ve already seen each one 400 times, they’re available on Netflix and I own all of them on DVD?
Here’s my collection of all 5 Trek television series, in custom DVD boxes that once made the Trekkiest bookshelf mural (in my old apartment) you’ve ever seen.
10. Why are we still dealing with pennies? I asked my mom this in 2001 and she said “I’m sorry you think they’re beneath you, Mr. Rockefeller.”
11. Why do I make my bed everyday when I’m the only one who sees it? I’m hereby designating Sunday as “Leave my Bed Unmade Day”. It will give my non-working butt a reason to look forward to the weekends again.
12. When did ATMs stop requiring deposit envelopes? When I received my stimulus check (by mail) and went to my bank to deposit it, it was closed. So I go to the ATM, where are the deposit envelopes? A woman waiting behind me said they weren’t needed anymore. She was right!
13. Why am I unable to pee in the shower? Not that I want to, but I read that it’s more common than you think. But try as I might... nope.
14. Why does David Spade look 15 years younger than me? I’m only 2 years older than him.
15. Why won’t my barbershop take appointments? For 20 years or so, I’ve asked my barber Rose (a woman) that and have always gotten the same answer--Because this is a barbershop, not a hair salon Dougie Fresh!” Well Rose, you’re anxious to reopen and we’ve got this pandemic to contend with… think about it??
16. Why do I read fewer books and watch less TV in retirement then I did when I was working 45-50 hours a week? What am I doing with all my free time? Let me think on that for a couple hours…
17. Why do cats have such a hold over me? Everytime I overhear my neighbor Rachel talkiing to her cat Atticus (her apartment is next to the laundry room) or Arkansas Patti (one of the dearest bloggers I know) writes about her cat Minnie, I have to resist the urge to get rid of my leather chair and get one of my own. Hmm… I think I’ll name him Winston. Or Spock.
18. Why do friends laugh or make fun of my flip-phone? It only costs me $20 for enough minutes to talk on for a YEAR and I think it’s cool!
19. Why can’t I beat this TMJD (temporomandibular jaw disorder)? A doctor said that for 80% of sufferers, it resolves itself within 18 months.
In 2 more months I am chopping off my head. I bet people think I’m only kidding. We’ll see...
20. And last but not least… why do I blog? You may find this hard to believe, but I consider myself a pretty private person.
Wow, that's a lot of questions! 2. I think only scrawny men have Adams Apples. (If I were a bloke, I'd have a whopper) 3. Because you are sweet natured. 5. Because very often British accents come with a deliciously dry sense of humour. 6. Me too!!! 7. I wonder why Canada uses imperial paper sizes. 17. Never met a cat I didn't like. 18. I use a flip phone and I'm super cool! 20. Because you are an interesting guy who likes to 'care and share'. Loved his post, Doug!
ReplyDeleteAnd I loved this response--thanks Florence! Oh and you get extra points for being a phone flipper too :)
DeleteWell, you've got me laughing again.
ReplyDeleteHaha thank you Gigi--hey if you see this response--I tried commenting on your amazing book-blog yesterday and it wouldn't publish...
DeleteI wondered what happened to you. Now I know. haha
DeleteLots of good questions. I often laugh over #7 Liquor and soda, but not milk...go figure. Everything else we just quit. Pennies, who needs them!
ReplyDeleteI thought I was the only one who likes lima's big ones and the babies. Never even look at the price, lately they are plum hard to find in our markets!
Joe I think we're in the minority when it comes to limas... I read an old article the other night that Green Giant stopped producing Fordhook limas due to lack of sales :(
DeleteWell first off thank you so much for the sweet words. You know how to perk a lady up young man. Hope you finally cave on the cat. You won't regret it.
ReplyDeleteMe too on English accents. They just sound so much smarter and I adore British understated humor.
Flip phone person here also. Love the looks I get when I flip it out. Actually had a youngster come up to me and want to see what all mine could do. Don't think I impressed him with punching send then talk and listen.
Really hope the 18 months is magic for you Doug and keep your head on, we need you around.
Patti thanks so much for the friendly & encouraging words, they are much appreciated; and nice to know another phone flipper! Last year when I was in the hospital for a few days, my male nursting assistant (born in 2000--now THAT'S a young man) saw my phone on my table and asked me if it could only dial 911!
Delete3. I’m the same. I just like women more than men.
ReplyDelete4. I think this is pretty common.
5. Australians will disagree with you on that. The posh accents are pretty stupid and the other ones just grate. Maybe it’s just me. My dad was English. He didn’t like them either.
7. We (in Oz) adopted the metric system in the sixties. It was a conservative government that did it. I think that’s the secret.
10. We did away with the one cent a couple of decades ago. We just round to the nearest 5 cents. Got rid of the $1 note too, $1 is now a coin.
11. Who makes their bed? Especially if you live alone.
15. I cut my own hair. I’ve done that for 50 years now, using one of those comb thingies with a razor blade in it. With curly hair it looks the same whether I do it or the barber does it (ie pretty bad).
18. I have a flip phone, it makes and receives phone calls – what else do you need?
20. Ditto.
Loved your answers here, thanks! Was this you, River? I do like you Australians... :)
DeleteNo, this is Peter from over at TimeGoesBy.
DeletePeter the Music Man?? Oh my gosh, thanks very much for dropping by. As you know I'm a big fan of your Sunday column :)
DeleteOh gracious! This was a great post! We had it in our curriculum to teach our 1st graders the metric system until I retired in 2004 and nothing much has come of it. And yes! We always make our bed too. I guess you just like things neat and orderly. We do too. Hmmmm... let me make that more precise. We don't exactly make our bed. We open it up neatly and fold the covers back to air it out in the day time. But it's neatly done. I love British accents too! And no, he doesn't look 15 years younger than you. You are handsome just as you are.
ReplyDeleteKay, I always get such a big kick from your feedback--this was awesome, thank you! (And for your kind words too) :)
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