Thinking out loud: Two neighbors and two men

Shortly after I moved into my new apartment in April 2017, I noted with dismay that I could hear my next door neighbor’s television, and quite loudly too.  What made it even worse, he wasn’t just watching tv---he played pretty violent videogames.  

Being the new kid on the block and not having a clue who lived next door, I put a Post-It on his front door, asking if he could move his tv or turn down the volume.  I never got a response.

A couple days later, a painter from our building’s management arrived to paint an accent wall in my apartment.  (I asked if I could do this and they offered to do it for me, free of charge).   As we’re talking while he’s painting, my neighbor’s videogaming started up.  The painter said “Whoa!  How often do ya hear that?”  I said nearly everyday, when he gets home from work around 4pm.  He said “Did you call management and complain?”  

I said “What good would that do?  In my last place, a gay couple moved in next to me and had giant fights and Beyonce sing-alongs at all hours of the night.  When I called management there, they said there was nothing they could do.”

The painter said “Listen, this place WILL do something.  Call and tell them.”  So I did. 

The videogames quieted down some, but it was still too much so I called again.  They stopped altogether.  A week or so later, I got a call from someone named Maria.  She said she was a friend of Ronnie—the name of the 38 year old man who lived next door.  She asked if I’d be interested in meeting her & Ronnie for lunch.  What the—??  I said no. 

A day or two later, I’m sitting here watching tv and there’s a knock at my door.  When I answered it, a very attractive woman (in a nice suit) held out her hand & said “Are you Doug?  Hi I’m Maria, your neighbor Ronnie’s friend.  Would you be willing to come over and talk for a couple minutes?”  I said “Are you his attorney?”  She laughed and said no, just a friend.  I said ok and followed her over.   Was this really necessary?

We went into Ronnie’s very busy apartment (stuffed to the gills with furniture) and I shook hands with a tall, stocky black man.  Maria explained that Ronnie was a custodian at the University of Pittsburgh, one of the nicest fellows you could meet, had moved in a few months before me and liked living here very much.

I said that sounded fine, but why was she telling me?   Maria said they’d been made aware of my two complaints, and if I had an issue with Ronnie in the future, could I please speak directly to him first.  I said sure & added I DID put a post-it on his door (which Ronnie insisted he never saw). 

I said “Can I ask why you’re making a big deal out of this?  A week or so after I moved in, my niece was here doing somersaults in my livingroom and the woman below called the office and complained; they reached out to me and couldn’t have been nicer.”

Maria said “After your second complaint they told Ronnie if they got one more call, he could be evicted.”  I said I was really sorry, were they getting a lot of complaints about him?  She said no, just mine.  Then why did they threaten to evict him?  Maria said “He’s a black man, that’s just how it is.” 

Ronnie and I don’t talk that often, but we’re friendly.  Last November his mother came to stay for a week from Georgia, and the two of us sat up one night for hours, talking politics & movies.  Ronnie drives me crazy in a different way now, he broils a LOT of steaks I can smell over here (something I’m unable to eat but boy do I miss!)  

But honestly, I couldn’t ask for a better neighbor.  I hope he feels the same about me.

I’ve been thinking about him lately, after the recent deaths of George Floyd & Ahmaud Arbery.  My God, these two men were murdered for being black.  In 2020.

In 2016, Will Smith said “Racism isn’t getting worse, it’s getting filmed.”   He was right.