Yesterday afternoon I emailed my friend Danielle, asking if her husband Josh was enjoying his stay in San Diego. He had to fly there this past week for several days, for a big work project.
DANIELLE: Yeah he said it’s beautiful. He hated the plane ride.
ME: Wonder why he hated the plane ride? Not surprised to hear it's beautiful though, San Diego’s always listed as one of the most beautiful cities to live in the continental US. The most expensive too.
DANIELLE: Because they were packed like sardines and people wouldn’t wear masks. I’d like to see it someday, it looks nice.
DOUG: I suppose I wouldn’t enjoy a plane trip nowadays. The first time I rode a plane was in the mid-1990s, my girlfriend Renee & I went to the Bahamas. I said "I wonder if they'll roll one of those portable stairways up to the plane door when we land? We can come down them and pretend we’re the Beatles when they first arrived in America!”
Renee said "You watch too many old movies and things! Airlines haven't used those in years!"
When we landed in the Bahamas, they rolled one of those giant staircases on wheels out to the door of the plane. TAKE THAT, RENEE TOMATO!
Y’see, Renee's last name was Romito so when she exasperated me, I called her Renee Tomato. Here’s a photo of us on that trip.
DANIELLE: I’d love to be in the Bahamas right now. I’ve never been there.
ME: You've been to much better places, trust me. It's 99% poverty with 1% devoted to their few resorts for the bourgeois. What I mean is, forget any sightseeing. It's all tin shacks and sugar cane when you leave your resort.
And you’re right on the equator, so the sun is beating down directly on top of your head. If you don't have a hat on the entire time, it’ll burn your hair and scalp right off! Also, the smell of mildew is like nothing I've ever experienced. The humidity level is 3000% 24 hours a day. We have beaches here that are 100 times nicer!
DANIELLE: Well, I did want to go to Russia for vacation, but I guess that’s out. I heard they have nice beaches too.
DOUG:
DANIELLE: It’s like Americans who go to Iran to go “hiking”, and end up in Iraq. Dumbasses.
DOUG: What the hell, I send you a hilarious Danielle at the beach in Russia meme and this is your response? You need to go take a bath or nap or something!
DANIELLE: I took a bath! I’m just saying that’s what happens when you go to places like that. I’m very intelligent and serious Doug, and I don’t do memes!
DOUG: Fine! My God!
You just stirred up fond memories of my long ago trip to San Diego. The food, the people, the climate and the zoo were FABULOUS!!! We drove there from (to us) balmy Vancouver. Something nice to think about as a madman invades a sovereign country and threatens nuclear war. I for one chuckled at your bathing suit scene.
ReplyDeleteFlorence, I offered to be Josh's personal valet for the trip but no luck--I'd love to visit SD someday, Vancouver too. Glad you got to go, and thanks for chuckling at my meme! 😄👍
DeleteHilarious - from the headline to the first photo to the meme to the end. Thanks for this laugh today. Kim in PA
ReplyDeleteKim S, you just made my Saturday. Thank you! 🙂
DeleteWhat a great and meandering conversation! San Diego is indeed beautiful and the Bahamas shares its poverty/tourist vibe with places like Honolulu, Las Vegas and places in Mexico. Probably many tourist places? That's a cute photo of you--so young though. You look 12! I'm worried about mask wearing on my flight to NYC but Alaska Airlines is strict so I'm hoping for the best.
ReplyDeleteMargaret, I talk too much and she talks too little, so it sort of bounces out in the end 😉. Thanks for the compliment of me and that old photo, but I was in my mid-30s! I wouldn't worry about your mask wearing to New York, I would just wear it and not give a damn what anyone said. 🙂👍
DeleteYour mid-thirties??? There is no way!
DeleteHaha, yes way!❤️
DeleteHmmm... The only thing I'm remembering about San Diego is the zoo. It's been so long since we've been there. And that plane ride thing is making me nervous. We have a plane ride in store for us in May. Arrrgghhh! I'm going to wear an N95!
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you'll be fine, Kay! 🙂👍
DeleteThis is as far west as I have ever been but spent quite a bit of time in the Bahamas. Mainly for the resorts, scuba diving and gambling. You two were so cute with great tans.
ReplyDeleteMy God … so funny
ReplyDeleteThanks Shawn 🙂♥️♥️♥️♥️
DeleteThat's a great back and forth conversation between you and Danielle. I felt like I was there! I love that cute picture of you and Renee. You both look like high school students! I bet it was fun when they rolled out that giant staircase to the plane. Actually they do still use those in many places depending on the size of the plane. I've flown on smaller planes and also into smaller airports where that was the only option.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great hemline meme! I was a teenager in the 60's when mini skirts were a thing. We had to go through a test of our hemline at school if they thought it was too short. We had to get on our knees on the floor to check if our skirt touched the floor and if it didn't we were sent home! Another test was to hang our arms at our side and the skirt had to be below our fingertips. The 60's were full of all kinds of challenges for teachers!
Thank you Bonnie and WHAT THE--!! What a great read about those skirts. Growing up in the 1960s, we lived right down the street a little from the high school. I very much enjoyed seeing all those older girls in their miniskirts. But I felt sorry for you girls too--honest! 😉💕
DeleteUnder arrest? I would think he would whistle for all his mates to come and see.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't like being on a packed plane with no one wearing masks. I remember just before I started high school, the girls had to kneel on the floor and the hem of their uniform had to just touch the floor. The year I started high school, everyone was making a big fuss over the English model Twiggy and her mini skirts, so school uniforms started getting shorter. I remember a couple that were "barely there" and the girls got sent home to change.
Those were some interesting times River... 🙂👍
DeleteI too remember the days when we had to be dressed in ways the school supervisors found acceptable. There were NO miniskirts or hot pants allowed! I really enjoyed this post, Doug. Thanks for the laughs, I really needed them.
ReplyDeleteDJan I don't want to sound like a fuddy-duddy, but the more I think back to those days of the late 60s early 70s, I don't think ANY girls should have been allowed to wear mini skirts in school! Anyway, thank you kindly for your nice words. I know we are living in very uncertain times right now. 🙁✌️
DeleteHi Doug, your friend Danielle sounds hilarious! I loved your story about the rolling staircase in the Bahamas. Years ago (45 I think) my family went to Cuba and for part of the time we stayed in a remote area. We had to fly there in a very small plane. I remember we had the rolling staircase too but yours truly nearly did a header down it! Not my finest moment.
ReplyDeleteThis was a great post as always Doug, I really enjoyed it.
Have a good week.❤️❤️
Thank you Robin! Danielle is funny and a good friend, even though I do most of the talking 🙄! I loved hearing about your trip to Cuba, how cool is that! I am sorry about the fall, but you got to share more about Cuba sometime. Hope you have a good week ahead and thanks again. 🙂💕
DeleteIf they're packing people in like Sardines and not mandating Masks on Airlines I would not travel by Air. My Grandson and his Partner caught COVID on a flight from Phoenix to Washington last Year, even tho' they were Vaxxed.
ReplyDeleteYes I was surprised to hear that too Bohemian. I still carry one with me wherever I go.
DeleteI had to use stairs in Japan the last time I was there due to high winds at the time. I wasn’t sure I was going to make it down the stairs. I couldn’t wave to anyone because both hands were on the railings.
ReplyDeleteEd I'm glad you made it down those stairs! How many times have you been to Japan?
DeleteI have been to Japan three or four times but only through their airport. I would like to step foot outside the airport and stay for a week or two sometime though. It's on my bucket list.
DeleteBahamas does not sound appealing and neither does Russia. You looked so young and handsome in your photo.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the compliment Gigi! My friend Danielle was just being a wiseguy about wanting to go to Russia..I think. I know she's pretty tired of Pittsburgh ☹️
DeleteBoy, weren’t you both cute at that age.
ReplyDeleteI must say that, as we used to say when we were at school (and that was a long, long time ago), Renee Tomato is a bit of alright – that was the highest praise we had for the appearance of a girl or woman.
Sorry, for judging on appearances, but that’s all I have to go on.
Peter, you have nothing to be sorry for. Your comments always leave me smiling, especially this one. Thanks my friend! 🙂👍👍
DeleteOne thing about Russians and beaches. The smallest children run around naked and defecate right there. My daughter said there was nothing like coming up out of the water and brushing up against a turd. She thought she would never be clean again.
DeleteGood grief! Debby, I'm sorry your daughter had to experience that, but thank you for sharing. I can't wait to tell Danielle. 😏
DeleteRussia doesn't sound that appealing at the moment I have to say, never did really.Here in the UK we don't need to wear masks at all anywhere. Dear Boris Johnson lifted all restrictions to try and take the attention away from all his lies and bullshit, hoping he'll get away with it all.
ReplyDeleteJoe I sure am sorry you have to put up with that oaf Boris Johnson. As for Russia, my gal pal Danielle was just being a wiseguy! I for one would love to visit the UK someday! 🙂
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