The Early Eighties, the Chinese girl and the wannabe preppie, among other things

A few days ago, my sister Shawn sent me this photo she’d found in an old wallet, which brought back a flood of memories.  This was the first time I’d seen it in over 35 years.

The picture is from 1984-85.  I was in my early twenties, a couple years after I’d dropped out of college (and a couple years before I’d go back).  It was a time in my life when I did a lot of clubbing, and every weekend I’d go with a couple coworkers or my friend Dan across the state line to Morgantown, West Virginia. 

The Foxes Den, The Chess Box, The Double Decker (with a gay bar in it’s basement) were the clubs we frequented.

They all blared 80’s music, and were filled with people our age wearing pastel sweaters or polo shirts (with the collars turned up) and drinking fuzzy navels or Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers.

I was enamored with a Chinese girl I’d met at one of those clubs, Sue Lin.  Sue was a law intern, very hip, a real knockout.  The first time I asked her to dance, she said “Sorry Nice Guy, I’m on my cycle!”  which took me a full minute to grasp.  I thought it was her way of telling me to scram, until the following week when she approached me and said “Nice Guy, still want to dance?”  Yes!  I even remember the song we danced to, Madonna’s ‘Crazy For You’.

(To be honest, on the rare occasion I hear that song on an oldies station on the radio, I think of Sue.)

We’d sit and talk between songs sometimes, but never exchanged any real information like phone numbers.  I knew better than to ask, I was not in her league.

This went on for several weeks, and then one Saturday night we were laughing and carrying on more than usual, and when my friends said it was time to go, she offered to give me a ride home.  I reminded her I lived across the state line, a 30 minute drive, but she was okay with it. 

On the way to Waynesburg Pa, Sue asked if I had my own place and I said yes and no.  I wasn’t living at home with my parents, but was sharing a place with my sister.  Our grandmother on our mom’s side had recently been placed in a nursing home and we were living in her small home (and barely keeping the lights on with our low paying jobs in retail).

We pulled up in front of the house around 2am, and while I debated inviting her in, she asked if she could come in and use the bathroom.  I said of course, and invited her to crash on the sofa until morning.  I was surprised when she said yes, and she asked if my sister would mind.  I said “Why would she mind?”

So, one thing led to another and she spent the night but didn’t spend it on the couch.  The next thing I know, it was around 8am, and I heard Sue’s voice VERY clearly say “No who are YOU.”  It came from the kitchen, which was right outside my bedroom.  I jumped up from bed, grabbed my robe and rushed in there. 

At the sink stood Sue, wearing nothing but my black t-shirt with the words SUCCESS IS EVERYTHING across the front.  At the doorway which led to the basement was my dad, in his “plastering gear”. 

Dad kept his trowels and plastering supplies in Grandma’s basement, which you could get to from outside.  He stored it there for jobs in town, and would come up the cellar steps to the kitchen for a cup of coffee.  My sister & I didn’t drink the stuff, but Dad kept a jar of Taster’s Choice Instant Coffee in our kitchen cupboard.  It was sitting out, where Sue had awakened before me and decided to fix herself a cup.

I said “Sue, this is my dad, he keeps his plastering stuff downstairs.  Dad, this is a friend of mine, her name is Sue…”   Dad just stood there.  Finally he said “Get her out of here before your sister wakes up” and went back down the cellar steps.  I turned to Sue and said “I am so sorry—he can be pretty old fashioned when it comes to—“ and she said “I just want to get out of here!”  and hurried past me into my room. 

(When she got into her car, I saw she was still wearing my favorite t-shirt.  Darn it!  Oh well, letting her have that shirt was the least I could do.)

After she drove off, I went back into the house, got dressed and sat down at the kitchen table with a bowl of cereal.  My dad came back up from the basement at the same time my sister Shawn stumbled into the kitchen rubbing her eyes.  She asked “What’s going on?” and Dad said “When you come home for Thanksgiving next week, I don’t want you bringing him.”  

Shawn looked even more confused and said “Why?  I’m not coming without Doug..”  Dad shook his head and left without saying another word.  Shawn said “What did you do?” 

I honestly can’t remember what I said.

Later on, Mom called and said “Your dad told me what happened.”  I said “Yeah, I think he disowned me.”  Mom said “He says he caught you with one of those geisha girls while your sister was asleep in the next room, what did you expect!  Was she a prostitute?” 

I said “That’s not how it went down, and she wasn’t a geisha girl and she wasn’t a prostitute!”  Mom said “You mind telling me what he got right?”  I said “She works for a law firm in Morgantown, she’s Chinese and Dad saw her in the kitchen.” 

Mom said “Yeah, naked!”  I said “Not totally naked, she was wearing one of my t-shirts!”  Mom said “Jesus, Doug!”

She said “Well you know how he feels about these people, because of Pearl Harbor and the war when he was a boy.  You should write him a letter and tell him how sorry--“   I said “Mom, I’m not apologizing for his racism!”  She said “Fine, you do what you want!  But if he never talks to you again, don’t come crying to me!”

Dad and I weren’t exactly on speaking terms for several weeks, and a couple weeks passed before I saw Sue at the club again.  When I did, I just waved & smiled, and she did the same.  Finally one night I got the chance to tell her how sorry I was for what had happened, and she said “Listen, if my dad thought we were dating it would’ve been sooo much worse!” 

When I asked if it was because I wasn’t Chinese, she said “No because you’re a college dropout!”