Wayfair can be way suspicious, but business is business I way suppose

Unlike my last conversation-post with the fictional A&P Hotline, this one really did occur Saturday afternoon.

WF:  Thank you for calling Wayfair, my name is Carrie with a C.  Will you please confirm your identity by giving me your name, address & number you’re calling from?

ME:  Hi Carrie—by the way, I have a sister with that name.  Um, this is Douglas Morris, I live at blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda.

WF:  Great!  What can we do for you Douglas?

ME:  Well, I bought a chair from you guys a couple weeks ago.  It was damaged on its way here, so you sent a replacement.  I got the replacement in good condition, but it was a darker leather than what I expected so I asked to return it. 

I was told it would cost me $75 to have someone come pick it up, I said that was fine and the least I could do given the inconvenience to you guys.   Soooooo…..

WF:  I’m with you so far, keep going!  Was it picked up?

ME:  Yes, two men came last Friday to pick it up.  I wrapped it up in $20.00 worth of bubble-wrap.  But I’m still waiting for an update on my refund.  I don’t want to seem impatient, but I found a replacement chair on your website I wanted to buy. 

The thing is, it was out of stock, now it’s back.  I’m afraid it will go out of stock again if I wait too long.

WF:  And you need your refund first?

ME:  In a way—I need to know if you’re refunding my credit card or making me take store credit. 

I don’t want to buy the replacement chair now, only to get $900 in store credit a week from now.

WF:  Okay I totally get it!  Douglas will you stay on the line while I review all of this with my manager? 

ME:  Sure Carrie.  Hum de dum de dum….. 

8 MINUTES LATER…

WF:  Hi Douglas, it’s Carrie again!  My manager wanted to know—what was the date they picked up the leather chair?  Was it actually last Friday, the 15th?

ME:  Yes, around 3pm.  It’s been gone 8 days, you still don’t have it?

WF:  Well, my supervisor says it takes 2-4 weeks to return to the warehouse, then the order gets a formal return evaluation, then someone will notify you of it’s return, then we contact your credit card company if all looks good and you finally get your refund to your credit card issued a couple weeks after that.   So a credit card refund can take 4-6 weeks.

ME:  And what if I take store credit instead?

WF:  Then you’d get $900.00 added to your account within 48 hours.  Someone will call you when the store credit is in your account.

ME:  Wow—well, I AM pretty sure I’m going to buy that other chair, so I think I’ll go ahead with the store credit.

WF:  Great!  Douglas is there anything else I can help you with?

ME:  Nope I think I’m good.  

WF:  Oh Douglas I wanted to tell you—my first name may be Carrie, but my middle name is Lynn and I go by Lynn with family & friends.

ME:  That’s interesting, my sister Carrie’s middle name is Shawn and she goes by Shawn with her family & friends.  Alright, thanks Carrie—I mean Lynn—well, whatever you--

WF:  Oh Douglas, I was just notified your account update is complete.  You now have $900 in store credit.

ME:  I only had to wait a sentence?  Does this mean you guys located my returned chair after all?

WF:  Um… no.  But we believe you returned it!

ME: 

I was told that once the store credit is in my account, they can’t retract or reduce it.  Also, there’s no hurry to spend it, as there’s no expiration date.  (The second chair I’m getting is $350 less than the first, so I’m going to have a surplus.)

Carrie said after I buy another chair I can have the leftover amount transferred to my credit card if I want in no time at all.  Oh really… after I buy another chair.

I dunno, ten seconds for store credit vs 4-6 WEEKS to refund my money seems a little suspicious.  I suppose they’re just happy they’re still getting my money—well, two-thirds of it at least!

PS.  When I showed the replacement chair to my sister and asked if she liked it, she said she had heart-emojis in her eyes.  (You can tell she’s the mother of a teenager.)  When I showed it to my friend Danielle, she said “It doesn’t look comfortable—and I don’t trust Wayfair.  Buy a normal chair from La-Z-Boy!  They’ll send you swatches!”  

I don’t know what I’m doing yet!