A road trip to Mineo’s with the Golden Bachelor and some wonderful ladies

Recently I headed up to the senior center for our next outing to Mineo’s, a pizza house in Allison Park (and rated one of the ten best in Pittsburgh).  The shuttle wasn’t scheduled to pick us up until 11am, but you’re expected to be there 30 minutes early just in case.

After I arrived, said hello to everyone and got a cup of water, I sat down at one of the tables in the Community Room.  Gary got up from across the room to join me.  Oh no.  He’s a nice person, but a little soft in the head if you know what I mean.  He’s also very hard of hearing.  You have to SHOUT when you talk to him.

He says “Hello, are you going to Mineo’s today?”  I say “YES GARY.  I AM GOING TOO.”  He says “My name is Gary—what’s yours?”  Ugh—on our last outing together to Mt. Washington, no matter how many times I told him my name, he called me Chuck.  I say “IT’S DOUG, GARY.  DOUG.”   He says “Jeff?”  I say “DOUG!”  He says “Stan?”  I say “DOUG!!”  He says “George?”   I just stare at him.  I’m done.

He says “I worked at Heinz for 45 years, but I’m retired!  I got a pickle phone, a pickle clock, a pickle watch, a pickle tie-clip, a pickle PAPER clip, a pickle paper weight, a pickle—“   I say “YOU GOT A PICKLE BALL, GARY?”   He says “What? There’s no such thing!”

No offense, but I had enough of Gary.  I decided to wait in the vestibule with the ladies for our ride.  I don’t know why they all stand out there, it’s not like first come first served.  (When the shuttle arrives, the driver calls your name from a clipboard.)  Anyway, there’s a bench in the entrance where Geri, Pearl & another woman are sitting.  A dozen other ladies are standing there talking quietly, when one (Rose) says “I’m going to stand next to the man with all the girlfriends.”  

Rose pats my arm and says “Can you handle one more?” and winks at a couple of the other ladies, and they laugh.  Rose says “So how many girls do you have?”

I said “It’s really not that many.  Evvie, Geri & Pearl.  But Pearl is more like a big sister, she’s my neighbor at the Tiffany.”   One of the ladies says “What about the one you refer to as the widow?”  I say “The Widow Marple.  She lives in West Virginia, so I don’t see her often.  She’s an old classmate.”

Rose says “I suppose you’re going to tell us you like all these ladies the same?”  I say “Oh no.  Evvie comes first.  Then Geri, then the Widow Marple, then Pearl.”   Geri says “Well, at least I’m second on his list!”  Pearl says “Hello, did you forget Elaine?  She’s coming today and I thought you liked her best!”  I say “I love Elaine!  Okay, Evvie first, THEN Elaine, Geri is third now, then the Widow, then Pearl.”

Without saying a word, Geri gets up from the bench, walks over to me, slugs me in the arm, then sits back down.  The other women burst out laughing.  Right then, Elaine walks in and (in her soft voice) says “What did I miss?”  and the women laughed even harder.

Here’s some pics of these terrific ladies mentioned above:

This is Evvie who I love dearly; no matter what mood I’m in, she makes me happy the moment I see her

Geri is in the center of these two little Indians from our trip to the Pow Wow. She’s teeny-tiny, funny as she is feisty, and I’d give anything to have half her energy

Here’s my friend Diana aka the Widow Marple, from our tour of a West Virginia asylum in July. 

(She didn’t go with us, but she WAS mentioned up above and I’ve been looking for a reason to share this nice photo of her)

My neighbor Pearl, standing in this odd little “hobbit house” behind Mineo’s.  It’s faux rock (like they use in movies) and even Mrs. Mineo doesn’t know who built it or why!  Pearl looks ready to move in

Alas, no photos of Elaine.  She’s a very private person.  (Try to imagine a pint-sized Jane Wyman with salt n’ pepper hair, Ked sneakers and an oversized denim jacket.)  At the restaurant, she saved me the seat next to her and it made my day.  

Here was my lunch order, a “John’s Special”—homemade sausage, gouda cheese, green peppers & big mushrooms.  I ate 2 rich slices and brought the rest home for dinner for 2 nights.  

It was certainly tasty, but Scotty’s Pizza in my old hometown is still my favorite pie!