The older I get, the stranger some things from long ago seem

This is me, October 31, 1981.  It was my 20th birthday.  (My mom always got me a Halloween-themed birthday cake.)   I have a good memory of this day.  No longer a teenager, I got a pretty short haircut and Mom told me I looked like a man.  It really meant a lot to hear that.

I was dating someone my age named Charlotte who I really, REALLY cared about.  She took me to dinner at Pizza Hut, and then we went to see a movie.  Two pictures were playing:  Arthur with Dudley Moore, and Only When I Laugh with Marsha Mason & Kristy McNichol.

Charlotte wanted to see Arthur, I didn't.  I saw the trailer and didn't think there was anything funny about someone who was drunk all the time.  (45 years later, I've still never seen it.)   I remember telling Charlie "C'mon, Marsha Mason is great!  I loved her in The Goodbye Girl!"  

Since it was my birthday, she said okay.  Afterwards she said something along the lines that it was a lame movie and I remember thinking she was right.  

The reason I'm sharing this is because a few days ago I came across the movie on The Roku Channel, and realized I hadn't seen it since the night of my birthday, almost 45 years ago.  I couldn't even remember what it was about, so I put it on.

In a nutshell, Marsha Mason is a stage actor who is coming home from a 3 month rehab stay for alcoholism, and her estranged daughter (Kristy McNichol) wants to move in with her for her senior year of high school.

Without giving away the ending, it's a pretty tough film and doesn't have a "happily ever after" ending--but it does have a bittersweet, very honest one.

So the whole time I sat here watching it in the present... our culture was so different then.  I wasn't feeling any sense of nostalgia.  More like a sense of wonder.

In the opening scene, Marsha is leaving an upscale rehab clinic in upstate New York.  She fumbles out a cigarette and lights it, and will begin every scene in the movie lighting a cigarette or smoking a cigarette.  Every single one.  No exceptions.  She kisses the row of white doctors and thanks them, hugs the row of white nurses and thanks them, waves goodbye to the row of black housekeepers and shouts "Thanks for smuggling in that rumcake for me, girls!"   

She's so madcap! 😏 Her upper East Side, wealthy best friend Joan Hackett is waiting to take her back to the city.  (Sadly, Joan died of ovarian cancer just 2 years after making this picture.)   

While driving her Cadillac in Marsha's neighborhood, Joan sees kids playing in the street and says "Why must you live someplace with all these children?"  Madcap Marsha puffs on her cigarette and says "Because I've got a 2 bedroom sublet for $300 a month from Mary Todd Lincoln that I'm keeping till the day I die!"  

Marsha is so funny.. and wow, 300 bucks for a 2 bedroom apartment in the city.

Meanwhile, Marsha's best gay friend James Coco is arranging flowers in her apartment and fluffing pillows, when a smirking Latino grocery boy delivers 2 paper sacks of groceries.  In one bag you see a one liter bottle of TAB Cola and red carton of Marlboro cigarettes.  The delivery boy tells James Coco it's $14.28.  James is shocked--for two bags of groceries??

James Coco put out bagels and cream cheese for Marsha's triumphant return

I forgot to mention that while in rehab, Marsha lost 35 pounds.  When James opens the door and hugs her, he yells "Where is your ass--WHERE IS YOUR ASS!!"  Madcap Marsha flings her luggage down and says "I packed it away in one of my suitcases just for you, I knew you'd miss it!" 

Anyway, in the days that follow Marsha meets up with estranged daughter Kristy McNichol and is talked into letting Kristy move in with her.  Kristy is not madcap, in fact she's quite the opposite.  

"Someday when I grow up" Marsha tells her daughter "I want to be just like you."  Not exactly what a kid wants to hear from their mother.

That first night, Kristy comes into Marsha's bedroom and asks if they can have a mother daughter chat.  Marsha takes off her reading glasses, puts down the script she was reading and invites her into her bed.  

You can't see it in the photo above, but when Kristy begins talking, Marsha reaches over on her nightstand for her pack of Marlboros and lights one up.  Smoking in bed?  Yep, we all did.  With your kid right beside you breathing that secondhand smoke?  Yep, we all did.

I don't want to give away the rest of the picture, but in one scene where Marsha falls asleep on her living room sofa during the late show, she wakes up and fumbles around, looking for something.  "Where's my cigarettes?"   She slips on her shoes and exits the building and looks for an open business but can only find a bar.  Ducking down, she enters and puts 55 cents into the cigarette machine and pulls the knob--nothing comes out.  She yells "GIMME MY CIGARETTES!" and pounds the top of the vending machine.

The bartender says "Lady, stop beating on my machine!  How much money did you put in there?"  She yells back "TWELVE DOLLARS!"  The bar patrons erupt in laughter.  

A pack of Marlboros in New York will now run you $18.00.