When it’s 8F outside and nothing but ice & snow… time for some Bachelor Man style Nanner Cookies

The title says it all.  When I got up this morning and shivered into my kitchen to make a cup of Tully’s coffee, the news in the other room announced the start of a new Ice Age and I wished I had something sweet to go with my Hawaiian brew.  I had 1 1/2 overripe bananas sitting on top of my fridge, what if I made banana bread?

Forget it—no walnuts, no nutmeg and I don’t think I have enough flour or bananas.  But I do have some cinammon and this handful of leftover Hershey Kisses from Christmas.

Okay, this cinammon has a “Best if Used By March 7 2001” date but it still smells cinammony.  Didn’t I read about a team of archaeologists who made campfire stew using 2,500 year old spices from an Egyptian tomb?  What’s 25 years compared to 25 hundred, right?

Let’s go!

All cookies start with beating 1 stick of softened butter and 1 cup of sugar until fluffy.  My grandma’s Rival mixer makes a racket, but gets the job doneNow I’m beating in one large egg that I let sit out for an hour (to reach room temperature) until creamyChopping up those Hershey Kisses… these suckers are hard, it felt more like I was whittling soapSliced up those ripe bananas, sprinkled 1 teaspoon baking soda over them and then mashed them up good with a forkAdding the molten bananas to my sugar-butter-egg mix, then beat togetherNow I’m sloooowly adding 2 cups sifted all purpose flour, a hard pinch of salt and 1/2 teaspoon of 25 year old cinammonLastly, folding my chip-chopped chocolate kisses into the batter with a large spoonNine tablespoon-sized glops on my air-baking sheet.  I forgot to buy parchment paper the last time I was at the store, so I put a dab of canola oil on my pan and rubbed it all over with a half paper towel.  Bake at 350F for 10-12 minutes.We’ve got cookies!  These are actually VERY moist, like cookie-sized slices of banana bread, but crispy around the edges. 

This recipe made 33 delicious cookies total.  Time to make that coffee.

Picture of the Day: Bearing an uncanny resemblance to my 62 year old grandma

A couple nights ago, I was in my customary place on my living room floor talking to my friend and former classmate Diana on the phone, about another friend and former classmate of ours who has fallen on some pretty bad times, health wise.  She may end up in a nursing home later this year.

I remarked that it was simply too incredible to fathom; she’s not even 62 for a couple weeks yet.  (Diana turned 62 this past summer, I did this past Halloween.)

Later, while going through photos on my old computer (yes, I’m taking too much time deciding what I want to move to my new laptop) I came across this picture from May 1976.  It was taken in front of my old high school, and it’s apparently May Day as my sister was a Maypole dancer.  Her dress was red with white stars, in honor of the Bicentennial. 

Grandma Morris, my sister Shawn, Dad in May 1976:  Shawn was 12 here (3 months from turning 13), Dad was 39 & Grandma 62

(Meanwhile, our dad was rockin’ that denim leisure suit!  Seriously, I’d forgotten all about it.  The man was too cool for school.)

As we’d just been discussing the good & bad of being 62, I forwarded this photo to my friend Diana to show her what 62 was looking like in 1976.  Diana gave me a chuckle when she replied:

Boy this made me laugh—I assured Diana that even though my grandmother looked perfect to me, Diana did look less grandmotherly than Grandma here.  I was being honest too.  Diana (who lives on a mostly plant-based diet) is probably in better shape now than she was in the 1970s. 

Anyway, it gave us both a good laugh and I’m glad we ended things on a positive note. But then an hour or so later, I’m in the bathroom brushing my teeth and boy, do I look like my grandma.  That’s not how it’s supposed to work… is it?

Well, on that silly note I just wanted to add a new post to my blog.  I hope everyone out there is doing good.

 

Steve’s sheet, money shame, what is it and why do I even have it

A few weeks ago my old buddy and former coworker Steve R. retired.  He sat in the cubicle behind mine for several years, and they don’t come nicer, funnier or more helpful than Steve.  I love the guy.

Steve is 64 and wanted to retire 4 years ago, but then covid struck, the stock market (and his retirement account) crashed and his wife Cindy got very ill.  It took long enough but everything turned around (and Cindy’s all better), so better late than never.  A week after he retired, Steve texted me one night and said “Doug, Cindy is sending me out at 9:30 for chicken & rice!  It’s pretty late but this is how we roll in Retirement Town!” 

Since then, I’ve heard about Retirement Town 3-4 times and I’m glad he’s enjoying it.  I can’t believe I’ve been here myself since January 2015, where did the time go?

This reminds me of my last day in the office, the events that day are etched into my brain.  My boss called me into his office and said he couldn’t believe I was really quitting.  (I’d given my notice a month before, shortly after Thanksgiving.)

He said “You’re not retiring, where are you going?  Highmark?  PNC Bank?”  Nope.  He said “How can you retire, I’m older than you and I can’t retire.  I make more money than you, I probably save more than you.”   I said I did more than save my money, I invested it.

When I left Len’s office, Steve asked what happened in there and I told him.  Steve said “Do you really have enough to retire?”   I said I hoped so.  I had no problem telling him what I had, we often compared notes when it came to investing.

I said “I have $223,000 in a personal stock portfolio, and $15,000 in the bank.  If I can live on $25-27,000 a year, and don’t fall in love with any black widows or get catfished by online romance scammers, I’m hoping that money can last 10 years.  Then I can start spending down my retirement fund, and I’ll have social security too.”

Steve said “Let’s set up a spreadsheet to see how long your non-retirement stocks last” and came up with the simple excel below.  He said it looked like I’d be down to $4,500 by January 2025.

According to this I should be starting January 2024 with $29,367 remaining in my portfolio but it’s quite the opposite; I don’t want to say how much, but I’ve got more now than what I started with in 2015.  How is that even possible?  I guess Steve’s 3% growth estimate was too conservative, and nothing beats the magic of reinvesting dividends, capital gains & a seven year bull market. 

If I could give a person under the age of 40 some advice, I’d tell them to do more than stick their money in the bank.  Invest it.  You don’t even have to know what you’re doing; go to Vanguard, Fidelity, Charles Schwab—open an account, find a mutual fund that invests in the S&P 500, buy shares of that fund.  Buy shares monthly or when you can afford it.  Do this for 20 years.  You’re done.

So why do I almost feel guilty for having what I do?  No one gave it to me, I saved for thirty years and instead of buying a home, put it in stocks instead.   A friend and former classmate of mine wants to retire this year, but doesn’t have a lot besides their social security and a small pension.  At least she owns her home, and her mortgage is paid in full.  Can she do it?  I very much hope so.

I have a one bedroom apartment I’ll be paying rent on forever, yet I still feel like I have more than my fair share.  I was talking to another friend and relating all of this, and she said it sounded like “money shame”.  I said I’d never heard of it, she said it’s the feeling of shame you get for having too much or too little money.

It’s not like I’m a millionaire, but if I continue living the way I’ve been living for the last 30 years, I’m pretty much set.  There’s nothing wrong with that, right?  Isn’t that the goal here?

Maybe I retired a little too early than my subconscious liked, but better too early than too late.  I’m just glad Steve & Cindy are enjoying living in Retirement Town.