Monday, November 2, 2020

When life hands you lemons, make cookies and keep others company on Election Day

Saturday night, anxious for something sweet and feeling glum, I baked some lemon cookies.  I’m talking SUPER lemon cookies, with lemon juice & lemon zest and a lemon extract glaze.  I got the recipe online, and thinking that 2 cups of flour wasn’t enough, decided to “up” the ingredients to not-quite-double.  I wound up with 40 large cookies.  Oh heck, why not—I’ll eat these in no time!

Sunday morning I got up, stumbled into the kitchen to make some coffee and saw the 3 Tupperware containers of cookies.  Ugh!  What happened to that big appetite I had the night before?

I decided I’d wrap up 30 cookies, hand ‘em out to my favorite neighbors (Helen, Mary Bean, Opal, Dave, Carl).  Made my coffee, sat down on my couch and flicked on the tv—and saw that image above, a Biden campaign bus in Texas being surrounded by a swarm of “Trump trucks” attempting to run it off the road.  WHAT THE HELL!  I then learned our great President had posted the 26 second video on his Twitter page, and gave his good ol’ boys a fist-pump in the air.

Doesn’t it feel like the late 1960s again?  I keep waiting for a GEORGE WALLACE FOR PRESIDENT sign to pop up on my screen.  My God, this is 2020 not 1968!  Events now are starting to feel even worse. 

Saturday night’s lemon cookie production, the pre-glaze phase

After getting myself cleaned up, I had some breakfast then bundled up my cookies and walked down the hall to my neighbor Opal’s apartment.  I explained I overdid it last night on the baking, but if she had any Covid-concerns or doubted my baking prowess… nope!  But she DID have something she wanted to ask me.

She asked if I had seen the news about guns being allowed in polling places, I said yes but I thought that was just in Michigan.  She said she hadn’t voted yet, was planning on going Election Day and did I want to tag along.  I said I’d already voted over a month ago via mail-in ballot. 

She asked if I knew where the new polling place was.  I said yes, at that spooky Epiphany Church beside that creepy crematorium. 

Our new polling location; now imagine this on an overcast day, with black smoke billowing from the rear

After the look she gave me, I said I’d come along if she wanted me to.  She said great, we’ll leave at 7.

7:00 am?!  She laughed and asked if I needed my beauty sleep.

I told her I’d be ready.  She said she was inviting Mary Bean & Helen to come along.  Fine, the more the merrier.  (Just kidding, 3 is my limit.)  I said it might be chilly, we better wear our flak jackets. 

I know, Opal—not funny.  But I kind of wish we had ‘em!

Anyway, it’s now Monday morning and I have one bundle of cookies left—I think I’m going to take them upstairs and offer them to Mean Betty. 

Doug, wait!  Didn’t you say Betty was the wicked witch of the North and a Trumpet?!

I DID.  But a couple nights ago I was telling my friend Danielle that Betty wasn’t voting for Trump after all, after hearing his wife on TV--she didn’t trust her “Russian accent”.  

I told Danielle I thought Melania Trump’s accent was Transylvanian (you know, Bride of Dracula) not Russian; but that wasn’t exactly a good reason to not vote for someone.  Danielle said “Who cares?  It got Betty to change her mind didn’t it?”   I guess so!

Well I’d better better grab my mask, you’re not allowed to even look in Betty’s direction without one—on second thought, maybe I’ll just hang these on her door.



46 comments:

  1. Melania Trump is Slovenia if memory serves but you know its funny because conversely I know of someone from Slovakia! its interesting because here in the west we've welcomed races from across the globe into our countries for decades. Ireland has a multi cultural society which is progress. I consider myself an Irish American. Star Trek is my life and a part of American indeed global culture. Its important for us to be welcoming despite folks coming from tough backgrounds steeped with historic issues. Enjoy your cookie sharing my friend. They'll be calling you the cookie monster next, lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Spacer (and I gotta get off this cookie kick!) Anyway I know you're Irish but if you consider yourself Irish American that's great :) I know where Melania is from, I was being a smartass about Transylvania as she puts me in mind of the Bride of Dracula >:^)

      Delete
    2. I find it odd that Trump has a foreign born wife but claims all Mexicans are foreigners who should go back to where they came from. He's such a hypocrite.

      Delete
  2. Fist up for trying to run someone off the road - OMG, that says so much.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wish I lived closer. I love tangy lemony tasting things but my foreign born wife doesn't. I may have to figure out the recipe and start baking them myself.

    As a political middle of the road person who already voted for someone who hasn't been mentioned on any news show yet (that I've watched anyway) and won't get a whisper of a mention tomorrow night, I'm just ready for this to be over with so I can go about my life without being bombarded from one side or the other about why the other party sucks. I think Rodney King said it best with, "Can't we all just get along?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ed I wish I could see it in a more neutral way, but I'm a Democrat thru & thru, ESPECIALLY since we've had to contend with Trump these past 4 years. I tried very hard to understand his popularity at the start, and all I saw was corruption, ignorance, a monster with a too-long tie. I'm praying the insanity ends soon.

      Delete
  4. Dear ApacheDug and friends, crematoriums are a sign of the (pleasure-loving) times - it's way cheaper to burn 'em, than have the mortician staff place the departed loved one in a big box, and have him or her placed six feet under, and then pay for an etched slab on top.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well Sue, my family has a private cemetery--but I still want my remains to be burned & my ashes tossed. No desire to be put underground.

      Delete
    2. Dear ApacheDug, and i knew a man who specifically told his family, that if anything happens to him, and they bury, instead of cremate, him, that he would come back and haunt them.
      But still, the exceptions prove the rule.

      Delete
    3. Sue, yikes--but I honestly feel the same way as that man. BTW, I'd love to come back as a ghost :)

      Delete
  5. Well, at least you have a sense of humor about this whole thing. I think you are a very loving, generous man, Doug. Very nice of you to give out those cookies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gigi... thank you, you're very dear and I'm glad we're friends. :)

      Delete
  6. Good grief! That's all it took to change Betty's mind? I wish it were that easy to change all those Trumper minds.

    Your lemon cookies look awesome, Doug! I have a lemon tree here with lots of lemons. I would give you a bunch of them.

    You are very kind to protect your ladies. You don't know what's going to happen with Trump encouraging his thugs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kay you made me laugh with "is that all it takes" (like with Betty) but I agree, haha! I am not so nervous about tomorrow, we live in a pretty quiet neighborhood... but you never know! Um...I am jealous of your lemon tree, they are expensive here!! But the more i buy of 'em (I love fresh lemonade) the more I want. I wish I WAS your neighbor :)

      Delete
  7. Btw, while voting at the polling place, i hope the creepatorium next door isn't putting out ... smog.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Lordy, guns in the polling stations.
    I’m glad I live in Australia where the only extraneous things at voting areas are sausage sizzles and cake stalls (you’d feel right at home).
    Peter the MM

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha! Peter--I sure would love to visit Australia someday. For the last month I've been following "Greg's Kitchen" on youtube, have you heard of him? He's an Aussie who reviews a lot of fast food & cooks a LOT of sausages in his kitchen. You're right, I'd love it. :)

      Delete
    2. I hadn’t heard of Greg’s Kitchen so I checked him on YouTube.
      Oh dear, what an appalling accent, it sounds as if he’s channelling Steve Irwin. We don’t all speak like that.
      As a resident of Melbourne, the restaurant capital of Australia, if not the world, I don’t think he’s necessary here. He’s geared to the other states (or the rest of the world).
      Peter

      Delete
    3. Haha! Peter, thanks for the heads up--he's an entertaining character, but you're my favorite Aussie dude still :)

      Delete
    4. You make me blush.
      Of course, I don’t know how many Aussie dudes you know.

      Delete
  9. I can just taste those lemon cookies as I look at the pictures, Doug. Yummy!!! Your lucky neighbours!!! Eyes closed and fingers crossed, I'm too nervous to watch your elections unfold. Many times over the past four years I thought The Donald would be sure to be impeached. But his supporters always enabled the bad conduct to continue. It would be so nice to have a responsible grownup back in office.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Florence thanks very much for the kind cookie comments and as for the other stuff, you took the 50 words right out of my mouth! Thanks my friend, yes nervous & excited about tomorrow--glad I dont have anymore of those cookies, when I get nervous I eat nonstop! Well, I wish you were a neighbor so I could've shared those cookies with you :)

      Delete
  10. Aren't you just the nicest neighbor. Even included mean Betty. That was funny about Melania Trump sounding too Russian for her to vote for Donald. Hey, we will take it.
    Cool of you to be the muscle for your ladies so they can vote. Be careful though.
    Go Pennsylvania. We need you blue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well Patti, I loved just about every word you said here--thanks my friend!! Haha yeah--being these ladies muscle, I love it! :)

      Delete
  11. That is so sweet. We need you red.

    ReplyDelete
  12. What a very kind gesture! I shared my Nanaimo bars and my Anzac cookies, but am not sure what my next baking project will be. I'll have to watch more episodes of the Great Australian baking show. I can't believe that weapons at voting places is a good idea. Perhaps I'm not a true American because I don't even own a handgun. I would probably shoot myself in the foot if I did. I am very anxious and trying to find distractions. Tomorrow I get a temporary crown put on (NOT the kind of distraction I wanted) then have a car coffee date with a friend in the afternoon. (the kind of outing I need) Be careful out there and GO BIDEN!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Margaret, and I must not be too American as I don't own any guns either! I actually read the majority of Americans don't, it's a small minority that own them all. Well good luck with your dental work tomorrow and yeah, go Biden!

      Delete
  13. I have never even held a gun, and I don't have any desire to start now. It is scary, though, to realize how many people have bought them recently. I am glad I don't live close enough to share in your cookies, they like to add to my expanding hips all too easily. Good for you to share, and to take the ladies to the polling place! You're a good guy. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks DJan! To be honest, I'm glad Opal asked me to come along--this was my first time doing a mail-in vote and I was very curious how the polls were looking today. (Turned out, very quiet; we only had 6-7 people in line in front of us.) I feel EXACTLY the way you do about guns, maybe more so as I don't believe civilians should have such free rein with them. And finally... I'm sure I'd be a pest but I DO wish you lived closer, haha--you'd be just the motivation I needed to stop being a couch potato :)

      Delete
  14. About the Austin incident, I suppose you know by now that Trump has concluded that his supporters weren't harassing the people on the bus, they were protecting them! From what, he didn't say, although I was surprised that he didn't blame Antifa.

    There's a writer I enjoy who grew up in your area. Her name was Margaret Deland, and she was enormously popular a 120 years ago.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Snowbrush, nice to meet you and yes--I heard Trump's pathetic defense of those creeps. AND his complaint that the FBI should be investigating Antifa instead! Unreal, I hope the FBI finds every one of those Texan Trumpers. Anyway, I've never heard of Margaret Deland, I'll have to look her up. :)

      Delete
    2. "Anyway, I've never heard of Margaret Deland, I'll have to look her up. :)"

      Dug(?), except when I'm reading books about cats (fiction and nonfiction) or, rarely, about local Oregon geology, I tend to read obscure American fiction from the end of the Civil War to the start of the Great Depression. Upon discovering Deland's first novel (which nearly led to her being disowned by her family) "John Ward Preacher" in a charity book store, I became a serious collector of her novels, short stories, letters, and photos. Her writings are set in the--then rural--environs of Pittsburgh except for one novel which was set in Mercer. If you're a football fan, you might also want to look up her husband, Loren Deland. She also wrote two autobiographies, and I have two biographies of her. Recently, I've been reading the three novels of Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr. (it was Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr. who is primarily remembered today), and am on my second novel by Frank Stockton (his "Rudder Grange" being, to my taste, the equal of Twain's humor), my interest being primarily in writers whom few people have heard of. I'll just mention that if you ARE tempted to buy something by Deland or other long ago and poorly remembered writers, old copies tend to be both cheaper and technically superior to modern reprints, and because Deland was so popular and prolific, they aren't hard to come by. Yet, if you tend to prefer modern fiction, you might find her a little dated, and, fan though I am, I must admit that I often come across writers who I enjoy just as much, Deland's appeal for me being partly in her writing, and partly in the fact that she struggled with some of the same religion-based questions I have.

      Delete
  15. I'd like the recipe for the lemon cookies please. My daughter K makes lemon shortbread cookies.

    ReplyDelete
  16. River, I used Martha Stewart's recipe for the cookies, found here:
    https://www.marthastewart.com/315603/glazed-lemon-cookies

    But she didn't include directions for the glaze, so I made it with 2 cups powdered sugar, 1/3 cup lemon juice & 1 tblspoon Lemon Extract. It's VERY lemony though, almost too much--you don't need the glaze :)

    ReplyDelete
  17. Thank you. I already know how to do lemon glaze, I make it and trickle it over gingerbread cake, also over lemon chiffon cake, which I rarely make because it uses 8 eggs.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 8 eggs! I'd love a taste of that, sounds so good :)

      Delete
  18. Cookies sound good and generous of you to gift others. Will be nice, once and for all, to have this election resolved and old what’shisname out of the WH, hopefully by 1/20/2021 or sooner.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Thank you Joared! And what you said about the election.. yes, YES. I just hope it actually happens, I'll believe it when I see it.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Maybe Betty's really your secret friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha--Jenny, we were once friends but trust me, after the last year or so--we're really not! She sees me as a liberal wuss & I see her as a 100 lb pain in the a--!

      Delete
  21. Thought I would mention that I googled up a lemon cookie recipe with lemon glaze and made it last night. It was definitely a keeper and satisfied my lemon taste buds.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That sounds good Ed, I think I'm ready for another batch myself. I think next time I wont be so quick to give most of them away :)

      Delete

Thanks for stopping by. I'm glad to hear from you and appreciate the time you take to comment.